


Stardrops

by SailorScribble



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Love Triangles, Romance, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2020-05-31 05:19:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 47,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19419274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorScribble/pseuds/SailorScribble
Summary: In her first week at Stardew, Stella falls head over heels for the brooding, smokey Sebastian... And not only is that Shane guy rude, but he works for Joja, and she is determined to have nothing to do with Joja ever again.But, slowly, Stella starts to realize that Shane could be a good friend (and even something more), unless the alcohol consumes him first.





	1. Stardrop Saloon

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story inspired by my own experience playing Stardew Valley, where in the middle of eagerly pursuing Sebastian as a love interest I was mercilessly and brutally blindsided by the Shane-train. (God bless my heart). I wrote this less to share and more for my own pleasure. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do. It's short, simple, and (hopefully) sweet.

Nervous.

  
Stella stood at the door of the saloon daring herself to open it. She tried to remember the last time she felt such crippling fear. How awful, she thought, remembering how she used to be a social butterfly. But now her love of people was so drained away she couldn’t even open the door to a sleepy small-town saloon.

She put her hand on the door knob and prepared to turn it-

“Nope!” She said. She shoved her hands into her pockets, deciding to just go back to the farm and return to her work, but as she turned around she, quite literally, ran into someone behind her.

“Oh my goodness!” Stella scrambled to regain her composure, “I’m so sorry I didn’t see-“

The woman gave Stella a hardy slap on the shoulder and a big smile, “No worries hun!” She said with a smokey voice, “The door’s funny sometimes, you just have to give it a firm push!”

The woman was much older, but her arm around Stella's shoulders was strong and firm. The woman pushed her toward the saloon door, just like they were old friends. The older woman was so close, Stella could feel her blonde curls tickling her cheek, smell beer on her breath.

“Oh I uh- Actually I was just going home-“ Stella tried, but the woman was either ignoring her or didn’t hear as they entered the saloon.

The saloon wasn’t that busy, though Stella wasn’t sure what she was expecting in such a small town. Old timey music filled the empty space while a large jolly-looking mustachioed man was wiping glasses behind the counter. A significantly smaller younger blue haired girl who looked straight from an indie rom-com was behind the counter next to him wearing a vibrant red dress, delightedly popping foam bubbles from a beer tap. Stella didn’t notice the man sitting in shadows next to the bar counter. He noticed her, but pretended not to.

The mustachioed man who Stella could only guess was the owner of the saloon beamed a disarming smile, “Evening Pam! What’s that you’ve dragged in?”

It took Stella a moment to realize he was talking about her. The woman, who Stella now knew was Pam, gave her a hearty pat on the back, “She’s that new farmer everyone’s been talking about!”

'Everyone’s been talking about'? Did everyone already know her?

The blue haired girl perked up with delight, “The new farmer!?” She gasped, “It’s so nice to meet you!”

Stella’s cheeks flushed. She used to love meeting new people. She used to be as friendly and bold as the blue haired girl. But now it made her feel small; “H-Hi.” Stella stammered, fumbling with a button on her overalls, “My name’s Stella.”

If anyone in the room noticed that Stella was nervous, they didn’t seem to care, “A pleasure, Stella!” The large man responded, “You can call me Gus.”

“And I’m Emily!” Blue-hair waved excitedly.

“Alright, alright!” Pam pushed Stella up to the bar and practically forced her into a stool, “Enough talking and let’s break her in!” She winked.

Gus chuckled, “Coming right up!”

“Say.” Pam turned toward Stella, “You planting any hops on that farm of yours? I ain’t harping on Gus’s goods, but I would kill for a quality IPA.”

“I- uh-“ Stella’s voice caught in her throat.

 _What is wrong with me?_ She berated herself. These people were being perfectly friendly, and yet that somehow made it more difficult for her to speak.

The man in the shadows sipped his beer slowly, watching the whole ordeal with muted curiosity.

Stella cleared her throat and finally found her voice again, “I’m still cleaning up the place but I hope to start planting soon.”

Gus served them two golden mugs of ale heaping with foam, “It will be nice to have that farm up and running again! I miss the old man’s fresh produce.”

Pam lifted her mug, “Cheers to the new farmer!” She said with a twinkle in her eye.

The mug felt heavy in her hand but Stella lifted it anyway, “Cheers.” She hoped her smile didn’t look too nervous.

Pam slammed back the beer like it was shot of rum. Stella tried not to stare and looked at her own drink. Was it Joja beer? She wondered.

For years she had been working with the Joja Corporation, the most successful business in the country, boasting stores in 'every town, valley, mountaintop, and desert plain'. They sold everything from groceries to clothing, appliances to hardware: 'All your needs, all in one place'. Stella used to think it was an honor to work for such a successful company. Stella working fresh out of college at the firm’s prestigious headquarters in the bustling Zuzu City. But despite its lofty reputation, Stella found herself trapped in a cold monotony; crunching numbers. Day in and day out. At first she tried to delude herself; convince herself that the whopping paychecks were worth the hours of number crunching, until one day she found herself completely alone in a gray cubicle with only the glow of a computer for company, pretending she was happy. Pretending everything was okay. Stella didn't even notice that days had turned into months. And then months had turned to years.

And then... She snapped. She took a leap of faith, leaving everything she knew behind, the fat paycheck, the nice apartment, the fashionable clothes and large TV... And came out here to the farm she had inherited from her grandfather. In the middle of nowhere. With nothing.

Thus why she was... 'nervous'.

She ran her finger down the glass mug, watching the line it left behind in the condensation. Part of her work was crunching numbers for alcohol distribution. She knew Joja marketing was shady… Joja wasn’t afraid of manipulating customers into dependencies, using tactics that meant customers kept coming back and buying more. The more innocent examples might be items that could only be resupplied with Joja brand products, for example a mop that could only be replaced with Joja brand heads, electronics that could only be charged with Joja brand wires.

But the more heinous of these examples were truly addictive items. Crunching the numbers, Stella could see how some of these items became problematic. For example, alcohol would be discounted for employees the first six months. Stella had wondered if it was because employees would feel more inclined to purchase alcohol in those first six months, until it created a dependency. Then they had to come back for more, at the full price.

The stories weren’t written in words, but she could see what was happening in the numbers on her spreadsheets. But, always the diligent little Joja employee, she had ignored these troubling statistics. She turned a blind eye and instead crunched those numbers, submitted her reports, and carried on doing the job of a drone.

Stella watched the bubbles of foam popping in the mug of her beer, wondering how many alcoholics she might have enabled with her complacency.

“Are you okay?" Stella snapped back to reality, realizing Emily was leaning over the counter looking at her with concern, "We can get you something else to drink?”

“Oh! Oh no!” Stella waved her hand to dismiss the offer, “This is fine!” She took a swig of the beer to prove it.

It was not Joja brand. She was relieved. 

After a couple of gulps she finally felt brave enough to give a better look around the room. A beautiful woman with a long braid of strawberry blonde hair and a crop top sat with one foot propped on the table, a sketchbook in hand, and a bottle of wine in front of her. She seemed utterly enthralled in whatever she was doodling. In another corner of the room, a burly blacksmith and a swarthy fisherman sat together at a table, grumbling in deep voices with furls of smoke from a pipe and cigar dancing in the space between them.

“So, Stella, you here by yourself?” Pam asked, “A little lady like you must have a partner.”

Gus clucked his tongue, “Pam, don’t you think that’s a bit personal?”

Stella was still exploring the saloon, “No, I’m single-“

And that’s when she saw him. She felt her heart skip a beat. Was it the beer? No. No it wasn’t. Her cheeks went rosey and an old familiar feeling filled her chest, “Who is that?” She asked, staring at the most attractive man she had ever seen.

The three at the counter turned to see where Stella was looking.

Pam asked, a little too loudly, “Sam?” 

Gus suggested, quieter, “Abigail?” 

Then Emily giggled, “No, I think she means Sebastian~.” She practically sang.

“Sebastian?” Stella repeated in a daze.

In the other half of the saloon, three folks were playing a game of pool. A witchy looking girl with waves of purple hair and pearly skin, who Stella could only assume was Abigail, leaned against her cue stick, swaying her hips to some beat that only she could hear. A guy with spikey blonde hair, sandy skin and devilish piercings - Sam? –was playing air guitar with his cue stick, while the third dressed all in black leaned over the pool table, lining his cue and measuring it up.

Sebastian…

'Emo' was the word that came to mind; skin pale as a ghost and hair sleek as night. Stella was ashamed to admit that she had a thing for dark edgy boys. He had a mysterious air about him. His clothes reflected his overall dark demeanor and he had a sharp look in his eye. He rolled up his sleeves, exposing his forearms.

Stella’s heart pounded. Feelings that she thought had long since died were suddenly bursting back into life again. She felt like she was in high school again.

“Why don’t you go say hi?” Emily suggested.

“Say hi?” Stella asked, horrified by the thought.

“He doesn’t bite!” Emily rushed out from behind the bar and grabbed Stella by her hand, “C’mon!”

Once again, Stella was being dragged into a social situation by complete strangers.

The one person in the saloon who Stella had still failed to notice, the man who had been sitting in his lonely corner in the shadows, leaned over toward the bar, dropping the exact amount of change for another beer onto the counter.

Gus tried not to look too nervous when he asked, “Are you sure you want another, Shane?”

“Yeah.” Shane grumbled, not taking his eyes off of Stella, “I wanna see how this unfolds.”

Gus reluctantly passed him another can of Joja beer which he pulled from some boxes he kept under the counter just for Shane. Gus wished he had more of a spine to cut Shane off. Still watching Stella, Shane popped open the new can with a satisfying hiss.

The first sip was always the best.

He glugged down the new can, watching the farmer with vested interest.

The three cool kids turned and looked at Stella curiously as Emily pushed her forward, “Guys! This is the new farmer! She wants to say hi!”

The three stood there silently, waiting for her to say something.

Stella gulped, “Hello- Uh. I mean - …Hi.”

The purple hair girl snorted, but tried to hide it with a cough. Stella went beet red.

Sam grinned toothily, “Nice to meet you. Do you have a name?”

“Stella.” Stella responded stiffly.

“Like star?” Abigail tapped her chin, “Stella the star in Stardrop Saloon in Stardew Valley.” She giggled, “What a coincidence.”

Stella couldn’t tell if Abigail was genuinely amused or mocking her. These three were so confident… So cool… She _really_ felt like she was in high school again.

The blondie held out his hand, “Sam.” He said.

Stella carefully took it and he proceeded to shake so vigorously she thought he might shake her skeleton out her body.

The punky girl giggled and waved a hand, “Abigail.” She said.

And finally, the one that Stella was most interested in; “Sebastian.” The hunk said, giving her a nod.

Stella's heart was doing backflips. She wondered if she was trembling.

Shane, who was still watching the ordeal, actually smirked in amusement. Gus raised his brows with surprise. He hadn’t seen Shane express any sort of positive emotion in a long time.

Stella stood there in awkward silence. Abigail, Sam, and Sebastian all looked at each other before Sam finally broke the silence, “Anyway-“ He said, turning his attention away from Stella, “As I was saying- ‘Magic Apples’ is a terrible band name!”

Abigail rolled her eyes, “You haven’t even entertained the idea!”

It was clear to Stella that her conversation with them was now over. She and Emily returned to the bar. Stella felt like that was a total failure, but Emily didn’t seem to think so; “That was great!” She chirped, “I can tell they really like you!”

Stella looked a little hopeful, “Really?” 

Shane rolled his eyes. There was simply too much cheer in the room. He chugged hungrily at his can hoping the booze would drown out his senses soon.

Emily leaned in, “You know a great way to people’s hearts are gifts. I hear Sebastian is a fan of gems. Specifically-" She put her hand up to whisper, "Frozen tears.”

“Frozen tears?”

How romantic. The beautiful emo boy with his cold frozen tears... Stella thought her heart might burst.

“Did I hear a mention of frozen tears?” The blacksmith in the corner of the room perked up, “You wouldn’t happen to be interested in mining?”

And with that, the conversation began to flow. Stella found herself growing more and more comfortable with the new crowd. And Shane found himself growing more and more gloomy.

As the night wore on, Stella didn’t try engaging with Sebastian, Sam, or Abigail again, but she didn’t let the awkwardness get in the way of making new friends. The beer certainly helped. Emily, Pam, and Gus were great cheerleaders too.

Soon enough, Stella was sure she had introduced herself to everyone in the bar (including the pretty artist, whose name she now knew was Leah). After finishing her mug, she was feeling pretty good. Not bad for her first night in Stardew Valley. Maybe leaving everything behind in Zuzu City and taking a chance coming out here wasn't as crazy as it seemed. Things could start getting better now... She was ready to turn in for the night. She returned the empty mug to the table for Gus or Emily to pick up, when she finally noticed Shane.

He finished his beer and loudly crushed the empty can of onto the counter. He tossed some coins, grunting something to Gus that she couldn’t quite hear.

How did she miss him?

He was considerably more scruffy than anyone else in the saloon; his hair ashy and messy, five o'clock shadow graying a sallow yellow face; he looked somewhere between chubby and malnourished. She shifted uncomfortably, noticing his blue tattered Joja shirt. Was it a uniform?

Was Joja here in Stardew Valley too?

While Gus fetched the mysterious man another beer, Stella leaned toward the stranger in his lonely corner of the room and asked, “Is that a Joja uniform? Is there a Joja Mart in Stardew-”

“Do I know you?” Shane snapped.

Stella jumped. Sure she might have had some awkward greetings tonight but no one had yet to be so rude.

“I don’t know you.” He growled, his dark eyes glassy yet piercing, “So why are you talking to me?”

Stella opened her mouth to respond, but found her mouth had gone dry.

Gus sighed, “Shane. I will not permit rude behavior in my saloon.”

“Fine.” Shane snatched the beer from Gus’s hand and stood up, swaying a little, “I don’t want to be here anymore anyway.”

He stormed to the door and slammed it shut behind him.

Gus and Emily, looked at each other sadly. Stella felt like her balloon of confidence was quickly deflating. Had she done something wrong?

“Don’t mind Shane.” Emily gently reassured her, “He’s just a grump.”

“Yeah.” Stella fumbled with that loose button on her overalls, feeling her anxieties return. She gave Emily and Gus a weak smile, “Thanks for the beer. I ought to head out too, actually.”

Gus gave her that warm smile, “Alright.” 

Emily chimed in cheerfully, “Hope to see you tomorrow!” 

Stella left the saloon, a little afraid the man called Shane might be lurking in the shadows. But he was nowhere to be seen.

Why didn’t she stand up for herself? She looked like an idiot! She felt humiliated. She started running through a series of comebacks in her mind – all the things she _could_ have said: _“I’m trying to introduce myself to you.” “You don’t have to be so rude!”_

She finally decided that of course he was rude. He was with Joja. And there was one thing Stella knew for sure-

She wanted nothing to do with Joja ever again.


	2. The Pond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, after days of searching she has it - the frozen tear! Now her love story with Sebastian can finally begin... But on her way to deliver the gift to her crush, she's intercepted by a brooding drunk on a dock, who becomes more revealing than she was anticipating.

_It was the egg festival in Stardew Valley and young Stella was eager to win the coveted prize. She scampered under bushes, behind trees, around corners, filling up her basket before the Mayor blew the whistle. So determined, she was, that she didn’t notice the old man until she bumped into him._

_“Hey!” He snarled, causing her to nearly drop her basket, “Watch where you’re going you little runt!”_

_The old man was so frightening, five year old Stella burst into tears. Thankfully her grandfather was close by. After some gentle consoling, a tissue, and a kiss on the forehead, Stella was finally starting to calm down._

_“Do I need to say sorry?” She asked._

_Her grandpa took her hands and shook his head, “You don’t need to say or do anything for anyone who makes you uncomfortable.”_

_Stella sniffled and nodded, glad she wasn’t going to be made to apologize to someone so scary._

_“Why was he so mean to me?” She hiccuped._

_“Well…” Her grandpa scratched his head, “It’s hard to say. But most people who are mean like that… Well, it’s because they are actually hurting inside.”_

\-------

Stella dropped her backpack brimming with rocks and other earthly finds onto the saloon floor in a miserable heap. She plopped herself into a barstool with just as little fanfare.

Gus passed her the usual pint, “Oof. You look exhausted.”

“Thanks, Gus.” Stella muttered, wiping some dirt from her chin. It had been a couple of weeks since her first night at the saloon and Stella had been diligently preparing her farm, which had been left in quite the state. The farm was promised to her by her grandfather, who had passed away now many years ago. She didn't realize she had inherited the place until that fateful day at Joja Corp, when she felt she couldn't go on anymore and remembered the letter he gave her on his death bed...

Maybe if she had known earlier, she would have been able to keep the farm in shape! In the years since his passing, it had been left to derelict. Stella was working every day removing debris and turning soil. And spending years in an office cubicle with little exercise lent her no favors! The work on the farm was hard, and there was more than one time she had completely fallen apart and questioned ever coming to the valley. But she also found the work rewarding too. At least, more rewarding than her work at Joja had ever been.

She had even expanded her work outside of the farm, agreeing to help dig around in the abandoned mines in the North East. Stella probably should have said no to taking on more work, but she was eager to find Sebastian precious gems; specifically frozen tears.

But they were proving hard to find.

Emily bopped over to Stella as she took a swig from the cool refreshing lager, “Any luck?” The little bird of a friend asked excitedly.

The look on Stella’s face of utter disappointment was enough of an answer. She reached into her bag, “I did find this though" and tossed Emily a ruby.

Emily's eyes twinkled with delight, “More goodies!”

Stella groaned, “But no frozen tears!”

As if on cue, the door behind her creaked open and Sebastian, Sam, and Abigail came into the saloon to play their usual game of Friday night pool. Stella jumped to her feet, brushed some dirt off her overalls, and rushed over to Sebastian to do her usual chit chat.

“Hey!” She gave them an awkward smile, “How are you all doing today?”

Sam gave her two big thumbs up, “Great!” 

Letting Sam speak for them, the other two didn’t answer and simply walked past to play pool. Why did Sam have to be so friendly? He always got in the way of speaking to Sebastian! Stella watched them leave then returned to the barstool and dropped her head onto the counter, groaning with defeat.

“There, there.” Emily gently patted her head, “You’ll find those frozen tears someday and then he’ll be eating from your hands!”

“But why does he have to like the hardest thing to find!?” Stella whined, “Why can’t he like something simple? Like… Like pizza?” She lifted her mug, “Or beer," She took an angry gulp.

Emily giggled, "Well isn't that funny!" She leaned across the counter about to let in Stella on a secret, “You know does like pizza and beer?”

“Who?”

Emily’s eyes darted over to Shane.

Shane?

Shane was sitting at his usual spot in the shadowy corner of the bar, staring blankly into his prescription can of Joja beer. This time, however, he seemed less interested in eavesdropping and suckled at his can, wasting yet another night away.

What a jerk, he was. Every time they spoke she was only met with the same rudeness:

The time that she accidentally bumped into him on his way to work- _“Watch where you’re going! Are you blind?”_

The day she happened to hold the door open for him as he entered the saloon, _“I can open it myself.”_

At least at the egg festival he seemed a little less miserable, but even there, their conversation was curt and short:

_“So, I hear that you and Marnie supply the eggs for this festival?”_

_“Hm.”_

_“Do you sell chickens, then?”_

_“Yep.”_

_"I might be interested in having chickens on my farm.”_

_“Why are you bothering me? I want to be alone!”_

Mean to the bone, that kind of guy was. Stella had met plenty of guys like his type during her time at Joja; bitter, rude, and only interested in getting the job done and going home. She wasn't at all surprised when she discovered Stardew Valley was home to a Joja Mart and that Shane was one of their employees. All the more reason to avoid him.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t completely avoid him. He was like a permanent fixture in the saloon, quietly drinking in the corner, eavesdropping on everyone’s conversations but never joining in. A rain cloud in an otherwise sunny atmosphere.

“I don’t think he’d like a gift from me.” Stella grumbled.

Emily shrugged, “Just thought it was funny that you mentioned his two favorite things!”

Pizza and beer, huh? Well, the beer was a no brainer. She guessed that pizza wasn’t a far off guess either. She knew that pizza was on the menu, but she never saw Shane ordering any…

She wondered.

Stella had learned that the folks of Stardew Valley were indeed very easily won over by gifts. But would Shane be that easy to please? Would he even appreciate a gift?

\----------

Shane was having a bad day. Well, to be fair, every day was a bad day. But today was exceptionally bad. Why? He had been caught. He had been caught by his manager, Morris, drinking on the job.

 _“I ought to fire you.”_ Morris had threatened.

Oh how Shane wanted to just lay into Morris, but he also didn’t want to lose his job. So instead of telling Morris how he really felt he had sheepishly apologized, _“I’m sorry… It won’t happen again.”_

The memory of being so pathetic made him feel sick. He chugged at his beer, but it wasn’t helping... It wasn’t even being caught that was so horrible, it was what Morris said after that:

_“Hmmm… Well, it doesn’t seem that your drinking has affected your work performance.”_

_“No sir.”_

_“And you’ve paid for each drink you’ve had…?”_

_“Of course.”_

Morris had scratched his chin, acting as if he was deep in thought, _“Well, in that case, as long as your work performance doesn’t suffer, I don’t see anything wrong with it.”_

Even now Shane thought it baffling, _“You… don’t mind me drinking on the job?”_

Morris smiled cruelly, _“As long as you’re paying, of course.”_

Morris even went so far as to pull aside a crate of Joja beer, _“Just for you…”_ He said.

Just for you.

Shane crushed the empty can on the counter, feeling like an idiot. Of course Morris didn’t mind him drinking on the job as long as he paid for it. With as much of his paycheck that Shane was drinking each month, he was practically working for free.

He unceremoniously tossed some coins onto the table, silently ordering another. He was far gone at this point, but not far enough… He rubbed his head as the disgusting feeling of being a worm under Morris’s thumb crawled up his spine. He had to drown it out.

Gus gave Shane that same sorry look he always did when Shane ordered more. But one dirty look and Gus reluctantly complied. Shane took the next beer hastily, popped it open and gulped it down.

Why can’t you just leave Joja? _-Gulp-_

Because you’re THAT MUCH of a useless coward! _-Gulp, gulp, gulp-_

In one long, forceful push he emptied the can down his throat and when it was done, his limbs were so weak his hand clutching the can practically fell away from his lips. The saloon began to swim. His arms became loose and his fingers numb. The wretched thoughts prodding his brain changed to a whisper, then hushed. A gentle peace swept over him. He closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to relish the feeling when suddenly-

“Hey.”

Shane looked up in a drunken daze. It took a moment for him to comprehend who was standing in front of him. But he’d recognize those overalls anywhere – the cute farmer.

“How are you?” She asked.

Part of him felt guilty, he brought the empty can to his lips, forgetting that he had just finished it, “You’re still trying to make friends with me?” He almost laughed, “Haven’t I been rude enough to you yet?”

But Stella was undeterred; she held out a full pizza pie to him, “I – uh… Heard you like pizza?” She gave him a crooked smile.

Shane looked at the pizza, surprised. The tingling good feelings from copious amounts of Joja lager bubbled up from his guts like happy fluttering butterlies, and out his mouth came; “Oh wow, Stella!”

How nice of her!

It was easy to forget to be an asshole when he was three sheets to the wind (oops).

Of course he knew Gus sold pizzas, and they were damn good pizzas too. Shane could have ordered whenever he wanted to… That is, if he wasn’t saving his money to pay for booze. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had ordered one of Gus’s pizzas!

He hungrily took the pizza from her fingers; Stella standing there in complete shock. His sudden change in demeanor was enough to give someone whiplash! But he didn't notice, too excited to devour the cheesy goodness. He shoved an entire slice into his mouth, “How’d you know this is my favorite?” He asked with his mouth full.

Stella was speechless. She looked to Emily and Gus, who also looked confused. But Shane didn’t notice any of this, happily eating his pizza like a child eating cake. Stella played with the loose button on her overalls, “Emily mentioned something about it-“

Shane interrupted, "This would be a lot better with some hot pepper.”

“Hot pepper?”

“Yeah!” He licked his fingers clean, savoring every last bit of it, “Do you grow any on your farm?”

“That’s a summer crop.” Stella folded her arms, thinking, “Don’t see why I can’t grow some next season.”

“That would be amazing.” He said, “Don’t remember the last time I had some fresh peppers. The ones from Joja suck.”

He picked up a slice, offering it to her, “You’re going to have some right?”

\------

To say Stella was confused would be an understatement. The grumpy town drunk seemed to have undergone a complete transformation, simply because she offered him pizza. Were the people of Stardew Valley really that easy to please? Or was he so fucked up that he had simply forgotten who she was?

Probably the latter. His bloodshot eyes, the way he slurred, and the looseness of his limbs and the clumsy manner in which he was eating his pizza suggested that he maybe had a few too many that night – even for him.

And yet…

She found that she was... happy. Happy to see him acting so… Nice. So there was a genuine person hiding down in there. She remembered her grandfather’s words at the egg festival so many years before: _“Most people who are mean like that… It’s because they are actually hurting inside.”_

Her heart panged in her chest.

She pulled up a chair and carefully took the slice he offered to her, afraid one wrong move would send him back to his mean old self. But Shane was happily lost in his pizza. She saw the empty cans lined up on the counter beside him; cans Gus hadn’t had a chance to clear off yet. Shiny little blue Joja cans lined up like little tin soldiers – one, two, three, four…

Stella remembered sitting at her desk, counting the numbers. She watched as the demand for Joja beer and liquor shipments for some particular small town stores would slowly start to climb… As a distributor, she would receive the shipment requests from individual stores:

_Joja Mart in Swamp Bottom would like 10 crates of Joja Beer and 5 of Joja Whiskey._

_Joja Mart in Blue Jazz Park would like 20 crates of Joja Beer and 10 of Joja Whiskey._

She would crunch the numbers, compare figures, judge Joja supply versus market demand, then decide how much of the order Joja could actually fulfill. For the most part, they could meet all shipment requests. But part of her wanted to lie, to say, _“Sorry, we can’t send you ten crates. We will send you eight instead.”_ But she didn’t.

Again, she wondered, how many alcoholics she enabled?

Was Shane one of them?

He paused, giving Stella an odd look, “You gonna eat that or-?”

“Oh!” Stella quickly took a bite, “Sorry I uh- Was lost in thought.”

“Dangerous, that is.”

“Huh?”

He winked, “Don’t want to get too lost.”

Her heart fluttered, and she couldn’t help but smile. Emily and Gus looked at each other, hopefully, as Stella and Shane enjoyed their pizza together.

\-----------

Maybe it was guilt. Maybe Stella was feeling genuinely kind. Or maybe it was just because it was so easy to buy a cheap slice of pizza or a pint of beer, but from then on whenever Stella visited the saloon sniffing around for Sebastian, she always made sure to give Shane something before leaving.

Often he seemed to forget her kindness from the nights before, giving her his typical rude greeting, but as soon as she gave him a cheesy pizza or a spicy pepper he became sweet again. Stella thought it was odd, for sure, but she didn’t think much of it. At least she felt like she was finally befriending _everyone_ in Stardew Valley. It felt good not to have any enemies. Shane was nice enough when he was drunk. And it meant she could better focus her attentions on Sebastian.

And by gum. She had finally done it.

She sat in her kitchen, grinning stupidly at the frozen tear sitting on the table in her tiny cabin.

She was covered in dirt, a little scratched up from some scuffles with bats and little slime creatures that littered the mines. She was hungry as hell, but she did it.

“Finally,” She said, “Finally with this-“ She snatched up the frozen tear in her thumb and forefinger, grinning like she were mad, “I will win Sebastian’s heart!”

She shouted so loudly her cat, Balou, woke with a start and scurried under the bed.

“Sorry Balou.” She said half-heartedly, dropping the frozen tear into her backpack, “But I’ve got a heart to win!”

She was practically skipping down the path toward the Cindersnap Forest on her way to the saloon, and as she did she merrily dreamed of the look on Sebastian’s face when he saw the frozen tear:

_“Oh wow Stella, how’d you know this was my favorite?”_

_“Oh, is it?”_ She would say, all coy and innocent-like, _“I didn’t know.”_

_“It’s beautiful. Just like you.”_

_“So what will we name our babies?”_ She’d want to ask him next. Of course it would be a joke. But only kind of a joke.

 _“These frozen tears…”_ The imaginary Sebastian wiped an actual tear from his eye, _“Like the tears in my soul. Will you be the one, farmer? To save me from this darkness?”_

She knew that last thought was completely unrealistic, but oh how she longed for Sebastian to open his heart to her. How she longed to be his light in the darkness, the helping hand reaching into the abyss of sadness, the one to melt his frozen tears-

“Alright, alright.” Stella muttered to herself, “Calm down Stella, you’re getting a little _too_ cheesy.”

She paused as she skipped past the pond when she noticed a dark figure sitting out on the dock, illuminated only by a dim yellow lantern and some fireflies. The glowing bugs danced around the hunched form of a man, who sat with his feet dipped in the water.

After having such a rough time in the mines, her first inclination was to reach for her dagger. But upon further observation, she noticed that the man looked relaxed, slowly moving his legs back and forth in the water, creating ripples that shimmered in the moonlight. The situation was not posing any threat. Actually, whoever it was, they looked tranquil.

Do I investigate? She wondered.

Why bother. It was time to give Sebastian this damn frozen tear already so her love story could finally begin.

But-

Stella sighed, knowing she should investigate. There was so much to discover in Stardew Valley, like those weird little sprites she found in the community center, the strange little artifacts she kept digging up from the ground, secret passages, underground lairs... Stella had by now learned that when an opportunity presented itself, it was best not to turn away.

She walked out onto the dock. The boards creaked below her feet, so there was no way that she could be sneaking up on the man, but he didn’t seem to notice her. He instead leaned back and took a drink from something. Stella noticed the stacks of cans...

“Shane?” She asked.

He turned around, and sure enough, it was Shane.

Stella found it a bit odd that he wasn’t at the saloon. She waited for him to give her his typical rude greeting, but he did not. Instead he turned back toward the pond and scooted over a bit, giving her a space to sit down.

Oddly welcoming. Stella assumed that meant he had a bit to drink already.

She nervously took a seat next to him. Shane was leaning with his elbows on his knees, a can of beer dangling precariously from his fingers. His barefeet gently swayed in the water, agitating some kind of plant or animal that glowed a beautiful phosphorescent green.

“Up late, huh?” He said, breaking the silence, “Here,” He passed her a can, “Have a cold one.”

Stella looked at the can warily. Despite being the alcohol distributor for Joja, she was known for avoiding the stuff. Coworkers would nod in understanding, mentioning how strong the stuff was, and gossiping about how wasted so-and-so got at the last work party. Stella told everyone she wanted nothing to do with it.

Shane gulped down the can in his hand. He crushed it, and, with no hesitation, grabbed another. It popped open with that characteristic Joja snap and hiss that she was so familiar with. He took a couple of swigs from the new one before returning to his gloomy position.

For the first time in a long time, Stella allowed herself to just sit in the silence.

Shane stopped moving his legs and the pond and glowing creatures within settled, returning the water to its deep darkness.

“Buhh…” He groaned, “Life.”

He took a sip. Another pregnant silence.  
  
He spoke again, “You ever feel like… no matter what you do, you’re gonna fail? Like… You’re stuck in some miserable abyss and you’re so deep you can’t even see the light of day.”

Stella thought about this, and she realized that despite all of the challenges she had endured since moving here - the struggle of finding a frozen tear, clearing out the farm, planting and growing crop, having to build everything from scratch - despite all of this hard work, she was never afraid of failure. Even if she didn’t find the frozen tear, or finish clearing her farm… Even if some nasty crows made off with her crop, she was still always progressing forward. The rocks and ores she collected in her search for the frozen tear could be used to build something new, the wood, likewise, she collected while clearing the farm could be used too. The crows were annoying, but she knew some crop would always make it to harvest...

She hadn’t even noticed that she was no longer so fearful. When she had worked at Joja the fear of failure was a normal part of her daily life.

_Will I meet my quotas?_

_Will they dock my pay?_

Stella remembered sitting deep in the offices of Joja Corp. No windows. No sound but typing. So lost… So lonely… So hopeless.

Shane leaned his head back, staring up at the sky, “I just feel like, no matter how hard I try… I’m not strong enough to climb out of that hole.”

She remembered that feeling… And it was scary.

She remembered her terrible secret. What no one knew. How she’d hide a can or two of Joja Beer in her desk so that every now and then, when the fear became too overwhelming, she’d pull open the drawer, secretly grab a can and-

Stella cracked open her beer. She threw her head back and slurped it down. It was cold and the fizz was cruel against her throat, but she knew that if she drank it fast and hard the dark feeling would go away before it could settle in.

Shane watched her with surprise as she slurped down the entire can in a less than a minute. By the time the can left her lips her head was already spinning. The pond water swirled around below her, and Stella wasn’t sure how many ripples she was seeing were real.

Shane actually smiled a little, “Fast drinker, huh?”

He looked back into the water and began swishing his legs again, causing the water to gently glow, “Woman after my own heart.”

Stella’s heart skipped.

Shane pulled his jacket tight around himself, as if he were somehow cold on this balmy summer night, “Just don’t make it a habit…” He warned her with the hint of a slur, “You got a future ahead of you still.”

Stella felt her cheeks flush; was that… a compliment? Did he really think that of her?

Shane put his hand to his gut and groaned as if he were in pain, “Ugh… My liver’s begging me to quit.”

He turned to the pile of empty cans next to them and clumsily scooped them up, “Better call it a night.”

With empty cans in hand he sauntered down the dock, “See you.”

Stella sat there, her head swimming, the world spinning.

What the hell just happened?

That was when she noticed he left a few unopened cans behind...

\--------

“Huh.”

Drying a glass at the Stardrop Saloon, Emily looked at the clock quizzically, “It’s almost midnight. Wouldn’t Stella be here by now?”

As soon as the words left her mouth, Stella burst in, looking a little scrappy and disheveled but wearing a silly grin.

“Stella!” Gus greeted her warmly, “Emily was just asking about you.”

But Stella ignored them. She marched with determination toward the pool table where Sebastian, Abigail, and Sam were playing their game.

Sam, of course, spotted her first, "Hey! If it isn’t farmer Stella-aaah!!”

He gasped as Stella dumped the contents of her backpack on the pool table, sending the pool balls flying. Rocks, gems, granola bars, raw fibers, bunches of clay, wild seeds and other odds and ends dumped out onto the table, but most important-

Stella climbed onto the table and snatched up the frozen tear. She crawled over to Sebastian and shoved it into his face, grinning like a mad woman, “Here! Here it is!! A frozen tear!”

Sebastian was horrified. Everyone at the saloon looked at her in complete shock. Then she passed out, falling off the table in a drunken heap.

\---------

She woke up in a bed in the town infirmary the next morning feeling like she had been hit by a train. The morning light was blinding. Her mouth tasted like battery acid and her stomach felt like a fish bowl. She groaned, rolling over in bed, then jumped when she realized she wasn't the only one in the room.

Harvey, the town doctor, was standing over here. He was already dressed in his moss colored suit jacket and iconic copper tie that somehow perfectly matched his hair, which was tidily combed into an attractive side part. He was far too awake for her liking.

Eyes glittering behind his spectacles, he said bright eyed and bushy tailed, “Oh good! You’re awake.” Stella observed that his handlebar mustache made his smile look more goofy than it already was.

“What happened?” She groaned, rubbing her head where she found a sizeable lump.

Harvey chuckled, “You... uh… took a bit of a fall.”

Stella slowly began to remember the events of last night; climbing onto the pool table, shoving the frozen tear in Sebastian’s face, “Oh no.”

“You’ll be okay.” Harvey reassured her, “Just drink plenty of water and maybe keep an icepack on that bump on your head.”

“I’ll be okay?” She asked in disbelief.

Sure, maybe physically, but she remembered the look of terror on Sebastian’s face as she frantically thrusted the frozen tear into his face. No. She would not be "okay". She had just ruined it with Sebastian!

“Ugggh…” She moaned.

Later Stella stumbled home feeling embarrassed and supremely hungover. She had beers at Gus’s saloon all the time! Could she be that much a lightweight? No. It was the Joja beer… She had forgotten how strong it was. Couple that with the fact that she had skipped breakfast, lunch, and dinner to work in the mines all day.

What an idiot she had been. She should have never accepted a Joja Beer from Shane! Especially not with the history she had sneaking drinks from her desk during her days at Joja. That was actually how she had found her grandfather’s letter – opening the drawer to grab a can when she noticed the abandoned letter sitting inside.

She refused to be sucked in again. That was the last time she would ever accept a drink from Shane!

…

Shane… She had almost forgotten. She had almost forgotten everything he had said…

_“Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, you’re gonna fail…” “…a miserable abyss…” “I’m not strong enough…” “Don’t make it a habit.” “My liver’s beggin me to quit.”_

Her chest was tight, thinking about Shane. How rude he was and yet how unbelievably kind. How sad he looked gazing into the water. Was he hungover now too? He had so much more than she did...

Her wristwatch said it was 10 am. Was he working now?

“Gosh Shane…” She whispered quietly.

Maybe she would visit him today.

\----------

When she got home, she noticed that there was mail waiting for her. She grumbled, swatting a small spider away before pulling out the letters. A bill from Harvey’s, no surprise there. But there was also a package.

From Sebastian.

Stella rushed inside and nearly fell over herself scrambling to open the letter attached to the package. It was written in a lovely swirling cursive font – of course he would write like an artist:

_Nice stunt last night. Made this this morning and thought to share some with you, but I guess you’re still at Harvey’s. Hope it helps you feel better!_

_P.S. Thanks for the frozen tear. ;)_

The letter was taped to a small cool box with a fresh set of sashimi waiting inside. But honestly, it didn’t matter what was inside. Stella was just ecstatic. It worked! Her plan had worked! She forgot about Shane as she quickly began planning about the next way she would woo Sebastian.


	3. Pink Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane is struggling with his feelings toward Stella, and as a result she has a way of getting under his skin and convincing him to do things he would never do normally... Could it be for the better?

Summer turned to fall, and Stella’s “love story” (at least, as far as she was concerned) had finally started. While frozen tears were still a rare find, Stella was deep enough in the mines to find them regularly enough to gift to her idol, Sebastian. And slowly, yet surely, she was chipping away at him.

“Hey.” He said with a smile, greeting Stella as he entered the saloon.

Stella was surprised, “You’re here early!”

“Yeah.” Sebastian took a stool next to her, “Thought I’d come a little early to say hi before Friday night pool.”

Stella tried not to show how flattered she was that he came early to see her. Emily noticed her blush though and gave her an approving wink.

Sebastian dragged over an ashtray and lit a cigarette. Stella had learned that smoking was a habit of his, one he wasn’t proud of, and one that she enjoyed teasing him about, “I thought you were trying to quit.” She said.

He took a deep drag before exhaling a long string of smoke. A bad habit, sure, but one that made him look damn hot…

He smiled at her, “Maybe tomorrow.” 

It had become an inside joke between them. _“You should quit.”_ She would say. _“Maybe tomorrow.”_ He would respond.

_They already had inside jokes._

“Or you could quit now.” Shane grumbled from his usual corner at the end of the bar, eyes already bloodshot, “Don’t you know it’s rude to smoke indoors?”

“Sorry.” Sebastian said coolly, “I’ll put it out if you like?”

“Doesn’t matter now.” Shane waved his hands around dramatically, “The place is full of smoke!”

“Don’t mind him.” Stella told Sebastian, loud enough for Shane to hear, “He just looks for reasons to be rude.”

Shane grumbled something under his breath before returning to his drink. Once again, Stella wondered what happened to the Shane she met out on the dock? He opened his heart to her and then the next time she saw him he didn’t seem to remember anything. Did all of that happen while he was black out?

She told Sebastian quietly so Shane wouldn’t hear, “He lightens up if you stay long enough.” Sebastian just shrugged, apathetic. She thought it was so cool how unbothered he was; she wished that she could be more like that.

Gus from behind the counter joined the conversation while drying off some mugs, “So, did you all enjoy the Spirit’s Eve festival yesterday?”

Stella lit up, “Yes! It was so enchanting!”

Even Sebastian nodded in agreement, “That festival isn’t so bad, huh?”

Of course he’d enjoy such a spooky occasion, Stella thought, her heart fluttering about like a bird.

“Well, more importantly.” Gus carried on, “Winter is right around the corner. Have you finally figured out what you’re going to do, Stella?”

She groaned, “I really should have thought about it earlier… I have no idea what I can do, aside from toughing it out in the mines every day.”

“Hmmm…” Sebastian tilted his head, thinking. Stella couldn’t help but notice the graceful way in which he held the burning cigarette between his fingers, “Aren’t their like… winter crops?”

Stella shook her head, “Not that are sold here.”

Gus frowned, “Wasn’t there a greenhouse on that farm?”

Stella shrugged, “Haven’t had the chance to fix it up yet…”

She thought it best not to mention the odd little 'juminos' bopping around the community center who had promised to fix it for her.

“Sorry, farmer,” Sebastian shook his head, “I don’t know much about the land,” He took another sultry drag that made Stella’s heart melt, “My work is in computers.”

“Oh!” Emily suddenly popped up from below the counter like a jack in the box, “You can come over and I can teach you how to sew!”

“That’s nice of you to offer, Emily.” Stella smiled apologetically, “But I don’t have money to be spending on nice fabrics… I need something that can sustain me through the winter.”

Shane suddenly blurted out, “Chickens.” 

They all looked at him, a little surprised that he had suddenly joined in on the conversation.

“Come again?” Stella asked.

“Chickens.” He repeated.

“Chickens? You mean like… Buy and raise some chickens?”

“Yes." Shane spat, "What else would you do with chickens?” 

She ignored his rudeness and instead pondered on it, “Huh… That’s a good point. I’ve been thinking about raising chickens. I could ask Robin to build me a coop.”

“Chickens never stop laying.” Shane added, shifting in his seat, “And eggs sell for a good price, double that if you know how to make mayonnaise.”

“Yeah! Wow, Shane! That’s a great idea!” She beamed, “Thank you!”

She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol but Shane’s cheeks flushed. He sunk into his seat a little, as if he were trying to hide from the conversation.

“Whatever.” He replied, looking away, nursing his beer.

The door to the saloon creaked open and Abigail and Sam entered, and Sam pointed at Sebastian, “Tonight’s the night! I can feel it! The night I finally wipe the floor with you!!”

Sebastian gave him a smug look. Stella swooned. Sebastian always won pool. Stella was 100% convinced he was good at anything he tried to do.

Sebastian put out his cigarette and got up from his chair, “Looks like time’s up, farmer.” But then he leaned his elbow on the bar next to her. “By the way-” She could feel the warmth of his sweater, could just faintly smell whatever body spray he was using, the scent of menthol smoke… She hoped she wasn’t blushing too hard. “-Don’t forget to put your name in for the Feast of the Winter Star secret gift-giving event.” He said.

“Huh?” Stella didn’t know what he was talking about.

Emily chimed in, “Every year we celebrate the Feast of the Winter Star with a secret-gift giving. Everyone in Pelican Town participates!”

“Not everyone.” Shane grumbled, but nobody heard him.

Gus carried on explaining: “A week before the event, Mayor Lewis will send you the name of your secret recipient in the mail.”

“Oh!” Stella said, “We used to do something like that at Joja Corp. The gifts kind of sucked though.”

“Well…” Sebastian's voice was so low and alluring voice, “I’ll bet your gift this year will be a lot better,” He winked.

Was he trying to be flirtatious? Because if he was, it was working.

“Later, farmer.” He said, leaving her to melt into a puddle all over the bar floor.

\----------------

And Shane was there to watch it all in absolute disgust.

 _Why Sebastian?_ Shane thought bitterly, _Of all people?_ Sebastian was quite possibly the only other person in town who felt as bitter about the world as he did – well, except for maybe George, but George was a crotchety old man with a few screws loose anyway. Sure Shane would never have a conversation with Sebastian but at least the guy was among the more tolerable of the villagers... Until now! Now that damn farmer with her cheerful ways was even turning the town goth into some kind of cheesy good-for-nothing sap!!

 _Not me._ Shane thought vindictively, _she will NOT get to me. Not over my dead-_

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Stella suddenly chirped, looking directly at him.

Caught off guard, Shane almost choked on the beer in his throat.

“Catch!” She slid a heaping mug across the counter toward him.

Shane dropped the can in his hands as he fumbled to catch the mug before it slid off the counter and crashed onto the floor. What little drink remained in the can spilled all over his lap.

“Augh!!” He gasped, looking at the mess on his jeans, “For fuck’s sake! What was that for!?”

But Stella just stuck out her tongue as she headed toward the door, “That one’s on me, Shane, Good night!”

He gripped the mug in his fists so hard his knuckles turned white. Emily and Gus chuckled- did they think she was being cute!? Why did she have to be so cheerful? Why did she have to buy him things all the time? Why did she have to be so- so-

Shane angrily grabbed the mug and furiously chugged it down.

Why did he have to be so in love with her?

\-------------

Shane never really “woke up” these days. He more or less “came to”, greeting each day with a throbbing headache, a dry mouth, and a sick feeling in his stomach. He groaned and asked himself his usual question; _how much did I drink last night…?_

He swiveled his head to the trash can next to his bed. No puke. That was a good sign. He shuffled his legs around the bedsheets. Dry. Also a good sign. He slowly sat up and gripped his throbbing head and fumbled around for some Joja brand ibuprofen. He threw on a robe to make himself somewhat presentable and shuffled out to the kitchen.

Why was it so damn bright? He was so blinded, he didn’t notice Marnie standing there:

“You’re up late.”

“Hm.” He grunted in response, rubbing his eyes until he could see better.

Jas was already dressed in her favorite pink dress, her pretty hair pulled up into pig-tails, tawny cheeks tickled pink. Swinging her legs at the kitchen table, she was coloring pictures with a big fat pink crayon. Marnie stood with a coffee by the refrigerator, looking concerned. She was a big woman, big from years of handling large cattle and their equally hefty supplies. Her skin was becoming less peach and more gray. Her hair too was looking less auburn and more salt and pepper these days- she was getting older, but still dressed in her tacky high school sweaters and jeans. Totally outdated.

“Something wrong?” Shane asked.

Marnie looked to Jas, leaned over and said, “Honey, could you do your Aunt Marnie a big favor and feed the chickens this morning?”

Jas lit up, excited at the opportunity, “Okay!” She put down her crayon and skipped out the door. Marnie returned her attention to Shane.

Why did he feel like he was in trouble?

“You left your jeans in the laundry bin this morning.” She said.

Oops.

To keep her from worrying, Shane was very careful about Marnie coming across any of his filthy clothes… Though that usually meant he kept them in a big old pile in his room and did nothing about them.

“They reeked of beer.” She said.

Shane rolled his eyes, “That was _not_ my fault.”

“Was it not?” Her brow furrowed, "You go out to the saloon so much… I’ve started hearing rumors, Shane.”

“Well, that’s all they are, rumors.” He lied, too cowardly to look her in the eye, “Everyone ‘round town is such a gossip.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No.” He knew he could stop drinking if he wanted to… Right?

_…Right?_

“What about Jas? What if she came into your room and found something-“

“I do not drink at home.” He said sternly. This time he wasn’t afraid to look her in the eye.

“You promise?” She asked.

“I promise.” He told her, and he meant it.

That seemed to give her some relief.

She put down her mug, “Okay, well Jas still needs her breakfast and I need to man the shop. And you are her godfather-“

From down the hall they could both hear the bell on the front door of the shop ringing, signaling a customer.

Shane swished his hand at her, shooing her away, “I can take care of it.”

Marnie scurried off to mind the shop and Shane grabbed a pan and some fresh eggs just as Jas returned from the coop. She saw that Shane was cooking and crinkled her nose, “You’re not going to put any hot stuff in my breakfast, are you?”

“Oh no, of course not.” He gave her a devilish look, “Oh, except for some ghost peppers.”

Her eyes went wide, “Ghost peppers?” 

“So hot,” He waggled his fingers in a spooky fashion, “They turn you into a GHOST!”

Jas frowned, “That’s not real.”

Shane shrugged, “Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

In no time he had fried up two eggs, some mushroom and tomato, along with two slices of toast. He couldn't help adding a delicious helping of cheese on top (fresh from Marnie's cows). At the end he pretended to sprinkle hot chili flakes over the top. He plated the food then turned around saying, “Alright, Jas, prepare to meet your DOOOM-“ He stopped short when he saw Stella standing right there, in his house, in his kitchen doorway.

She chuckled, “Go on! I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“What are you doing here?” He tried sounding rude enough to scare her off without Jas picking up on his tone.

Stella raised a brow, “Wasn’t it _you_ who suggested I get chickens?”

“Do you even have a coop yet?”

“Just asked Robin to build me one.” Stella leaned against the door frame, getting too comfortable, “Should be done by the end of the week. Came in to ask Marnie to order in some chicks for me and thought I’d pop in and say hi.”

“Hi.” Shane said flatly.

He gave Jas her plate of eggs, “Who is that, Shane-daddy?” she asked.

Stella raised a brow and looked between Jas and him, “Shane-daddy?”

Shane quickly clarified, “Godfather.” Then realized the connotations, what with him getting shitfaced at the saloon every night and acting like a generally awful person, “-In name only. Aunt Marnie is really the one who takes care of her.”

Jas piped up, “Shane is sick a lot so Aunt Marnie takes care of me.”

Shane blushed with embarrassment. Of course it was a lie, he wasn’t _sick_ a lot. He was _hungover_ a lot – even now. And he knew that Stella knew it too. He looked at Stella nervously, knowing that she could call him out, let Jas know what he really was.

But she just smiled softly, “Well, let’s hope Shane-daddy gets better soon.”

Shane’s stomach did flips, which was doing nothing to help the nausea. He was going to be truly sick soon if she didn’t leave.

Stella nodded at the breakfast, “Smells good, Shane, I didn’t know you could be so domestic.”

“What’s _domestic_?” Jas asked between bites of her egg.

Shane's mouth went dry, “It’s-…” He scrambled to find the right words.

“It means I think he’s a good father.” Stella offered.

Shane just stared at her; _how could she even say that?_

He hated her. He loved her. His stomach was sick. His heart was warm. He wanted her to leave. He wanted her to compliment him all day. The conflicting feelings were doing nothing to help his hangover. He wanted to run back to Joja where his crate of beer was waiting for him and just-

_~“Should I be worried?”~_

It was hardly even 10 am, and already the desire to drink was creeping in. 

Jas looked between Stella and Shane, “I have to go now…” She said softly to Shane, clearly shy about Stella standing in the way.

Shane gently took her hand, “I’ll walk you.” He reassured her, before giving Stella a look that suggested she ought to go.

Stella put up her hands in surrender, “Sorry. I’ll stop bothering you now.” She turned to leave then stopped, “Oh! Before I go!”

Shane rubbed his throbbing head, “What?” He asked a little too harshly.

“You’re putting your name in for the secret gift-giving event, at the Feast of the Winter Star?”

He opened his mouth to say how he would absolutely not be entering his name in, but before he could she smiled and said, “I hope you do. If I got your name I would get you something more special than pizza or chili pepper.”

Speechless. He was once again speechless. She seemed to take pleasure in throwing him off like that. She grinned before disappearing down the hall.

The mention of the Feast of the Winter Star set Jas off: “Ms. Penny always puts our names in.” Jas told him, “Last year I got a big plush bear- and the year before that I got a-“

But Shane was lost in thought. Should he be that surprised? Stella was constantly giving him things. But did she really want for him to be her secret recipient? Was she really interested in giving him something... special?

\--------------

He was an idiot. Possessed by who-knows-what, in the days following Stella’s visit to his home Shane had submitted his name into the secret gift giving event. The first time he had participated since he was thirteen years old.

Well, today they had received their names and honestly, what did he expect? He got Mayor Lewis.

Mayor-fucking-Lewis.

Not that Shane had a particular beef against the guy… But he knew that Marnie and Lewis had a secret tryst and, well, _it kind of made things a little bit awkward_. And, again, what did he expect? That’s what this stupid event always turned out to be anyway- awkward.

So now here he was, stuck at work restocking the shelves at Joja Mart while also racking his brains over what he was going to get for Mayor Lewis?

Like a dark shadow, his manager, Morris, slithered up to him. The man was always impeccably dressed in a suit with a bowtie, like some kind of old timey salesman, his dark hair shining from greasy thick gel. Morris always stood uncomfortably close when they talked.

Shane tossed the box in his hands onto the shelf before turning to his boss, “What can I do for you?” He asked, trying not to sound too annoyed.

“Oh nothing.” Morris said, feigning nonchalance, “I just noticed, you haven’t touched your crate of Joja Beer this month?”

Shane felt like this was an inappropriate thing to be talking about with his boss, “Yeah, I’ve been drinking sparkling water instead.”

“Oh?” Morris raised a brow, “Trying to cut back?”

Shane shrugged, “The sparkling water is cheaper.” He said simply.

The truth was that he was trying to prove to himself that he could go a month without drinking, but he was not about to divulge his personal life to his boss.

“Hmm.” Morris nodded, “That’s true, isn’t it. Sparkling water is quite cheap!”

 _Of course you know it’s true._ Shane thought bitterly. He was sure that Morris had already noticed long before today.

“Well anyway,” Morris said moving past, “At least you’re work performance won’t suffer drinking water.” He chuckled.

_Work performance. Is that all I’m worth?_

Shane tried to shake off the thought, knowing where it could lead him. He instead focused on restocking the shelves and started thinking about the Feast of the Winter Star again. He wondered who his secret-gift-giver was. Was it Stella?

_~“If I got your name I can get you something more special than a pizza or a chili pepper.”~_

His heart warmed at the thought, and he almost smiled in spite of himself. But it felt wrong… She was in love with Sebastian.

He hadn’t seen her much since that day in the kitchen, now that he was avoiding the Stardrop Saloon. He heard from Marnie that the chickens arrived and they were doing well. He also saw her compete at the Festival of Ice. He couldn’t help but notice her strong arms as she reeled in fish after countless fish. It was impressive. She even outpaced old Willy the fisherman himself.

“Hey.”

Think of the god damn devil.

He nearly dropped the jars of pickles in his hands, “Stella?”

She smiled that friendly smile that made his knees weak, but she also looked a little anxious, fiddling with that loose button on her overalls like she did when she was nervous, “I swore I’d never step foot in a Joja ever again… But I thought I’d find you here.”

His heart fluttered; no one ever came to visit him. And to think that she came in here, knowing how much she hated Joja, _just_ to see him.

“I’m working.” He turned away from her to continue stacking the shelves and instantly regretted it, cursing himself for being so shy.

Thankfully, she was as persistent as usual, “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be bothering you. You haven’t been at the Stardrop lately, so I thought to come here.”

“Yeah. I’m trying to cut back on... Y’know.”

He wasn’t even looking at her, but he could feel her whole demeanor brighten, “Really? Good for you!”

 _I’m not a child._ He wanted to say, but thought better of it. He continued stacking the shelves, pretending to ignore her, “Just come here to say hi? Or do you need a recommendations on our winter sales?” He asked sarcastically.

She chuckled at the joke; he struggled to hold back a smile.

“No, actually, I received my secret gift recipient today.”

Shane’s heart skipped, “Oh?” He asked, trying to act casual.

Was it him? Is that why she was here?

“I know it’s supposed to be a secret, but I got Jas.”

Now she had his full attention. He stopped restocking and turned to face her. She had a hopeful look, “Do you think you could help me?”

She had trapped him. Of course he had to say yes. He had no excuse to escape from conversation with her.

He sighed, “Can you cook?”

She nodded, “I’m learning.”

“Bake?”

She shook her head.

He folded his arms, “This is for Jas. It has to be perfect.”

“Should I bake something? Since I'm here, how about today you help me get the ingredients, and then the night before you come over to my place and help me make it?”

That was not where he saw this going. There was no way to hide his surprise; “You-You want me to come… to come over?” He stammered, feeling like a fool.

“Oh, c’mon Shane. Would it kill ya?”

\----------

Not many days later Shane found himself standing at the door to Stella’s small log cabin, daring himself to knock.

It was twilight, with clouds rolling in from off the coast, threatening more snow. He pulled a flask from his jacket pocket and took a big sip of hard liquor. Sure, he said he was cutting back, but this was an exception. He needed something to settle his nerves. So before leaving work he downed a couple of beers from his 'special crate' and snuck some whiskey into a flask to take with him. _Just in case._

It wasn’t enough to get plastered, just enough to take the edge off. At least, that’s what he was telling himself to justify it. And it seemed to be working well enough.

He popped a mint to keep the smell of alcohol off his breath, then rapped his knuckles against the rickety door. It flew open before he even finished knocking, and a rosey cheeked Stella beamed back at him, “You’re actually here! Come in, come in!”

The cabin was small but cozy. There was a TV, a small table with only two chairs, and a festive little tree. In the kitchen Stella had laid out the ingredients they had bought together. To his right was the entrance to another room, where he could see the glow from a fire which warmed the whole cabin. A cat was curled up on the ground, snoozing. Outside it began to sleet, ice and snow pattering against the windows

Stella huffed as she helped him take off his coat, “Rain, again?” She muttered, “Shouldn’t it be snowing?”

“It will turn to snow.” Shane explained, “Later tonight, when it gets colder.”

To his left he noticed some pots growing herbs and even chili pepper.

_So that’s where she keeps getting them…_

He could smell pizza cooking in the oven. Stella put on some mitts, “Told you I’d pay you in pizza.” She winked.

_She made pizza for me?_

She pulled a steamy, cheesy pizza from the oven and Shane thought he might faint. A strange feeling was filling his chest. He almost felt… happy.

“The oven’s hot and ready.” Stella said, “What should I set the temperature to for this cake?”

“345.”

She made the adjustment to the temperature, then turned to him, “Ready!” Then paused, “No… Wait.”

She dug around a crate next to the fridge and pulled out two aprons. She tossed one at him – it was covered in red and pink hearts.

He gave her a sour look, “You do not expect me to wear this.”

She laughed, “I’ve been trying to picture you in it all day. Please, Shane, for me?”

“No.”

She pulled a red pepper from her pocket, “How about for a spicy hot pepper?”

He folded his arms, “I’m not a dog. I won’t do what you command for treats.”

“Shoot.” She shrugged, “Was hoping that might work.”

She shoved it into her mouth in one go and he had to admit, he was surprised that the heat didn’t seem to phase her, “Mmmmm…” She sighed with pleasure, “So spicey~ so juicy~ so-“

“Alright, alright.” Shane snatched the apron, “As long as it means you’ll stop bothering me about it.”

Really, he was afraid of how he might react if she kept sighing and moaning like that.

Once the apron was on she grinned, “You look cuter than I imagined.”

Shane rolled his eyes, “Let’s start cooking before you make me sick.”

“Sorry, I just like winding you up.” She teased.

“I noticed.” He grumbled.

But, truthfully, he enjoyed it too.

\-------------

“You really do suck at cooking.”

“Hey!” Stella snapped, “What about the pizza? That turned out okay!”

It did. But Shane was frankly not entirely sure how, given how terrible she was with making this cake. They had mixed together the ingredients, and she wasn’t really stirring the mix so much as mashing it with the spatula.

“Good grief.” Shane rubbed his face, “It’s painful to watch.”

He took the bowl and rubber spatula from her and demonstrated, “Like this. I’m folding it, not mashing it,” He handed it back.

“Like this?”

She began abusing the cake batter again.S squeezed the bridge of his nose, “It’s a wonder how you’ve survived this long.”

“Okay.” She turned her back to him and placed the bowl on the counter, “You take my hands and guide me.”

Shane felt his cheeks flush. He slowly walked up behind her, anticipating her to tell him to back off. But she didn’t. She just stood there waiting for him to take her arms. He was close enough to smell her hair; Cindersnap pine and maple syrup. He could feel her body heat...

 _Just. Don’t think about it._ He thought.

He gently took her hands and realized this was the first time he had ever touched her. He felt the marks of cuts, callouses, and other scrapes from her work on the farm and in the mines. Her arms against his, he could just feel the firmness of her muscle. For someone so nice, she had one hell of a tough exterior.

And he loved her for it.

She sniffed the air, “You smell minty.”

Shane felt a surge of fear – did she figure it out?

“Is that gum?” She asked, “Got any for me?”

“Maybe.” He said, feeling some relief, “If you get this cake together in one piece.”

He slowly began guiding her hands, swirling the spatula around the bowl, demonstrating how to gently glide it along the rim, scooping up the luscious chocolaty batter before folding it back on itself. It was almost sensuous. Shane felt like he was becoming lost in the feeling… It was like being drunk.

“Okay.” Stella hummed with a nod, “I see.”

She gently pulled her hands away and, finally, began treating the batter appropriately.

Shane’s breath had become heavy, but she didn’t seem to be at all affected by what, to him, was a very intimate moment. She stirred up the batter, looking more confident in her skill, “Alright, we’re ready to pour!”

As she turned away to pour the batter into the tins, Shane hastily pulled out his flask and took a couple of gulps, hoping to calm his nerves. The alcohol burned his throat and loosened his senses some. The tightness in his chest gave way.

He quickly shoved it back into his pocket as Stella closed the oven and wiped her hands in triumph, “Alright! That was pretty successful!”

“Not unless you burn it.” Shane grumbled.

“It’s getting late, you should be heading out.” She said, “I can take it from here.”

And then, suddenly, she came right up to him. Shane’s stomach did back flips as she reached out and tugged on the apron, “You can take this off now.” She winked.

 _Don’t lose your cool._ Shane thought to himself.

As casually and coolly as he could, he took off the apron and handed it back to her.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He said, trying to banish the dirty thoughts, “Make sure to keep that in the fridge over night before decorating it tomorrow.”

He took his jacket which was tossed over the back of one of her chairs, “Let’s hope your decorating skills are better than your baking skills…”

“Did you figure out what to get Mayor Lewis?” She asked.

He frowned, “How did you know I got Mayor Lewis?”

“Sebastian. Mayor Lewis commissioned him to make a software program that matched all of us up this year. I couldn't help but ask!"

“Isn’t that cheating?”

Stella chuckled, “I guess? I only asked about you though, I don’t know who anyone else got.”

“You... wanted to know who I got?”

“I figured you’d need some help picking out a gift for someone.”

She wasn’t wrong there.

Stella walked over to the pepper plant and plucked off a bunch before shoving them into a bag, “Believe it or not, but he’s a fan of peppers too. He'd love a fresh bunch.”

Shane had no idea… He and the old man had something in common?

She handed the bag to him, “Try to hold yourself back. We both know how you are with self control,” She teased.

“Ha ha.” He shoved the peppers in his jacket pocket before heading for the door.

“By the way, Shane.”

He looked back at her, with his hand on the door knob.

“Sober looks good on you.”

\--------------

He felt guilty.

He walked down the path in the Cindersnap Forest back to Marnie's just as the sleet began turning to snow. The weight of his flask was heavy in his pocket.

_~“Sober looks good on you.”~_

She didn’t know he had been drinking the whole time! _Just to take the edge off…_ He kept telling himself. _Just a little bit._

Why couldn’t he just have a normal conversation like a normal person? Visit a friend’s house 100% sober like everything was totally normal?

As he passed the pond he grabbed the flask from his pocket and quickly, before he could change his mind, hurled it into the water. He was done. No more excuses. No more alcohol.

Not even a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :O !!! Will Shane be finished drinking for good? Well we all know that's not true. ;)  
> Thanks again for the read!  
> And I actually have a question - I was thinking of going back to chapter 2 and adding a few happy-drunk-Shane scenes to fill in some gaps in the timeline. To move the plot along, I mention that he's nice to Stella some nights once he's drunk enough but don't actually show it! It would not change the plot of the story at all, but would simply add some fun fluff in between.  
> So what do you think? Should I add it in or leave it be? Your thoughts would be appreciated :) <3


	4. The Void (Egg)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his better judgement, Shane is attending the Feast of the Winter Star... And things go pretty much exactly as he anticipated (horribly).

Shane remembered why he hated festivals. This one was especially unbearable. What with the gifts, the singing, the general atmosphere of goodwill and cheer. He swore he could hear the sound of children’s laughter permeating the air even though Jas and Vincent were the only two kids in town. He sat at his family's designated feasting table in the town square, shivering in the frigid outdoor winter air, wishing he could have a drink. The punch bowl at the table next to him looked particularly inviting...

He grabbed his bottle of sparkling water and took an angry gulp. Truthfully? He hated sparkling water, but at least it was there to slake his thirst. Its bland fizz in his throat like a punishment every time he thought of booze. Anxiously he waited for Mayor Lewis to call for the gift giving to start. After that, they would all have dinner and then, finally, he could go home. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself, wondering why in the world this festival was held outside in the dead of winter? There was snow everywhere and no amount of hot chocolate or warm cider could make him less cold. Jas sat next to him in a puffy purple coat looking just as uncomfortable as she scrutinized her gift for Penny; a box of fresh poppy seed buns Shane had helped her make that morning.

“I hope Ms. Penny likes it.”

Shane softened, “Of course she’ll like it. You said it was her favorite right?”

“What if I was wrong?”

“I’m sure she’ll still like it.”

Jas looked unconvinced, but Shane knew Penny was nice enough. Even if she hated it, she wouldn’t let Jas know that.

Another voice piped up from behind him: “Well if it isn’t the Grinch himself.”

He turned to find Stella approaching him. She was wearing the tackiest sweater he had ever seen over her trademark overalls; presents, string lights, ribbon, trumpets, and seasonal foods were stitched into the fabric in a terrible collage of color.

“You’re looking festive.” He said, feigning sarcasm, but actually he was happy to see her.

She gave him a twirl so he could see it all, “Emily made it for me! Isn’t it fantastic?”

“It looks like the Feast of the Winter Star barfed all over you.”

She grinned back at him, almost maniacally, “ _And that’s what makes it so great, right?”_

She was being cute. He almost laughed, but caught himself when Stella suddenly leaned close to him with a devilish grin; “Is that a smile, Shane?”

Was it? He quickly looked away.

“Don’t be shy, you dork.” She leaned even closer. Close enough that he could smell wine on her. He took a deep breath. _Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it._

She picked up the brown paper bag on the table in front of him, “Really?” She shook around the red peppers inside, “You couldn’t even bother to wrap it?”

“What?" Shane frowned, "You can’t see what it is. It will be a surprise.”

“Mercy, Shane.” Stella laughed, “And you were worried about _my_ decorating skills!”

Finally, a cheery looking Lewis took position in front of the giant decorated tree, the centerpiece of the festival. With his rosey cheeks, cherry button nose, white mustache, and plump belly held up by his trademark suspenders, Lewis almost resembled the jolly spirit of generosity and joy himself. With Marnie watching expectantly, Lewis rang a bell to get everyone’s attention, “Everyone! Everyone! The gift giving is about to start!”

“Gotta go!” Stella said quickly as she skittered over toward Robin’s table, where Sebastian was standing, serving up some roast duck.

Of course. Of course she’d come with his family.

Once everyone had settled, Mayor Lewis continued, “Before we start, I want to make absolutely clear that _everyone_ here has a secret-gift giver, however, not every gift giver and recipient could attend. If you do not receive a gift today, we promise that you will receive one in the mail. Now, may the gift giving begin!”

He rang the bell again and Marnie quickly scurried up to give Lewis a gift even though Shane knew full well that Lewis was _not_ her recipient. Whatever. It was nice to see her happy and he couldn’t really be angry about that. 

The villagers were all mingling together now. It was time for Shane to force himself interact with them. Jas and him both heaved a big sigh, then looked at each other.

Jas bowed her head bashfully, “I’m feeling shy.”

Shane stood up, “Me too. But we’ve got to do it. I’ll give my gift to Mayor Lewis then we’ll find Ms. Penny.”

Jas nodded. They both got up and wandered over to the twittering lovebirds.

Shane nodded his head in greeting, “Mayor Lewis.” 

“Shane!” Lewis smiled and grasped Shane’s hand in both of his, shaking it vigorously, “It’s such a pleasure to see you come out this year!”

He was so cheerful Shane felt he could gag. He tried his best to force a smile but was afraid it came out more like a grimace, “Here.” He said, handing Mayor Lewis the brown paper bag, “I’m your secret gift-giver…”

Lewis’s eyes twinkled with delight as he opened the brown paper bag, “Red hot chili peppers!” He gasped, “My favorite!”

Aunt Marnie looked to Shane thrilled, “Is it? That’s Shane’s favorite too!”

Shane knew she was trying to get him to warm up to idea of Lewis being part of the family, but Shane _really_ just _didn’t_ want to entertain the idea right now.

_Please just let this day end already._

He spotted Penny in the crowd and Jas called out to her, “Ms. Penny!” 

The pretty Penny turned and smiled upon seeing Jas, but stopped upon seeing Shane. They had grown up together here in Pelican Town. She was always shy and bookish, but attractive in a girl-next-door sort of way. Behind her, Shane could see Penny's mother, Pam, the only other drunkard in town, sloshing around a mug of something while emphatically telling a story to Sam, Vincent, and Jodi.

Jas ran up to her and Shane slowly followed behind, “Shane helped me make this for you.”

Penny smiled at Jas but, again, gave Shane a disapproving look, “He did?”

He knew Penny didn’t like him. Though could he blame her? Her mother was just as bad as he was. Penny was always so embarrassed by her mother's behavior. Determined to never be like her, Penny took a respectable job as a teacher. She grew out of her awkardness and became someone worthwhile. Gentle, friendly, and caring for her students. Whereas he was growing up to follow in her mother's footsteps. He looked to the ground, ashamed, wondering what terrible things she was thinking about him. How she must have hated that he was such a poor role model for Jas… Did Penny see herself in Jas? The little shy girl trapped under the roof with an alcoholic?

“Poppy seed muffins!” Penny gasped, “Jas! These are my favorite!”

Jas beamed, “They are!?” She said excitedly, looking back at Shane happily.

He started to feel sick. How much Jas loved him, and how much she shouldn’t.

Penny knelt down to Jas’s level and gave her a hug, “Thank you so much!” She pulled away and asked, “Have you received your gift yet?”

Jas shook her head, “No.”

Suddenly, someone threw their arm around Shane’s shoulders. He was about to shake them off but recognized Stella’s ugly sweater, “Well, she’s about to!”

Shane was sure his face was pink. Stella was so close to him again, and her arm felt so comfortable on his shoulders. The usually shy Jas was not at _all_ shy when it came to receiving presents. She squealed with delight as Stella handed over the gift they had made the night before.

They both watched as Jas excitedly tore the gift to find a pretty little cake inside.

“Hm.” Shane grunted, “Not bad decorating.”

Under her breath, Stella muttered, “If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say that was a compliment.” She gave him a playful punch.

Jas hopped around with her gift in delight, “Yay! Yay! Yay!”

Stella suddenly leaned in even closer to him, her hot breath in his ear as she whispered, “We did good, didn’t we?”

It was so parental, Shane felt his insides churning. His mouth was dry – so parched. How was he so parched? He had been drinking sparkling water all day.

“Received your gift yet, Shane?”

“No.” He looked around anxiously, "Have you?"  
  
"Not yet~" Stella sang, significantly less concerned than he was.

Who was his secret gift-giver? As he looked around, he noticed people looking at him. All with similar disapproval, disgust, concern, nervousness, shame, pity... The village fool. The town drunk. The valley's secret shame. Then, just to make things worse, Sebastian walked up to them. Stella took her arm off of Shane’s shoulder, surprised, as Sebastian held out a gift to her, “Happy Feasting.” He said in that smooth breathy voice.

The way that Stella’s eyes glittered, that _Sebastian_ was her secret-gift-giver! Shane felt like someone was gripping his heart in their fist, squeezing tight.

The gift was oddly long, and seemed to weigh heavy as Stella took it from his hands, “Sebastian.” She said in a dreamy voice, “But you organized this event?”

Sebastian put his hands in his pockets, looking cheeky, “Let’s just say it gave me the opportunity to rig it in my favor.”

_Of course it fucking did._

Stella unwrapped the gift to reveal a terrifying claymore. Shane was a bit taken aback but Stella held it aloft, her eyes glowing, “This is amazing!”

Of course. Of course she’d want a sword. He watched as she expertly tried her hand at it, pretending the tree behind them was some kind of beast, gracefully sweeping the large weapon through the air.

Sebastian laughed, “Be careful, you’ll take someone’s eye out.”

She turned around, all aglow, dropped the sword, and in one beautiful movement grasped Sebastian’s face and gave him a romantic, show-stopping kiss, right on the lips.

And with that Shane had seen enough.

He marched over to his table. He returned to his sparkling water and began to drink. But, of course, it wasn’t doing him any good.

Useless. Fizzy. Crap.

His heart was pounding. Despite the chill, he was sweating. He glanced around, hoping no one was looking. But of course no one was looking. They were all preoccupied with each other. Aunt Marnie with Lewis, Jas with Penny and Vincent. Stella with Sebastian. Pam with Sam and Jodi. Emily... Gus... Abigail…

They all had someone.

As always, he became a shadow in the corner. His eyes darted around, looking for that one person who was out of place. But as more and more people received their gifts, still, no one had given him anything.

Why did it even matter? He didn’t want a gift from anyone. It was clear that everyone in town hated him. Stella was the only person who would give him the time of day, but she was so enthralled by Sebastian that Shane might as well just be another name in the Stardew Valley directory.

He hated this stupid event. Was it possible Sebastian had rigged it against him? So that he wouldn't receive anything? As horrible as that was, it was even worse to think that he _did_ have a secret gift-giver who was too ashamed and embarrassed to bother giving him anything. Was it Penny? He hated her and her dirty looks. Pam? Too drunk to remember to give him a gift. Sam? Gus? Emily?

He hated them. He hated them all. He hated how Mayor Lewis was pretending to be friendly. He hated how lovingly Jas looked at him. He hated how he constantly failed to meet Marnie's expectations. He hated how much he loved Stella.

Out of habit, he grabbed the bottle on the table in front of him to wash down the prodding thoughts, but he nearly spit it out as soon as it entered his mouth. He forgot it was sparkling water.

_Stupid. Awful. Sparkling. Shit-ass. Water._

He put his head in his hands, wanting to die.

“Shane?” He looked up to find his Aunt Marnie, “Are you okay?” She asked gently.

He scowled, “Do I _look_ okay?” He growled.

She frowned, hurt, “Did I do something to upset you?”

His eyes darted around the tables. Within ten feet of him were two bottles of wine. A six-pack of beer. Countless liquors and mixers…

He shot up from the table, shoved his hands in his pockets and started home.

“Shane!?” Marnie called after him. But he ignored her.

\----------

He marched through the cold snow and empty trees. It was taking everything in his power not to turn back and grab that bottle of wine off the table. The whiskey. The beer. Even the thought of the vanilla extract on the dessert table with its pitiful alcohol content made his lips tingle.

He fantasized getting shitfaced and being the town drunk they all expected him to be. Who was he kidding that he could be something more?

When he got home he was surprised to see a large package sitting outside their door.

A gift?

There was an envelope sitting on top, printed with the Joja corporate logo. He opened it up to find a letter inside.

_Dearest Shane,_

_Surprise! I am your secret gift-giver. I apologize that I couldn’t make it to the festivities today, but I hope you enjoy your gift nonetheless. I remember you saying how expensive Joja Beer could be, so I decided to give you this month’s crate free! Don’t drink it all at once. ;)_

_Sincerely,_

_Morris Mortimer._

_\-----------_

Stella had to say that Feast of the Winter Star festival in Stardew Valley was one of the happiest days she had in a long time. She lay her new claymore against the stone fireplace before she nestled down into bed, thinking about Sebastian and their kiss in front of the tree.

His lips tasted like menthol smoke.

She grinned, licking her lips at the memory. She cut the light, hoping to be visited by the Spirit of the Winter Star.

Well, she was visited by _something,_ but it was no festive spirit. Instead, Stella was plagued with a terrible nightmare. In a dark room, Sebastian sat on a bed, his face glistening with twinkling tears that shined like crystals. He looked up at her, helpless, “Stella…” He crooned.

She approached him, gently taking his face in her hands, smelling his smokey lips, “I was so lonely…” He said, “Before I met you.”

They closed their eyes and shared a kiss, but when she pulled away he had changed. She was holding Shane, and the look on his face was one of abject terror. It was so shocking, she jumped away from him. Like Sebastian, tears poured from his eyes but they were stale yellow and reeked of poison. The room began filling, threatening to drown them both.

“Shane!” She gasped.

But he was drifting away from her.

She dove into the depths trying to get him before he drowned. But he disappeared, the vile liquid filling the room growing darker… darker…

In the darkness she heard the frightening sound of laughter. The room disappeared and Stella realized she was up in the sky above her home, looking down. A witch on a crooked broomstick flew down from the North, green skin and all, with a wild, evil look in her eye. She flew over top of Stella’s coop where her hens were roosting. The witch pointed a long, spindly finger directly at her pretty girls.

She woke with a start, “My hens!”

It was early morning, just before sunrise. It was deathly cold. Icicles like fingers dangled from the roof of the hen house, threatening to cut her. She burst inside and startled the poor girls. They flapped about and clucked at her angrily, but, thankfully, they appeared unharmed.

But… There was something there.

Stella’s blood ran cold. In the middle of the coop was an odd black little egg, speckled with red. Carefully, she approached it. She reached out her toe and poked it. To her shock it wriggled and growled like a goblin.

Stella yelped, Thelma and Louise (her hens) were startled again and fluttered about the coop sending hay and feathers everywhere.

“Marnie.” With the blunt side of a hoe, she rolled the egg into her backpack, as if it were a hot coal, “Marnie can help me.”

\--------------

Stella was at Marnie’s before the shop even opened. She banged on the door, “Marnie!”

The sun was up now but it was still quite early. Stella felt like a jerk disturbing them at this hour, but she was freaked out. Was she visited by a witch? Did witches live around here? Was that a thing? Honestly, with everything she had seen in Stardew Valley, it was possible. Was the egg cursed?

Marnie opened the door and Stella was surprised to find that she looked just as frightened, “Stella. Thank goodness you’re here.”

_Was she visited too?_

Marnie dragged Stella in, “It’s Shane. You have to help him.”

_…Shane?_

She remembered him drowning in her dream and felt shivers run up and down her spine.

Marnie led her through the house, past the kitchen where Stella met eyes with a worried looking Jas. The little girl turned away, trying to be brave. Marnie opened the door to his bedroom. Stella was hit by the smell of beer and sick and it was then she realized it was the same stench she smelled in her dream.

His room was dark, dingy, and a total mess. The TV was on, flickering a blue screen. And there was Shane, lying face down on the floor, surrounded by empty beer cans in a puddle of his own puke.

“Dear god…” Stella gasped. _Wasn’t he trying to stay sober?_

“Can you do something?” Marnie begged, “He’s out cold…”

Stella rushed to his side, “Shane.” She shook him.

He shifted, grumbled and groaned. Well, he was alive. She rolled him onto his back, cradling his head in her hand. He was limp and completely unconscious.

She looked around the room for an answer. There was a crate by the sofa spilling little blue cans all over the floor. A letter was sitting on top and even from where she was kneeling she recognized the Joja letterhead. She put Shane down and marched over, snatching up the letter.

What she read made her angrier than she had ever been in her whole life.

“Those fuckers.” She hissed to herself.

“Stella?” Marnie asked, growing more worried.

Stella saw a bottle of sparkling water. She snatched it up, and went back to Shane, untwisting the cap, “Hope this’ll wake him.”

\--------------

Waking up from cold water getting dumped on you is like getting your heart started by an electric shock. Shane burst to life, sitting up with a frightened gasp, nearly knocking the bottle out of Stella’s hands. He gripped his chest, trying to catch his breath, feeling like he was having a heart attack, but stopped breathing when he saw Stella was standing over him, in his bedroom, holding an empty bottle with a face full of worry.

He opened his mouth to respond, but his insides lurched, “Eurgh-“ He fell to his hands and vomited all over the floor. When he was finished he gripped his head, feeling like someone had hit him with a brick. The floor swayed back and forth underneath him and he realized he was _still_ drunk.

“Shane…” Stella touched his shoulder.

“Get offa me!” He shrugged her off, painfully aware of the slur in this speech, “I don't need your help!”

“Shane!” Marnie gasped, “What is the matter with you. You said you wouldn’t drink at home!”

He took deep breaths, looking around the room, trying to remember what happened. He also tried to get to his feet, but found he was too weak. He looked back at Marnie and Stella, who were both watching him with such pity.

Like he was some kind of sad desperate animal.

He gulped hard, trying to regain some composure, especially in front of Stella.

“You wouldn’t understand.” He spat, focusing very hard on _not_ slurring his words.

“I’m worried…” Marnie said, quieter, “You told me it wasn’t a problem. But all you do is mope around in your room and drink. What’s your plan? Don’t you ever think about your future?”

“Future?” He actually laughed, “Plan?”

He gripped his fingers into the rug, caked with stale puke. He had tried. He had tried to be sober… And did anything change? Did anything get better? He tried so hard to avoid _those_ thoughts, but they were bubbling up more and more. And now, here he was, on his bedroom floor a complete mess of his own creation, in front of the people he loved, wondering what the point of it all was anymore.

“Hopefully…” He spoke darkly, “I won’t be around long enough to need a plan…”

The look on Stella's and Marnie's faces was enough to make him regret saying it, but it was Jas who caught everyone’s attention as she burst into tears and ran from the room.

When had she come in there??

Marnie quickly ran after her, leaving Stella and Shane alone to listen to the sound of muffled sobs and Marnie’s gentle consoling. Shane stared at the door where Jas had fled, in his blurry vision it looked like a gaping black hole, “Jas..."

And then it all just became too overwhelming. He sat with his elbows on his knees and gripped his head, trying not to cry, “I’m sorry…” He whispered.

A voice reached out from the darkness, “Shane…” Stella touched his shoulder again.

He looked up at her, unable to hold back anything, unable to hide his darkest emotions under an angry façade. He was completely stripped bare. But she didn’t run. She knelt down next to him with a bottle of sparkling water, one of the many he had stored away in his room while trying to break his terrible habit.

“Drink this.” She offered, holding it to his mouth.

He complied. The fizz burned his throat, but the water was cool and refreshing. He drank it hungrily, hoping to fill the nauseous void in his gut. When he was done, Stella put his arm around her shoulders, “I’m going to help you stand up, okay?”

She was so strong; she lifted him up without any sign of trouble. He staggered on wobbly legs, but she held him steady and walked him over to his bed.

He fell down into it, and realized how thankful he was to be lying on something soft. His whole body was stiff from being passed out on the floor for who knows how many hours. It felt like a strain to look at her, “You- you don't have to-take care of me…” He said, no longer bothering to keep his words from slurring together.

“You’re right, Shane.” She pulled a towel from her bag and used it to wipe the sick from his face, “But I want to.”

He hated being so vulnerable, but the way she touched him was so gentle he started to relax, the intoxication enveloping him. He was exhausted.

“Why don’t you sleep it off?” She suggested.

He nodded weakly before drifting off.

\---------------------

It was a quiet day at Joja Mart. The cashier popped gum behind the counter, reading a tabloid that she didn’t seem to really be interested in. Sam, whose music could be heard spilling out from his headphones, danced around with a mop as he cleaned the floors. Morris sat at the customer service desk, counting up bills and coins.

And then Stella burst in.

Sam pulled back his headphones and waved, “Stella!” He said cheerfully, but stopped when he saw how infuriated she was.

Holding the crate of Joja Beer over her head, she marched directly to Morris, who had a shit-eating-grin, “Hello miss, how can I help you today?”

He yelped as she slammed the crate onto his desk and dumped its contents all over the floor. Then she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and nearly pulled him out from behind the counter, “What is _wrong_ with you!?”

Sam could not believe what he was seeing. Even the cashier seemed to wake up from her constant daze and leaned in to get a better look.

Morris quivered and adjusted his glasses, still smiling, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

She grabbed him with both hands, almost pulling him off his feet as she snarled, “You _sent him. An entire crate. Of Joja Beer!?”_

Morris gasped, “Shane?”

Sam raised his brows, "Oh whoa, he what?” 

“What’s wrong?” Morris feigned concern, “Did he not enjoy his gift?”

“Not _enjoy it?”_ Stella was nearly trembling with rage, thinking of _how much_ Shane ‘enjoyed’ it, “You know full well he has a problem!”

Morris acted surprise, “Does he? Oh my. How scandalous.”

Stella shook him, causing him to yelp again, “Don’t play dumb. You’re the one who sells it to him. You knew what you were doing. You took advantage of him!”

“Look, miss, business is business.” Morris shot back snottily, “It’s not my fault that he enjoys Joja Beer so much.”

 _Business is business._ The mantra she told herself as she approved all of those shipments.

_Business is business._

“Then why are you sending him an _entire crate_ of Joja Beer for free? So you can keep him hooked and continue draining his money from him!?”

His eyes fluttered to the claymore strapped to her back.

She smiled darkly, “Oh? I have half a mind to use that.”

“Security!” Morris screeched, looking to Sam frantically.

But Sam responded by looking around the shop and whistling some tune, pretending he didn’t hear.

Stella pressed on; “Does Joja Corp. know you’ve been sending your employees special favors?”

“Of course they know.” Morris said, finally dropping the friendly face, “It’s not our responsibility to make sure all of our customers and employees are participating in healthy habits.”

It was vindicating to watch him squirm, but she wished there was something more than her claymore she could threaten him with... She couldn't threaten his job, neither his money. She could scare him all she wanted to, but there was nothing she could do to stop him from feeding Shane’s addiction. Morris was right. This sick and twisted manipulation went all the way to the top. She had witnessed it firsthand.

She finally put him down.

Morris readjusted his shirt and glasses, “Sam! Escort her out of here before I fire you!”

“Sorry, Stella,” Sam apologized as he took her by the arm and led her to the door.

\----------------

Stella stomped through the snow toward the mines. She was livid. All she wanted to do was swing around her big fat claymore and slaughter slimes, break stone, grind… grind… grind…

_Shane._

Her heart had broken seeing him so helpless. So sick. So sad.

The last she saw him yesterday was when she gave Jas her gift. What happened after that? She realized she had completely ignored him the rest of the festival. Did no one pay attention? She tried to imagine how it felt for him to come home to that giant ridiculous crate, unable to stop himself.

Her fury began to grow again and she took a deep breath, trying to keep cool until she could unleash her ire on some nasty slimes. And then she spotted Sebastian, smoking a cigarette by his usual spot at the lake near the mines. Normally when she saw him her heart would grow. But not this time. She clenched her fists, “Sebastian!”

He didn’t even look startled, “Stella?”

“How could you!?” She asked as she approached him, tears in her eyes.

“Hm?" He raised a brow, "What are you talking about?”

“Shane! I’m talking about Shane!”

Sebastian’s calm demeanor made her even more annoyed, “What about him?”

“Morris, his manager, was his secret gift giver!" She was gesturing emphatically, "How could you let that happen?”

Sebastian tilted his head, “Is there a problem with that?”

“You _know_ what I’ve told you about Joja. How they have no humanity. Shane is so vulnerable! Morris used it as an opportunity to exploit him!”

Sebastian shrugged, “That’s not my fault.”

 _It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault._ She was sick of hearing that.

“That could not have possibly been random.” Stella pointed an accusing finger at him, “You rigged the gift giving so that I could be your recipient. Did Morris ask you to make Shane his?”

Sebastian took a long drag from his cigarette then sighed, “Yes.” He admitted, “The guy said he wanted to reward Shane for his hard work or something.” Sebastian shrugged, “I didn’t see anything wrong with it.”

Stella closed her eyes. Never before had she been so upset with him. She charged past him toward the mine. He didn’t even call after her.

\------------------

Level 80…

_Shane was passed out on the floor._

Level 81…

_Vomit. Yelling. The look in his eyes._

82… 

_“Hopefully… I won’t be around long enough to need a plan.”_

83.

_Jas crying in the kitchen. Stella standing there with nothing to say. No comfort to offer._

84.

_The smarmy look on Morris’s face._

85.

Stella huffed, as the elevator on the 85th floor pinged. She was scraped and bruised. Her claymore dripped slime and blood. She tromped over and threw her fist against the button. As she rode back to the top, she decided that she wasn’t feeling much better but at least the rage had subsided. Now she was just upset.

How could she have enabled Shane like that?

She remembered all of the drinks she had bought for him. The way they all laughed at him as he shot angry remarks from his lonely spot in the corner... They had _all_ let it get this bad. They were all accountable. She had to find a way to fix it. But she didn’t know how.

When she got home she dumped out the contents of her backpack on the floor and jumped when the bizarre black little egg rolled out. She had completely forgotten about it. It wriggled around on the ground sniggering. She picked it up and debated throwing it against the wall, killing whatever little terrible creature was growing inside.

…But she didn’t have the heart to do it.

She remembered that when Robin built the coop she included an incubator. And so Stella crept outside to her hens, trying not to wake them. She nestled the strange little egg into the incubator. And there she left it, gurgling in the darkness.


	5. Pickled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane discovers what exactly Stella's job was at Joja and how it connects with his addiction. Things don't go well.

One jar of pickles. –beep-

Two jars of pickles. –beep-

Three jars of pickles. –beep-

As much as he hated his job at Joja, it was mindless. In here he could lose all sense of time. The sterile environment offered no distractions, as he repeated the same monotonous task over… and over… never having to think too deeply.

Place the new stock. Scan it with a “beep”. Repeat.

Five jars of pickles. –beep-

Six. –beep-

_The touch of Stella’s hand, “Shane…”_

He shuddered as all of the terrible feelings of yesterday began to resurface. He quickly grabbed the next jar from the box.

Seven jars of pickles. –beep-

Eight…

“Shane.”

He didn’t respond as Morris sidled up to him, pushing a cart with more boxes to unload, “I’m so glad to see you’re feeling better.”

 _Am I feeling better?_ He spent a day off work, recovering which is why he was here now, on a Saturday, restocking what he missed the day before. The hangover was gone, sure, but was he really feeling _better?_ He was trying to avoid feeling anything, really.

“Your girlfriend seemed very concerned…”

Shane took pause, “Girlfriend?”

“Stella? Stella Granger?”

His heart panged. He swallowed hard and continued restocking the stupid terrible pickles, “She’s _not_ my girlfriend.” Then it occurred to him, how would Morris know that she was concerned?

“…Did she come here?” He asked slowly.

Morris huffed, “She returned the gift I gave you and made quite a scene!”

Shane knew the beer had disappeared from his room. He thought Marnie had tossed it. His stomach churned to think that Stella had returned it herself but the sensation was only physical. Was he feeling embarrassed? In love? Annoyed? He wondered how he should feel about that information. How would a normal person feel?

“Sorry.” Shane said, “I’ll tell her to not bother you.” It was a lie, but Shane didn’t care.

“Did you know she used to work for Joja?”

“Yep.”

“Did you know what her _job_ was?”

Shane paused again. Of course he was curious… But he also knew that Morris was trying to manipulate him somehow. While he debated how to respond, Morris decided to provide the answer for him anyway.

“She covered the alcohol distribution for the entire region!” Morris laughed, as if it were nothing, “If it wasn’t for her, we would have never had Joja Beer at this Joja Mart! So I guess we can thank her for that.”

Shane’s heart dropped, “What are you talking about?”

“Well, she always made sure our orders were fulfilled.” Morris adjusted his glasses, “But, more importantly, we weren’t licensed to serve alcohol, as you probably remember, until she personally pushed to have our license go through.”

She _personally_ pushed it through?

Shane’s mind went blank, he held the jar of pickles in his hand, frozen.

Morris smirked, seeing the damage had been done, “You can check the computers yourself! Her information is still logged in our employee portal.“ He pulled forward the rolling cart, “Speaking of which, make sure you restock this. They’ve been proving very popular.” He winked before scuttling away.

Of course. Fresh new packs of Joja Beer. Shane stared at the little blue cans lined up in rows. He picked one up and began connecting the dots.

Shane had been drinking long before ever had a Joja Beer, but it was these little blue cans that caused him to start spiraling. He remembered back then Mayor Lewis refusing to approve Joja Mart’s alcohol license, but for some reason it was pushed through. The next thing he knew he was buying his first Joja Beer. He even remembered the pop and hiss of his very first can, the first sip of many to come.

The license went through because of Stella?

Finally, he was feeling something. Heat welled in his stomach and chest. He nearly crushed the can in his fist.

\-----------------

By the time Shane’s shift was over night had fallen. Morris had just finished counting the day’s profits and was about to file it away in the safe when Shane approached him. The brim of his hat cast an almost menacing shadow over his eyes.

“Punching out?” he asked, turning to his computer.

Shane nodded before tossing some coins onto the counter, “’I'm taking this with me.” He gestured with a bottle of whiskey.

\------------------

“Sorry, Stella, he hasn’t come home yet.” Marnie was standing behind the counter of her shop, twirling her fingers around her braid in a worried manner.

It was evening, long past when Joja Mart had closed. They both knew that Shane should be home by now, and the fact he wasn’t hung in the air.

“How’s Jas?” Stella asked.

Marnie looked nervously down the hall where Jas was in the kitchen, drawing like usual.

“She doesn’t know the extent of it.” Marnie said in a hushed tone, “I know I should tell her… I just… Don’t know how.” The pain in her voice was palpable.

“I understand.”

Marnie sighed, shaking her heavy head, “It’s my fault.”

“What?”

“I gave him his first beer. It was his 18th birthday and I just thought nothing of it. A draft from Gus. Thought it would be nice to share a beer with my nephew.” She clenched her fists on the shop counter, “If I had known what it would turn into...”

Stella gave Marnie a comforting hand, “No. It’s not your fault. It’s Joja brand, it has a rather addictive quality. That’s all he drinks.”

“Still.” She looked away, “I should have never let it get this bad.”

Stella took Marnie’s hand in both of hers, “We’ll figure something out.” She smiled, reassuringly.

And she truly believed it too.

\------------------

Officially speaking, folks weren’t allowed to bring in drinks from outside to the Stardrop Saloon, but Gus never really held anyone to the rules. So there Shane sat, with his whiskey in hand, drinking straight from the bottle.

Emily and Gus exchanged worried looks.

“Do you want a glass for that?” Emily offered gently.

“No.” Shane spat.

What he really wanted was to be left alone. But he couldn’t drink at home, not with Jas there. And it was still winter so he wasn’t going to sit out in the woods. So here he was, in his lonely corner of the saloon, where everyone could watch him drink until he was blind.

The whiskey was not at all as comforting as his beer, the alcohol burn brutal in his throat. But he didn’t want to be comforted right now. He wanted to get drunk as fast as he could.

So lost in his whiskey, he didn’t hear the saloon door creak open, but he did hear someone shout, “Shane!”

His eyes narrowed, trying to make out the blurry blob shouting at him from the door of the saloon. Her face wasn’t totally clear, but he’d recognize those overalls anywhere.

He sneered, “What do you want?”

\-----------------------

Stella was a little surprised when Shane gave her such a cruel look, and equally surprised to see the half-empty bottle in his hand. She quickly closed the distance between them, “What are you doing? Why are you here?”

He swatted at her to go away,“Just leave me alone.”

But she didn’t leave. She took the barstool next to him. Gus and Emily pretended they were busy working but watched out of the corners of their eyes. Folks around the room too had stopped their usual chit chat or other occupations, listening in.

“I haven’t seen you since yesterday." Stella said, "And now I find you drinking whiskey here? Shane, this is getting out of hand. I’m… -I’m worried.” She swallowed hard, feeling like she was admitting something deeply personal.

“Ha!” He spat, “Isn’t that _rich?_ ”

Stella felt stung. Where did _that_ come from? What was he talking about?

He gave her a smug look as he took a swig. She could smell it; like gasoline, “After all,” He said, “I have _you_ to thank, don’t I?”

“Me?”

“Stella Granger. Joja Corporation Employee. ID number 190630. Job Title: Regional Distributor for the South East, including Stardew Valley, oh! And including wines and liquors.”

Stella felt her insides hollow. Even Emily and Gus stopped what they were doing and were paying full attention now. Shane could see what affect he was having. He loudly gulped from the bottle, ignoring the burn, hoping it would make her sick with guilt; “Morris told me.” He growled, “He told me _everything._ That _you_ are the reason why our Joja Mart has an alcohol license. You are the reason why it sells any beer or whiskey or wine _at all_. I _saw_ it, your entire work history is still in the Joja portal. I saw that you signed off on every single shipment of Joja Beer to Stardew Valley until last year. You signed off on my very first can… and even the cans you saw me drinking when you first stepped into this saloon. So-“ He tipped the whiskey toward her, “Thank you.”

The color was draining from Stella’s face, “Joja Mart’s alcohol license…?”

She poured through her memory, trying to recall what exactly he was talking about. It was years ago, when Stella had first started working for HQ, in charge of distribution for the South East. At that time, many of the local Joja Marts in her region didn’t have the licenses to sell liquor, which meant right from the beginning her job was in jeopardy. She had to make sure that shipments were only going up and if they weren't her head was on the chopping block. Annoyingly, many local licensing boards denied proposals, citing a variety of reasons as to why they didn’t want Joja to have a license to sell spirits in their small towns. So, Stella did what she had to do... She went over the heads of local boards and went to the regional government. She ignored the wishes of the locals and pushed the licenses through.

She remembered their names: Swamp Bottom, Blue Jazz Park, Stardew Valley…

She felt like the floor was falling out from under her. How could she have forgotten? When she saw her grandfather’s letter she knew the name rang a bell, but she thought it was just because it was her grandfather’s home. Mayor Lewis, Morris, the Stardew Valley Joja Mart, the Stardrop Saloon... She had known it _all_ before moving in. She had received the letter of denial from Mayor Lewis himself, explaining that he had denied Morris’s request for a liquor license because they already had the Stardrop Saloon, and he was also concerned over the health and safety of his residents:

_One establishment for alcohol is enough. We hope you understand. We are otherwise happy to have Joja Mart as a part of our community, and hope to have good relations with you throughout the future._

The letter was written in Lewis's characteristic kindness; he was so unaccusing and woefully naïve. He had wrongly assumed that Joja Corp would be understanding.

Stella had taken that letter, like many others, and ignored it. She had gone to the regional government itself and explained her case. She had even flashed Lewis’s letter to the secretary at the bureau, claiming that the Mayor of Pelican Town was asking that Joja handle the licensure with his approval. It was risky but, as expected, the secretary only confirmed Lewis’s signature on the letter, and ignored its contents, which in fact said quite the opposite.

The license was approved. And Stella quickly began filing orders.

What she didn’t see, what she had ignored, were the people who end up buying those bottles of whiskey, the rum, the vodka, the wine, and beer...

It was Shane. It was people like Shane.

“I did.” She said quietly, “I did. I did it even though Mayor Lewis said no.”

Emily and Gus were shocked.

But Shane?

He stood up from the barstool and glowered at her, “You thought you could _escape?_ ” He asked darkly, “You thought you could come here and ignore your past?”

He waited until she looked at him. He could see it in her eyes, he had broken her. But he didn’t let it stop him- he took the bottle and chugged the rest of it down, wanting her to take it _all_ in. Emily audibly gasped; there was still a lot left. Gus prepared to catch Shane if he collapsed from it.

But he didn’t. He finished the hard liquor then threw the bottle against the floor, causing it to shatter. The sound of breaking glass caught the attention of everyone in the saloon.

Shane pointed an angry finger at her, “I do not _ever_ want to see you again.” Then he left, leaving her to sit in her own shame.

Emily quickly grabbed a broom and scurried out from behind the bar, rushing to Stella’s side. Gus, too, leaned across the counter, “Stella… Is that true?”

“Even if it is true.” Emily said, kneeling next to her, “That was wrong of him to accuse you like that. You were doing your job _,_ it’s not your fault that he drinks. It doesn’t matter who or where he got it from, it’s his choice. You could blame anybody for giving it to him! The farmer who grows the hops, Joja Corp, Morris…”

The rational part of Stella knew Emily was right, but Emily couldn’t know what kind of old, terrible feelings Shane had just dug up from the grave. He was right too, she was trying to escape, and in one fell swoop he had brought them all back up to the surface.

\-------------------

Shane knew he was an asshole. How he had accused Stella when he knew full well there was no one to blame but himself. A sick and twisted part of him wanted her to feel guilty, to care enough about him to feel ashamed. It was a disgusting and terrible thing to do. Made all the worse by how he made her watch him drown himself in it, the effects of which were now thoroughly intoxicating him.

He couldn’t walk straight, couldn’t see straight. He wasn’t even sure if he was on the right path home. The whiskey was unforgiving, making his head spin and his stomach roil, and yet he still wanted more.

 _More…_ His throat begged, _more!_

_Shut up. Shut up! There will be more at home. There is more at home. If I just get home-_

He didn’t see the cliff until he nearly walked off of it. One minute the ground was there, and the next the world fell out from under him. He caught himself at the very last second, stumbling back from the edge. He scrambled on the ground away from the craggy rock and pressed himself up against a tree trunk. His pounding heart and the rush of adrenaline gave him a brief moment of clarity. He sat there, breathing hard frightened breaths, staring at where he had almost walked off.

And for a moment, he wished that maybe he had.


	6. The Void (Chicken)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rattled by Shane's words, Stella realizes that she needs to take time for herself to really confront her inner demons. Shane, on the other hand, is struggling to maintain any control over his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! As always, thanks for reading.
> 
> If you've been following along, you might notice that the beginning of this chapter used to be the end of the last chapter! Sorry for the confusion! I was looking over my story drafts and I felt that the pacing was kind of odd, so I shifted around some scenes between chapters and I think that this makes a lot more sense. If you don't want to reread, you can just skip down a little bit to when Shane's part of the chapter starts. :)
> 
> I apologize as this chapter isn't so exciting, Shane and Stella don't even interact with each other! But I think it provides necessary character development, especially for Stella, who needs to feel confident in herself in order to take on what's about to happen to Shane~ This may be a more laid back chapter, but I'm a writer who likes the keep the heat on so I assure you that things ramp up again in the next installment.
> 
> I also wrote at the beginning that this story was going to be "short" and "simple" - while it still might be "simple" as I write it out I am realizing that it's not as "short" as I originally thought! Ha ha! I promise you, however, that the story outline is complete and there is a decisive ending, so it will NOT go on and on and on. It's just that writing it all out has turned out longer than I realized. I've also been writing, like, five chapters ahead (my draft is up to Chapter 10) so I can confidently say that I will keep updating quickly. I reckon it will be around 20 chapters when it's all said and done but I hope it will be less than that. 
> 
> Your comments have been so encouraging and I thank everyone who has commented and left kudos! <3 Again, I am writing this mostly for myself but, still, your appreciation has felt so so good. I'm feeling inspired, so if you'd like me to write a one shot, feel free to shoot me some ideas (however I cannot make any guarantees because I am a busy lady <3).
> 
> Anyway, love you all, and please take care of yourselves! ;)

Stella

It was the last day of winter, and the morning sun illuminated the frost on her bedroom windows. Stella had been awake for many hours now, but her bed was warm. It was safe. She never wanted to leave.

There hadn’t been a day yet in Stardew Valley where she hadn’t leapt right out of bed to greet the day and get to work. But today the blankets felt especially heavy, and her limbs especially weak.

Memories from the past had haunted her all night. Like a perverse film montage, she dreamed of every license she approved. She dreamed of droning away at her computer day after day, under cold fluorescent lighting, losing all track of time, mindlessly approving shipments, raking in money for Joja, justifying her paycheck. How each day had become the same… How she lost her whole identity in the monotony.

And how she thought she could escape that _here._

She groaned and pulled the covers over her head, deciding that she simply wouldn’t face the world today.

But there were hungry animals to feed, including Balou, who mewed at the entrance of her bedroom.

“Not now, Balou.”

The cat jumped into bed with her, snuggling under the covers and rubbing her face into Stella’s, purring all the way.

“No- No, Balou!” But how could anyone say no to a cuddly kitty?

“Fine.” She sighed.

Soon she was out of bed and filling Balou’s bowl and watching absentmindedly as the cat hungrily fed. How simple it was to be a cat, without a worry in the world about work or money…

As she straightened up, she caught her reflection in one of her windows and just… stared… How much she had changed. Her hair was longer, and with less concern over looking “professional” it looked less tame… More wild. She was so much more fit now. And her skin was rugged and marred, seemingly covered in a perpetual sheen of dirt. But there it was, where it always had been, that same tired look in her eye.

She was wrong to think she would be cured if she moved here. Maybe this was all one big joke. Maybe she had just been fooling herself this past year.

It had been almost a year and the house was still falling apart. The greenhouse wasn’t fixed. Debris had crept in during winter, making so much of the clearing she had done during the warm season pointless. For the first time in a long time, she felt that same feeling of failure.

\---------------

The day was long, despite that Stella did so little. She tended her chickens. She made some breakfast. She watched TV. She snuggled with Balou.

And then night fell. It wasn’t very late, but Stella decided she was ready for bed.

Balou followed her as she sauntered back to bed and settled down by her feet. Stella began to fantasize about leaving. Who would take care of Balou if she left? Or Thelma and Louise? Marnie would probably agree to take care of them. But what about that creepy little egg incubating in her coop? Whatever it was, it would probably die, and maybe that was for the better. But what about the land? She could give it to Mayor Lewis, or even sell it to Joja Mart… She knew they wanted the Community Center, anyway, which she also had made little progress on.

And what about Sebastian?

The last she saw of him was yelling at him next to the lake. She felt bad… But he hadn’t even bothered to try to see her. Of course he wouldn’t. Even if he cared, he wasn’t the kind of guy who would do that. She figured he’d just let someone fade out of his life, even if he didn’t want them to.

She wished that he would come looking for her… But she knew he wouldn’t. If she left, he, like everything else, would just become another regrettable memory.

Her decision had been all but made by the time she drifted off to sleep.

At the stroke of midnight, outside in her garden, the lights from her grandfather’s shrine burst into life. While she slept, Stella felt her spirit leech out from her feet and she began drifting high in the sky, far above Stardew Valley. She could see Pierre’s Store, the Stardrop Saloon, the Mines, Robin’s, Joja Mart, the Community Center, and Marnie’s…

But she swirled upward into the stars, flying higher and higher into the endless twinkling sky, and up there she met someone she never thought she would see again.

“Stella…” His voice was distant, yet familiar. His ghostly form floated above her, with that same smile she recognized from her childhood.

Seeing him and hearing his voice, Stella couldn’t help but cry, “Grandpa!”

“My dear girl… It’s been many years,” He reached out and embraced her, “And look how far you’ve come!”

Stella wiped at the tears in vain as they were carried into the wind, “I-I haven’t come far at all! The farm is still a mess… And I’m… I’m still so lonely. I can’t do it, papa.”

“No no, dear.” He cooed, “You have never been alone. My body may have departed, but my heart will always be in Stardew Valley. And I am so proud of you.”

“You’re… proud?”

“You have made so much progress. You bring me and Stardust Farm honor.” He began fading.

“Papa! No!” He was already slipping from her fingers, “Don’t leave.”

“I believe in you, Stella. The future of the farm is in your hands.”

_I believe in you._

Stella’s spirit began falling. The icey winds of winter whipped past her as the stars grew more and more distant. The sun broke over the mountain tops and the dark valley burst into life, the shops and houses twinkling below her. A rush of warm air swept up from the south, heralding the first day of spring as Stella fell, fell… fell…

She woke with a start, causing Balou to leap from the bed. She jumped into her slippers and didn’t even bother to put on her shoes or a jacket as she burst out the door in her PJs. She ran to her grandfather’s shrine to see if anything had changed.

But it was just how she left it.

Was it all a dream? But it was so vivid. She had long since forgotten his voice, the touch his hands, but it was all there.

 _“I believe in you.”_ He had said.

She clenched her fists.

_“You thought you could escape? You thought you could come here and ignore your past?”_

Shane was right. She could never forget her past, and it would always be there to haunt her.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t do something about it.

She looked around the farm and rolled up her sleeves; today was the first day of Spring, and she had a lot to do.

\-------------------------

Shane

Time passed… And for at least a week Stella seemed to respect Shane’s wishes. Shane didn’t see her anywhere. Not at Joja. Not at the Stardrop. Not at Marnie’s. Not even on his walks from one place to another.

But, actually, it could have been a week, it could have been a month, it even could have been only three days, because Shane had _no clue_ how much time was passing.

Shane had given up. He had given up trying to be sober, completely surrendering to his addiction. Alcohol was his breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Day blurred into night and night into day, dreams into reality. Shane’s life was becoming a series of scenes in between bottles and cans, events flashing before him before blacking out again and again. The only connection between them the taste of beer on his lips and the burn of alcohol in his belly:

Standing in the kitchen with Marnie: _“I’ve been talking to Dr. Harvey. We want you to see a doctor in Zuzu City…”_

_“I’m not going to Zuzu City!”_

Stocking shelves in Joja Mart.

Drinking in his bedroom. Drinking at Joja Mart. Drinking at the Stardrop.

Sitting with Jas in the kitchen: _“Shane-daddy, what in that glass?”_

_“Nothing.”_

Penny giving him a dirty look as she picked up Jas from their home. Marnie’s looks of worry. Gus, Emily, and everyone else in the Stardrop looking at him like some kind of wretch.

Morris’s snide smile, _“Here’s your paycheck.”_

_One jar of pickles…_

_Two jars of pickles…_

Sam dancing with a mop in the Joja Mart lobby. Punching in. Punching out.

Drinking in the woods. Drinking at the pond.

And sometimes he would wander out to the edge of the cliffs Southwest of town, near where the sewer run off dumped out into the sea. He would watch the water fall from the grate and imagine falling with it.

\----------------

Stella wasn’t avoiding Shane, at least, not specifically. She was kind of avoiding everyone. She would go to Pierre’s to purchase new seeds, to the mines to do some digging, but otherwise she preoccupied most of her time on the farm. She didn’t visit the Saloon, Joja Mart, not even Sebastian’s.

She wanted to keep to herself. The days passed as she worked, weeding, chopping down trees, clearing out rock and debris. She planted spring crops, crafted new sprinklers, put aside goods for the Community Center. And all the while, she was thinking.

It was true that she needed to get out of Joja Corp and Zuzu City. But she didn’t realize that in doing so instead of confronting her problems she was running away from them. And then when she got here she tried to fill the emptiness within her with farm work, with fishing, with new friends, with Sebastian…

All that meant was that eventually those feelings she ignored would catch up with her. And, well, they caught up with her.

And so with every whack of the tree, every strike at a stone, every pull of the hoe and slice at a mine monster, Stella faced herself and her inner demons.

The fear of failure – WHACK!

The existential dread – CHOP!

The lack of confidence, the guilt and shame – THWACK! BANG!

And she went to bed each night feeling a little stronger, a little braver. And Balou would always crawl into bed with her, reminding her that she was never alone.

And then, one day, it finally happened.

She had almost forgotten about the strange little egg until the day came when she opened the door to her coop and there it was, starting back at her with red beady eyes. A demonic tar-black chicken.

Stella was so startled as soon as she saw it she turned around and slammed the coop door shut behind her.

She heard Thelma and Louise clucking inside and she was afraid - could she leave that- _that thing_ in there with them?

She cautiously opened the door.

The strange chicken had found a spot for itself to roost. The way it was watching her… She wondered if it had humanlike intelligence.

She slowly approached it. And it watched. Unafraid.

She reached out a hand, expecting it to peck her or fly at her, or do _something._ But it didn’t. She pat its head and it crooned sweetly.

She looked to Thelma and Louise, who didn’t seem concerned with the new housemate.

Maybe that’s all it was… An odd chicken.

She pulled hay from the hopper and spread it around for her ladies to feed. Thelma and Louise rushed over and plucked at the hay hungrily. The black chicken, too, walked over from its roost and munched on the hay.

Stella watched the newcomer interact with her hens and all seemed well. She leaned down and stroked its feathers. The chicken responded by rubbing its head into her palm, enjoying the attention.

“Maybe you aren’t so bad. And to think… I was going to smash you.”

As if it understood her, the chicken skittered away, finding some hay at the other end of the coop to feed on.

Stella stood up and leaned against the door, watching her hens, “Oh girls… Those feelings will never go away, will they?”

They, of course, did not respond, but Stella carried on anyway, “The fear, the sadness, my history at Joja and all the mistakes I made… They’ll always be there.”

The black chicken, however, did seem to be listening. It wandered back over and rubbed against her legs, almost like Balou might.

Stella smiled, “But that’s okay, isn’t it?”

The chicken tilted her head, perplexed.

“Alright. I’ll name you Jojo. In honor of my past, and my future!” She clapped her hands together, causing all three chickens to jump and flutter about.

She finally felt she was ready. She was ready to face them again.


	7. The Stardrop Saloon; Take 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After taking a brief hiatus from everyone, Stella visits the Stardrop Saloon to reconnect. She finds most everyone is healthy and happy... Except for Shane... Whose sickness seems to have taken a turn for the worse.

Stella stood at the door of the saloon daring herself to open it. She remembered the first time she stood outside this very door, and how nervous she had been. How shy and broken she was. How afraid she was to talk to even the friendly people of Stardew Valley.

How far she had come since then! She was more confident now, and so much less afraid. She had faced monsters in the mines, she had built up a farm from almost nothing. She was raising chickens and living off the land.

She could do this.

She put her hand on the door handle…

“Stella!” A smokey voice called out.

She turned to see Pam walking up, “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!”

She smiled, “Hey Pam.”

The woman gave her a bear hug, “Why don’t you come in and share a pint with an old lady?” She winked and laughed.

“Ha ha! Of course,” Stella followed her in.

The saloon wasn’t that busy, yet, but it was still early. The same old timey music Gus played every night filled the empty space while he and Emily busied themselves behind the counter, preparing for the night ahead. But they stopped when they saw her.

“Stella!” Emily ran out from behind the counter and gave her a big hug too.

Gus laughed heartily, “Where have you been!? I’ve been trying out some new recipes that I am desperate to have you try.”

“Sorry, guys.” Stella apologized, taking her usual seat at the bar, “I had… some business to attend to.”

“Well, we are glad to have you back.” Gus passed her one of his cold foamy drafts, “This one’s on the house.”

“Cheers to Stella!” Pam lifted her mug.

Emily giggled, finding it funny as there was nothing to toast Stella for, but they all joined in nonetheless, “Cheers!”

They began chatting, catching Stella up on the latest gossip and general news. Soon the saloon door creaked open behind them.

“Stella!” Sam gasped, “We all thought you had died!”

“No.” Abigail knocked him on the head, “ _You_ thought she had died. I told you she’d been visiting dad’s store everyday, you dolt.”

Sam rubbed his head where Abigail hit him, giving her an apologetic smile. And behind them was Sebastian.

Stella and him exchanged an awkward look. She took a deep breath, knowing what she had to do, stood up and walked over to him.

Abigail and Sam looked to each other, then Abigail began pushing Sam aside, saying, “We should let them talk…”

Stella walked up to him, and they stood there for a moment, waiting for the other to speak.

“Hey.” She said.

“Hey.” He replied.

Another awkward silence.

“I – uh-“ Stella’s fingers found the loose button in her overalls, “I’m sorry I didn’t… Reach out to you or anything.”

“It’s okay.” Sebastian looked aside, “I… didn’t really try reaching out to you either.”

She held out her hand, “Still friends?”

Sebastian looked at her hand. Stella was nervous that he might not take it...

But he did; “Of course.” He said, shaking it.

Stella nodded, pulling her hand back, “I uh… I needed some time to think. And… I think we need to start over.”

She had fallen in love with Sebastian the idea, not really Sebastian the person. She didn’t realize she was seeking him out in the same way she had been filling up her time working on the farm or down in the mines – it was all to fill the emptiness in her chest. She now knew she shouldn’t use people like that.

But, of course, he of all people would understand, “It’s okay, Stella.” He said, gently taking the hand that was fiddling with her loose button, “We can start over.”

His smile was so gentle and disarming, Stella couldn't help but blush.

“Get a room!” Sam shouted, quickly followed by a harsh slap from the back of Abigail's hand.

“Let’s talk later,” Sebastian said, “I’ve got a cocky guitarist to show how pool is done.”

Stella chuckled, “Go get ‘em.”

Stella turned back to the bar where Emily was sitting, propped on her elbows and giving Stella a silly grin, "That looked like it went well~."

Stella bashfully waved her hand, "Oh shush, you. We're going to take it slow this time."

But Emily was undeterred, "I see the makings of a good love story!"

"Perhaps." Stella shrugged, acting cool about it. But, really, she was kind of hoping her love story with Sebastian- their _real_ love story - could begin.

And then, the saloon door creaked open yet again. Stella turned back, wondering what old friend might be entering this time.

It was Shane.

And he looked terrible.

His eyes were red and sunken. His skin was sallow. He looked somewhere between clean and filthy; his five o’clock shadow patchy, as if he had _tried_ to shave but kind of missed a lot. And he was already stumbling and swaying.

Stella was speechless.

_What happened?_

He didn’t even notice her as he staggered over to the bar and fell into his chair. Gus and Emily both looked between him and Stella, as if they were both ashamed they hadn’t told her.

He tossed a coin onto the table. And Gus…

Stella knew Gus was a pushover, he couldn’t even get Pam to pay off her tab. And so, Gus did what he did every night, he reached under the bar and handed Shane his beer.

Shane popped the can with a hiss and brought it to his lips.

But Stella couldn’t take it anymore, “That’s it!” She snatched the can from his hand, “I’m cutting you off.”

It took Shane a moment to register what just happened. He looked at her with glassy eyes and she could almost see the cogs slowly clunking together in his brain.

“Stella?” His voice sounded as if just seeing her was breaking his heart.

But then he saw the can in her hand. His expression turned sour.

“Give me that.” He grabbed at it.

But Stella held it out of reach, “Absolutely not. This has to stop. Look at yourself! You’re a mess.”

The other patrons began to take notice. Leah looked up from her sketchbook. Clint and Willy paused their evening chat. Even Sam, Sebastian, and Abigail stopped their game and peeked from the other half of the saloon to see what was going on.

“I don’t care.” Shane growled, standing up and reaching for the can, “I paid for it. Now give me my beer.”

“Sorry, Gus.” Stella apologized as she turned the can upside down and dumped it on the floor.

Shane watched the beer spill out like she was committing a crime. He threw his hands into his hair, as if he were thinking _what am I supposed to do now!?_

Stella dropped the empty can on the floor and crushed it with her foot, “No more. We’re taking you to Harvey’s. This ends today.”

She grabbed his arm, but he tugged it away, “What is wrong with you!?”

“Wrong with _me!?”_ She shouted back, “What’s wrong with me is that I can’t stand to see you do this to yourself anymore! What’s wrong is that I and- and everyone else-“ She gestured around the room, “-have let this go on for so long!”

Shane looked around the room nervously, all eyes were on him… He swallowed hard, closed his eyes and clenched his fists, “I thought I told you I didn’t want to see you again.”

Stella folded her arms, “Really? In this tiny town? You really think we could avoid each other?”

“Well _you_ need to stop acting like you’re some big hero!” He gestured wildly, “You come into this town and buddy up with everyone. I see what you’re doing! You flatter us with gifts, with compliments, all for your own game. But it won’t work on me anymore. I am not going to be fooled by you and I don’t want you to save me!”

“Fooled!?” Stella was appalled. Did he think that all of her friendliness toward him was a lie? Was he losing his mind too? Her thoughts raced with all sorts of angry responses but she took a deep breath, “Shane. I _know_ you don’t want to be like this. No one would want to be like this," She grabbed his arm again, firmer this time, “Now you are coming with me.”

He tried tugging his arm away, but the alcohol was making him weak, “Let go of me!” He grabbed at her iron grip with his free hand, trying to pry her off.

Sebastian stepped forward, ready to jump in if Shane suddenly became violent. But Stella put up a hand, gesturing for him to stand down. She knew Shane wouldn’t hurt her.

“You _cannot_ save me!” He shouted, then he stopped tugging at her, his voice dropped low, “I’ll make sure of it…” He said darkly.

“You’ll-“ She paused, “…You’ll _what_?”

The look in his eye, the tone of his voice… She was brought back to his bedroom, where he sat on the floor and said;

_“Hopefully… I won’t be around long enough to need a plan…”_

She faltered and her grip loosened. Shane took the opportunity to free himself and charged for the door.

“Shane!” She grabbed him by the coat.

He threw his arm back. He was only trying to shrug her off… But intoxication made him clumsy and instead his elbow met with her nose, making a sickening crunch.

Stella stumbled back, clutching at her face as blood spilled out all over the floor. Sebastian rushed to her aid.

“Get some paper towels.” Gus ordered Emily, who was already at the other end of the bar grabbing a roll.

“Keep your head back.” Sebastian told her.

She cringed, following Sebastian’s advice while also trying to hold her nose to stem the flow of blood. It was falling into her mouth, onto her shirt, all over the floor. She caught a glimpse of Shane and the look of horror on his face before he turned for the door.

“Wait-“ She winced, as pain through her head.

“Don’t talk,” Sebastian told her, “You’re going to make it worse.”

Emily shoved a paper towel in her face.

“Someone call Harvey.” She heard Leah say.

“Already on the phone.” Gus.

“Whoaaaa, that looks gnarly.” Sam.

“Don’t be gross.” Abigail.

“Get her off the floor, she’s sitting in her own blood.” Willy.

“Unbelievable. We all knew he’d snap someday.” Clint.

“Stella?” Sebastian’s pretty face, “Stella, are you okay?”

“Shane.” She gasped again, “Don’t let him- …Don’t let him get far.” She tried, but they ignored her.

As they doted over here, Stella's eyes were transfixed on the doorway as Shane's words repeated over and over in her head:

_“You cannot save me…_

_I_ _’ll make sure of it.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies that this is a shorter chapter... But "the chase" (so to speak) starts next chapter and I had to break it up some because posting it all together just seemed too long. Brushing it up now and hope to be posting it soon!  
> As always, thanks for reading. :)


	8. Rabbits Foot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is running short as Stella searches all over the valley for any sign of Shane before he does something stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the wait on this chapter! I've actually almost completed the entire story, but I've just traveled to the US for a three week vacation so posting chapters has not been my top priority (I am very sorry!). However, since much of it is written out already I hope to keep updating this story in a timely manner. :)
> 
> Enjoy~

Stella sat on the hospital bed, arms folded, foot tapping nervously. Her eyes darted to the clock. One hour.

One hour since she had last seen Shane.

A lot could happen in one hour.

Harvey was scribbling something on a clipboard and she wondered how long it could possibly take to write up a report. Her nose was bruised, but nothing was broken. What all did he need to write?

 _“A nose is funny like that,”_ He had said, _“If you hit it at just the right angle it can burst all those little capillaries and bleed like you’re in a slasher film!”_

It was an odd thing to say.

She snuffled, feeling out her bandaged snout. The bruise ached and the adhesive tickled, but otherwise she could tell that everything was going to be fine.

Now to just get out of here so she could find Shane.

“Almost finished.” Harvey said with his usual optimism.

Stella’s knee continued bouncing as she tap-tap-tap-tapped against the floor. She was in the back of the infirmary; she had grown familiar with both Harvey and his hospital having had a couple of bad stints in the mines or after passing out from overwork. It was a sterile space, but Harvey had put his own little personal flares into the room to make it a little more inviting - a model plane, a coffee machine that was always percolating no matter how late into the night she arrived, a drug PSA with a photo of Harvey giving a thumbs up above the tag line: _Dr._ _Harvey says relax, don't do it!_

Finally he passed the paper to her from his clipboard, “All done! I’ll send the bill in the mail.”

“Thanks.” Stella quickly snatched the paper from him and went for the door.

“Where are you going?” Sebastian had waited there with her, sitting behind one of the privacy curtains (that didn't really yield any privacy at all).

“I’m going to find Shane.”

Sebastian checked his watch, “It’s getting late…”

“Then you can go home.” Stella said, putting on her backpack, “I just need to make sure he’s okay.”

“Are you sure he’s safe to be around right now?”

Stella gave him an incredulous look, “Of course he’s safe! Shane wouldn’t hurt a fly!”

Sebastian raised his brow, nodding at the very obvious bandages on her nose.

“Oh c’mon, this was clearly an accident.” She shrugged her backpack into place, “I was the one being too handsy… Besides. I can take care of myself.”

Sebastian took a deep breath, folding his arms, “Alright, well. You know I don’t sleep. Contact me if you need anything.”

Stella nodded and left.

\--------------

The stars disappeared under clouds making the night darker than pitch. She could hear the distant rumble of thunder warning that the weather would turn. The cool night air pricked her skin making her hair stand on end. Her nose was fine but it still throbbed. She thought for a moment of just giving up. Shane was probably fine. Right now she could just go home and curl up in her warm bed with her snuggly kitty and warm fire. But Shane’s words haunted her…

_“I’ll make sure of it.”_

She first went to Marnie’s, once again feeling bad to bother the family on an off hour. A disheveled looking Marnie answered the front door.

“Hello?” She asked, her hair mussed and eyes groggy, “What happened to your nose?”

“Hey,” Stella shifted her weight nervously, “Did… uh… Did Shane ever come home?”

Marnie frowned, “Let me check… Please, come in.”

She opened the door wider for Stella, who stepped in and glanced around the room, looking for any sign that Shane may have passed through.

The smell of leather was always pungent in Marnie’s shop, and the saddles, bridles, bags of feed, and other animal equipment made peculiar shapes in the darkness. Stella stole herself, taking deep deliberate breaths, hoping that Marnie would find Shane safe in his room.

But Marnie quietly returned, her expression puzzled, “No… He’s not here. Should I be concerned? Did he do something?” Her eyes landed on Stella’s nose again.

Stella felt her heart rate increasing. He wasn’t home… And it was getting later.

_“I’ll make sure of it.”_

Stella didn’t want to alarm her; “He… just seemed upset. You should stay here with Jas. I’ll look for him.”

Marnie was definitely more awake now. She turned on the lights in the shop and rushed to the phone, “I’ll call Mayor Lewis.”

“Not a bad idea.” Stella agreed, “I’ll contact you as soon as I find anything.”

Marnie nodded and Stella left.

Outside the house, Stella peeked out toward the pond. If she squinted, she could just make out the edge of the pier. She remembered seeing Shane's hunched form there back in summer, his feet dipped in the water.

But he wasn’t there now.

She took a deep breath and decided the next place to check would be Joja. She hated that it was on the opposite end of town, meaning more time was consumed as she zig zagged across the valley. But she didn’t know where else to go, and she figured that wherever Shane went it would be to get his hands on more booze.

By the time she reached the Joja Mart it had begun to sprinkle. The department store leered in the darkness. Stella walked up to the doors and peered inside. The shelves were lined up in rows. A cockroach skittered across the tiled floor.

But nothing.

She circled around the building looking for another way in or a sign that someone had been there. She ended up at the loading dock. Crates upon crates of Joja goods were lined up in neat little stacks. A truck sat by the dock itself and inside she could just make out the red hot burn of a cigarette.

There was someone in the truck.

Stella walked over and knocked on the window. It slowly rolled down, unleashing clouds of harsh tobacco smoke – not nearly as smooth or pleasant as Sebastian’s – and Stella coughed hoarsely as it scratched at her throat. A man sat in shadows, too dark for her to make out any features. He brought the cigarette to what she assumed was his lips and the end of the fag lit up as he sucked.

“-cough- Sorry to- -cough cough- bother you.” Stella waved her hand in front of her face to dispel some of the smoke, “You didn’t happen to see someone come here tonight? Maybe about an hour and a half ago?”

“Hmmm…” The man hummed in a deep growly voice, “I did.”

A clue?

“Man came and picked up a bunch o’ beer” He reported, “Took it an’ left ‘round that time.”

 _And you just… let him?_ Stella thought quizzically, but she guessed that this truck driver wouldn’t care one way or another if someone stole from Joja.

“Did you see which way he went?”

A fat finger rose and pointed in the direction Stella came from. Had she gone right past him?

“Hey kid…” He went on, “I need a lucky break… Why don’t ‘cha bring me a rabbit’s foot? I’ll make it worth your while.”

It was an odd request coming from a complete stranger in a shady loading dock in the dead of night, “Sorry...” She took a step back from the truck door, “I don’t have one.”

The man began to roll up the window, “Come back when you do.”

Finally, the sky broke. Stella scurried under an overhang as it began raining in buckets. The rain somehow made an impossibly dark night even darker.

She sighed; she had no rain gear. The night was getting later, and the rain made everything colder. But she couldn’t give up on Shane.

She dug around in her backpack and found a torch. She lit it and tested it in the rain, hoping the flame wouldn't go out. It proved strong enough.

She set back out into the night.

\--------------------

The storm swelled overhead. As Stella made her way back toward Marnie’s (the direction the truck driver had pointed) she made sure to explore every side trail, every hidden corner, every possibly place where Shane could have wandered off.

But he was nowhere to be found.

Stella felt dread growing in her gut as the gravity of the situation was becoming more and more dire. Hours had passed now since she had last seen Shane in the Stardrop Saloon and the only thing she knew was that he had picked up an entire 64-can crate of Joja beer. Which meant, wherever he was, he was probably dangerously intoxicated.

The rain was forming puddles on the ground. If he was passed out he could drown. If he was drunk enough he could do something stupid…

Something dangerous.

Soon she saw the light outside Marnie’s shop shining through the sheets of rain. She planted her torch into the soft dirt out front and pushed through the door. Mayor Lewis was there. Marnie and him both looked concerned.

“Stella!” Marnie gasped, “Any luck?”

Stella shook her head.

Lightning flashed through the windows followed by a menacing crackle of thunder.

Marnie was looking panicked, “We’ve already checked everywhere! Robin checked the bath house and the train station… Gus around the saloon… Elliot the beach-” She paused, “Joja! What about the Joja Mart?”

Stella shook her head, “I was just there.” She was about to report that Shane was seen there picking up some drink, but realized that information might scare her even more, so instead she said simply, “He wasn’t there.”

Marnie put her face in her hands. Lewis wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder, “Don’t worry.” He said, “We’ll find him.”

In the corner of her eye Stella saw someone flutter from the kitchen doorway.

Jas…

Stella felt completely at a loss. How could Shane do this? How could he do this to Marnie? To Jas? To Lewis?

To her?

Her face was so wet with rain, she didn’t realize she was crying until her runny nose began soaking the bandages. The tears mixed with the rain dripping off her face and onto the floor below her.

_“You ever feel like… no matter what you do, you’re gonna fail?”_

She remembered how he gently kicked his legs in the water in the pond that night, lighting up whatever was glowing inside. It was so beautiful.

_“Like… You’re stuck in some miserable abyss and you’re so deep you can’t even see the light of day.”  
_

The tears were really spilling out now. She wiped at her cheeks in vain, hoping that her face wasn’t turning red. Marnie too had given up and fallen to tears.

It truly felt like it was all over… They had lost him.

And then she heard it.

That terrible, heart-wrenching sob she always heard echoing from the woods when it rained.

Her eyes darted to the dark window. She looked back to Marnie and Lewis, but they hadn’t noticed. The animal -or whatever it was- moaned again.

Curious, Stella approached the window and squinted.

All she saw was black. But it cried out again – something calling out to her through the rain.

Stella heard the crying often when it rained. One time she decided to follow the sound. It led her through the woods, deeper… deeper…. Until she couldn’t go any farther. There, coming out of the cliffside, was a sewer grate and inside… She thought she saw something move. It scared her so bad, she refused to go back.

The thing cried out again.

Stella clenched her fist- was it trying to get her attention?

“Stella?” Marnie gasped as she threw open the door.

“I’m going to try something.” Stella said, she grabbed her torch and went head first into the woods.


	9. The Cliff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stella finds Shane at the cliffs and has to find a way to talk him back from the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would hope that the tags are enough of a warning, but I will add another warning here that this chapter is all about Shane's suicide attempt at the edge of the cliff (an event that happens in game). I feel it is important to include the suicide hotline should anyone need it: tel:1-800-273-8255 (I believe this is for the US only. For anyone in Japan - like myself - looking for an English hotline, you can contact TELL at https://telljp.com/lifeline/ )

The rain became even louder in the woods, pelting against the leaves in the tree. Stella was completely soaked through, but her torch blazed on through the storm as she passed one shadowy tree trunk after another.

The creature continued calling to her, getting louder and louder as she grew closer. Of course she was afraid. It was the dead of night in the woods in a rainstorm… And she was following the sound of something crying out in the night. She had no idea what she might find.

Soon she had reached the cliffs. Her torch could only illuminate the edge before it dropped off into darkness. Below her she could hear the roil of the ocean, water pouring from the sewer grate. A shiver ran up and down her body…

What if Shane had jumped?

She nearly dropped the torch from her fingers at the thought. If he jumped… they would never find him…

No. He had an entire crate of Joja Beer with him. He would have at least left that behind. She threw the torch around, looking for a sign of the crate, the cans of beer…

The light of her torch caught something – something shiny… Something blue…

She charged after it, “Shane!”

\--------------

Shane was so drunk, even for him. Empty cans, cans half drunk, cans that were open but still full littered the ground around him like offerings to a grave. He had consumed so much he could hardly move, trapped facedown in the mud while rain pooled around him. And yet he was still awake, and painfully lucid.

It was the abosolute worst. Everything was the absolute worst...

He slowly lifted his head from the ground, looking over the edge of the cliff. He reached out for it when he heard someone shout his name.

At first he thought he was dreaming, but the voice called out again; "Shane!"

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Stella emerged like a beacon in the darkness, “Stella…?” He gasped.

_She came after me…?_

With what energy he could muster, Shane pushed himself up to see her better. She was drenched, her hair was like a wet mop, her face was bandaged, but she looked just as beautiful as the day he met her.

He fell apart when he saw the damage to her nose, “I-… I’m sorry…. –hic-“

\-------------

Stella rushed to his side, accidentally hitting piles of empty beer cans which clattered loudly against one another as she planted her torch firmly into the ground. She looked around at the innumerable Joja Beers...

“Shane…” She whispered, trying to measure the damage. How could anyone physically drink this much?

Clearly, he couldn’t, because just as she was thinking this, Shane gurgled and began retching. She put a hand on his back to help him through it as his body desperately tried to rid itself of the poison, then offered him a rain soaked rag from her bag when he was finished. It wasn't much help; a rain soaked rag wouldn't be enough to wash off the mud and the sick. He was soaked through and cold to the touch. The stench of beer was strong, even in the rain. And he was scraped and bruised from where he was stumbling around drunk.

He looked somehow worse than he had at the Saloon. Her heart was broken.

"Shane..." Her eyes got hot.

Her emotions got the better of her, and without thinking she asked, "How could you do this to yourself?"

They locked eyes, and he gave her the saddest look she had ever seen, “M… My life…” He was finding it hard to coordinate his mouth to form words, “It’s a pathetic joke…” His eyes rolled to the cans upon empty cans. His hand clutched his mud soaked jersey, tthe rag...

“Look at me… Why do I even try?” He couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, he hiccupped and let out a sad cry, “I’m too small and stupid to… to take control of my life… Just a piece of soiled garbage-“

He suddenly lurched like he was about to puke again. Stella jumped forward, ready to grab him as he was dangerously close to the cliff's edge, but he stayed on solid ground. He gagged, but there was nothing left in him to throw up.

“Shane… You’re not garbage… You’re-“ She struggled to find the right words, unsure of how to help him.

His eyes wandered to the cliff’s edge. Stella’s muscles tensed.

“I’ve been coming here often lately… Looking down.” He said, "Here’s a chance to finally take control of my life… These cliffs…”

She didn't even dare to breathe.

“B-B… But- -urp.“ He burped, “I’m too scared… To anxious… Like always.”

She relaxed a little; maybe he wouldn’t do it.

Stella looked around at the empty cans… _So you wanted to drink yourself to death instead?_ The whole situation was making her sick. She opened her mouth to say something, desperate to help him, but found herself speechless. Why now of all times did she have nothing to say?

And suddenly he was looking at her again; her heart jumped into her mouth, “Stella…” He whispered.

The way he said her name, the way he was looking at her... A strange feeling swelled in her chest; an emotion she couldn't identify.

“All I do is eat, sleep, and drink t-… to dull the feelings of-“ He cringed, “Self hatred.”

“Shane…” She tried to embrace him but he pushed her away.

“Why should I even go on? Tell me… T-Tell me why I shoudn’t roll off this cliff right now?”

Her gut reaction was to say that there was so much to live for! To convince him that life was worth living! But she knew that was a cliché and pointless thing to say. He was too deep in his sickness to see what there was to live for.

But what about Jas? He had to live for Jas right?

She was about to say that, but then thought better. Maybe… Maybe he thought Jas would be better off without him.

She swallowed hard, trying desperately to think of the right thing to say, the words that would save him.

_“You cannot save me!”_

…

He was right. She couldn’t save him.

He had to save himself.

She remembered meeting her grandfather in the sky. He didn’t tell her about all the things she should stay in Stardew Valley for… He just told her how much he believed in her. That whatever she did, whether it was to leave Stardew Valley or to stay, it would be the right decision.

And that’s what Shane needed to hear.

She cautiously moved closer to him. He curled back from her, moving even more dangerously close to the edge.

She took a deep breath, afraid of what she was about to say, “Shane. The decision is your own.” She opened her arms to him, “Just know that I’m here for you.”

\---------------

He had to admit, he wasn’t sure what she would say. But he wasn’t expecting that.

Did she… trust him?

His heart pounded. He looked at her open arms.

He wanted to stay alive. He wanted to stay alive and see her again.

“Stella…” The tears were spilling out, but this time it was less because of sadness. He couldn't believe it. That even with everything she still trusted him and believed in him.

“Thanks…I-.. I appreciate that…” He wiped at his runny nose, “I really do…”

The rain was finally starting to subside. On wobbly arms, he looked over the edge of the cliff into the darkness. He knew he wouldn’t jump… But he also knew that he couldn’t do this anymore. It was time to get help.

Just as he was thinking this, his vision started going dark. He could feel his entire body suddenly growing very weak.

“Stella…”

“Yes?”

He was fading fast, “I think you should take me to the hospital now…”

He suddenly fell forward toward the cliff. Stella jumped and grabbed him, pulling him back from the edge.

“Shane!” She shouted, but her voice sounded like it was miles away, “Shane!!” She shouted, even farther now as he faded into black.


	10. Zuzu City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane wakes up in the hospital and, after reflecting on what happened, makes a very important decision.

The next thing Shane knew was blinding light. It was so stark and unnatural, his gut reaction was that he was waking up in the Joja Mart.

But it wasn’t that at all. He was in the hospital, still dressed in his wet, muddy clothes, IV drip in arm, heart monitor on his finger registering his heartbeat with a rhythmic “beep-beep-beep”.

He blinked a few times; his eyes were pretty crusty from what he assumed was a lot of crying. He turned his head to find a worried looking Marnie sitting next to him.

“You’re awake!” She said, tears spilling down her cheeks.

And that’s when he realized he had fucked up.

In an instant, all the memories from the night before rushed back to him. Yelling at Stella in the saloon. Running over to Joja and grabbing more beer than he could carry. Unloading can after can into himself as he dared himself to jump.

Lying down in the dirt, hoping he would just die from exposure or alcohol poisoning. Stella finding him in the woods. Their conversation before he blacked out.

And now he was here.

Dr. Harvey walked in, “You’re awake!” He said much too cheerfully, “How are you feeling?”

Shane gave him an incredulous look; _how do you think?_ He was about to say, but one look from Marnie made him hold his tongue. He had to stop acting like this.

“I’ve been better.” He said simply.

Dr. Harvey checked some of the machines he was attached to, ticking off items on his clipboard, “Last night you arrived here in serious condition.”

Shane was quiet. He was usually ready with some kind of snide comeback, but he felt maybe this time it would be best to just listen.

“Your BAC was over .3%” He explained.

“What does that mean?”

“It means you were suffering from alcohol poisoning.”

“Shane-“ Marnie cut in, “When Stella brought you to the ranch you looked like- …you looked like a corpse!”

“Hm.” Harvey nodded, “The symptoms of poisoning are loss of skin color, shallow breathing, unresponsiveness…” He listed off, "Though Stella reported that, with her help, you had managed to walk yourself out of the woods before falling completely unconscious at Marnie's. Stella and Mayor Lewis both helped carry you here. You have both of them to thank. Even a half an hour later could have been fatal.”

Shane stayed silent. He dropped his head low, feeling a cocktail of miserable emotions.

“You should take it easy today.” Harvey told him, "As long as you stay away from more alcohol, you’ll make a full recovery.” Then he carefully took a seat next to his bed, “But… Your Aunt Marnie and I would like to discuss further treatment for your mental health. I know a doctor in Zuzu City; she has a lot of experience.”

Shane didn’t look convinced. Harvey knew he had to change his approach.

“Shane.” He said, switching from a more professional tone to a personal one, “It doesn’t have to be this way. Many of her patients have made a full recovery and live long and happy lives. It can get better. And it’s never too late.”

Shane clutched the bed sheets. He still wasn’t convinced, but he knew Harvey was right. He couldn’t let it carry on like this anymore.

“Tell me more about this treatment?”

\------------------------

Stella was lying face down on her living room rug, groaning. Her cat Balou watched her disapprovingly from the sofa, swishing her tail back and forth.

“I never wanna move again.” She whined.

She had gotten up and out of bed, finally, to make herself some breakfast, but felt even this task was too much for her… And the floor looked so inviting. Her arms and legs were throbbing, not only from running all over the valley for hours last night but especially from that one final push to get Shane from the edge of the cliff and into Harvey’s office.

By the time she and Mayor Lewis had reached the town square, Stella’s arms were screaming. She was freezing cold and completely exhausted. She had pushed herself far beyond her limit, but they still had that last hundred feet to go.

She couldn’t give up on Shane.

She certainly didn’t regret it either. Harvey made it clear that any later and the consequences could have been fatal. After confirming Shane would be okay, Lewis encouraged her to go home and get some sleep.

She wondered if Shane was awake by now… She wondered how much he remembered…

Hopefully not too much. She couldn’t bear to think how awful he would feel for putting everyone through that. But she also hoped he remembered enough to finally convince himself to make a change.

She wondered if he remembered how sweet he had been as she carried him through the woods.

“ _You’re so strong, Stella…”_

Her cheeks flushed and her heart fluttered at the memory. On the floor she curled up a little, feeling almost shameful for being so flattered by all of his compliments _.  
_

_“I’m sorry I’ve been so mean to you. You didn’t deserve any of that. Thank you for being so kind.”  
_

_“You’re the strongest person I know. You never give up. You give me hope, Stella.”_

_W_ hat was this feeling growing inside of her? She wasn’t sure… But she found herself hoping and praying that Shane would come see her.

There was a knock at her door. Stella pushed herself up. She was still in her night clothes so she threw on a sweater so she was somewhat decent and slowly opened the door.

“Stella…?”

It was Shane. It took almost everything within her not to grab him and kiss him on the cheek. She was so happy to see him standing there, alive. He had had a chance to clean himself up, and he looked a million miles from the person he was last night and, most importantly, sober… If not hungover. Though his pink cheeks suggested that he was feeling perhaps a little ashamed.

“Hey… uh…” He looked down, scratching his arm nervously, “Oh man… How do I say this?” He swallowed hard, “I’m really sorry about what happened at the cliffs…That was… Embarassing.”

“Shane…” Stella said softly, taking a step toward him, “It’s okay. I’m just… so glad I was there to help.”

He looked at her and his cheeks became even more red, then he looked down again, “Yeah… me too.”

Stella couldn’t help but smile. She was so thankful to hear that he was glad to still be here.

He looked aside, as if gazing off into the distance, “I’ve… I’ve decided to see a therapist. Harvey got me in touch with one of his colleagues.”

“Shane…” She reached out a cautious hand, brushing his fingers. He allowed her to take his hand, “It’s for the best.” She said.

The blush was up to his ears now, he cleared his throat and pulled his hand away, “Anyway. I – uh – just wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And I want you to know that I’m going to take things a little more seriously from now on.”

Stella leaned against her door frame, smiling. Her heart felt so big. She was so happy to hear that maybe… maybe things would start to get better for him.

“I don’t want to be a burden to anyone…” He almost whispered.

She finally relented. She moved forward and wrapped her arms around him. She could feel his whole body stiffen, but, slowly, he lifted his arms and wrapped them around her. He was so soft and warm… And she realized, without the noxious odor of alcohol, he had a musky, earthy scent to him… Like fresh hops and dusty hay.

“Thank you, Stella.” He whispered.

She pulled away and looked up into his eyes; she realized she had never really looked at his eyes before, at least not when they weren't bloodshot or glassy. His eyes were dark but they were actually blue, and so very sad. She never really realized how tall he was either… He seemed so small before.

If things went well she realized that maybe there was a chance she could truly get to know him.

She gave his hands a squeeze, “I believe in you.” She told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all have picked up on some of my name references... :P
> 
> As always thanks for reading! I hope I haven't gone too overboard with the angst these past couple of chapters... (Though a lot was pulled directly from the game itself) And though this might seem like the climax of this tale, I assure you that there is more to come ;)
> 
> Also I want to apologize again that I've been slower to update; I've been on vacation back home for the first time in almost 3 years and this fanfiction has been a low priority while I catch up with things in my home country. I'll be heading back next week and will start updating at a more regular pace then!


	11. Stardrop Fruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Shane is way in a Zuzu City rehab, Stella's relationship with Sebastian really takes off... But she finds herself confused. Doesn't she love Sebastian? Why doesn't it feel right? In the meantime Shane returns to a valley a different man, but is reluctant to be reunited with Stella.

Time passed while Shane was away... Stella danced with Sebastian at the Flower Dance. She commissioned Robin to upgrade her coop and build her a barn, then she purchased many new animals. Spring turned to Summer and Stella found herself at the beach Luau with Sebastian as time got away from them.

This year the Luau went late as the folks in the valley partied on through the night. After indulging in a bit of drink, Sebastian and Stella snuck off to a quiet place together, alone, just out of sight from the rest of the folks of Pelican Town. They shared maybe a few too many kisses with each other…

After a considerable amount of time, Sebastian pulled his lips away and whispered, “Come with me…” They snuck back to Robin’s and Sebastian rolled out his motorbike.

“Hop on.” He said, “I want to show you something.”

Sebastian took her out on his bike. She held onto him tightly as he thundered through the night, rolling over dark hills and swerving around turns.

She was completely swept off her feet.

They stopped at an overlook, and Sebastian leaned against his bike, lighting a cigarette as Stella approached the ledge. Zuzu City twinkled below, glittering like the stars above.

“What do you think?” He asked.

It was beautiful, but also strange. The memories of her life there were sad and difficult. And she knew Shane was down there, somewhere.

“The city used to draw me in…” Sebastian said, “But now…” He smiled, “I’m finding myself happier at home in the valley.”

Stella couldn’t help but smile too. She and Sebastian were always at odds with how they felt about Stardew Valley and she was glad that he was finally starting to see it the way she did.

“Stella…?”

He was looking right at her with an odd, vulnerable look in his eye. It reminded her of Shane.

“I’ve…” He scratched the back of his head, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before…” He actually blushed a little.

Stella's heart leapt into her throat.

“You know what I’m trying to say, don’t you?” He asked.

They shared an awkward silence, then he slowly approached her. Her eyes fell to where his neck met his collarbone, teasing out from his sweater. How much she loved kissing him there… 

He wrapped an arm around her hips, pulling her close. They shared a deep, intimate kiss. When he pulled away he asked, “Stella… Can we be… official?”

\---------------

“And you said no?”

Stella threw her hands up into her hair as if she was trying to rub out the memory, making a terrible knotted mess on her head, “Ugh! I know! I know I know. It makes my skin crawl!”

She was sitting down in the smelly sewers with Krobus, the strange shadowy spirit who lived there, selling odd otherworldly goods. Krobus tilted their head curiously, “I do not understand you humans. I thought you said that you wanted him to ‘take you seriously’.”

“I know! I know what I said – I just-…” Stella thought back to the kiss on the overlook, “It didn’t feel right.”

“Why? Did he kiss you wrong?”

“No. Not that kind of feeling.”

“Was his hand in the wrong spot?”

“No! Krobus in my heart!” She put her hand to her chest.

“Were you having a heart attack?”

She rubbed her temples, wondering why she decided to confide in Krobus. She felt Krobus was good to talk to since, unlike everyone else in the valley, they were a good friend who wasn’t really involved.

But… They didn’t really seem to understand a lot of human emotion and behavior.

She folded her arms, “I mean like... I don’t know if I _like_ him like that.”

“Why not? He likes void eggs. Krobus likes void eggs.”

“He’s not dating _you._ ”

“You don’t like void eggs?” Krobus didn’t have many expressions, but Stella certainly recognized the look of shock and disgust.

“I-…I don’t feel one way or the other about them, but that’s- …that’s not what’s important! Two people can like the same things but still not-“

_Like each other._

Krobus shook their head, “I will never understand humans. You are too confusing.”

Stella rolled her eyes, “You’re no help.”

“Help? Is help what you want? Why didn’t you say so!”

Stella felt like she was going to lose it, but decided to hear Krobus’s offer:

“Stella should buy a stardrop fruit. The stardrop will show you what your heart wants.”

Stella raised a brow, “A… stardrop?”

Krobus nodded, “When humans eat stardrops, it reveals their innermost desires. Maybe then you will see how much you like void egg.”

“I thought they weren’t real? That they were just a legend…?”

Krobus didn’t have arms, so shop items would appear before the shadowy spirit in a puff of smoke. And sure enough, with one loud pop! A pretty glittering stardrop fruit appeared in front of her.

Stella was completely dazzled. The legend was real! And right here was the answer, it would reveal what her heart truly wanted.

“That would be 20,000 gold please.”

“20,000!?” Stella gasped.

There was no way she could pay for that.

She put on a smile and clasped her hands together pleadingly, “Can’t you give me a friendly discount?”

“Yes! For friends the cost is 40,000.”

“That’s not a discount!”

“It’s a special price for friends, because friends are ‘nice’ and pay more.”

Stella threw up her hands in defeat, “That’s not how ‘nice’ works! And I can’t pay for that!”

“Suit yourself!”

The stardrop poofed away.

Stella grumbled to herself, suddenly finding the sewers to be a bit _too_ smelly and a bit _too_ humid. She picked up her backpack, “Alright, well, I gotta go.”

“Before you do, has the sad man come back?”

“…Sad man?”

“Yes. The sad man who drinks too much.”

“Shane?”

“Yes. The sad man.”

“That’s not very nice of you.”

“What’s wrong with that? He is a man, and he is sad, and he drinks too much.”

Stella didn’t want to argue. She rubbed her eyes, “No… No he’s not home yet.”

“Well. Let Krobus know when he is.” The shadowy figure wavered with some concern, “Krobus wants to know that he’s okay.”

Stella thought back to that night. How she followed the sound of a wailing creature to Shane’s location by the cliffside. She found out later it was Krobus calling out to her. From their spot in the sewer grate Krobus had seen the whole thing. If it wasn’t for Krobus, Shane could be dead.

She smiled, remembering again why she was fond of the shadow being, “Of course, Krobus, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Thanks, Star Lady.”

“Now that’s a _much_ better thing to say”

Krobus blinked, confused, “I will never understand humans.”

\-------------------

What she didn’t know was that just above their heads, the "sad man” had actually just come home. Shane stood out front of Marnie’s door, bag slung over shoulder, feeling like the prodigal son.

The last time he was here…

He winced at the terrible memory and slowly opened the door. The shop was empty, but the door hit against the shop bells, alerting Marnie to his presence.

“Coming!” He heard her shout from down the hall.

He took a deep breath. He knew it would be hard to come home… But things were different now.

Marnie came down the hall and stopped upon seeing him, “Shane?”

He smiled nervously, “Auntie.”

She broke into a run and nearly clobbered him to the ground with a bear hug.

"Oof!" He gasped, then chuckled, “I’m happy to see you too.”

She pulled away, looking him up and down, “You look… happy!” She smiled, “ _Unusually_ so!”

He smiled, “Yeah. You’re right. I haven’t felt this light since I was a kid.”

Marnie looked absolutely thrilled, but then her face sank, “…Did Gus have some kind of clearance sale on canned beer?”

Shane felt his confidence drop. Of course… The only other time he’s probably looked this cheerful was when he was drunk. Before this kind of comment might have caused him to start spiraling, to fall into that hole of self loathing and self hatred, the hole that led him to drink…

But he wasn’t that person anymore.

“No, actually.” He said, “I’ve been drinking sparkling water now, _for real_ this time.” He smiled again, “And I feel great.”

Marnie was just beaming. She gave him a hug again, and he hugged her back saying, “I’m sorry… I was in so deep… I forgot how many people cared about me.”

“Shane, if you _ever_ feel like that again-“ She choked up, “Please don’t be afraid to reach out to me. I’m your auntie. I took you in when you needed me… I’ll always be here for you.”

Shane felt his eyes get hot with tears, “I know, Aunt Marnie… At least… I understand that better now.”

They pulled away from each other, Marnie wiping tears from her eyes.

“Where’s Jas?”

\---------------

Nervous.

Shane stood at the door of the saloon, staring into the woodwork as if he were trying to see through it. All the times he remembered entering through this door, but not leaving. He sighed; those feelings of self loathing still so close to the surface. How bad it had become…

But he didn’t want to be afraid of his past. He knew he had to do this, and he knew he wanted to face them.

He took the door handle and pushed with a creak.

The saloon wasn’t that busy, yet, but it was still early. The same old timey music Gus played every night filled the space while he and Emily busied themselves behind the counter. But they stopped when they saw him.

“Shane?” Emily gasped.

Gus beamed a friendly smile, “Well if it isn’t the man himself.”

Pam was already sitting at the bar with a beer in hand, “Shane!” She laughed, “Why don’t you come and share a drink with an old friend.”

Shane approached the bar shaking his head, “Sorry, Pam, I only drink sparkling water now.”

Emily and Gus both looked so proud of him. Enough to actually make him smile. Gus even reached across the table and took his hands, “Shane. I-“

Shane was shocked to see the big guy getting emotional, “I cannot tell you how happy I am to hear that!” He broke down into dramatic sobs.

Emily patted Gus’s shoulder, “What he means to say is, good for you, Shane. We were all rooting for you!”

_They were?_

He remembered how he was so convinced they all hated him. How he refused to see how worried they all were… How much they actually cared.

Emily slid a sparkling water to him, “And how about one of Gus’s famous pizzas to match?” She winked.

“Ugh.” Shane groaned, “That would be _amazing_. Would you believe in all of Zuzu City there isn’t even _one_ good pizza place?”

“Of course not!” Gus boomed.

Shane laughed. Emily and Gus looked at each other, unable to hide their happiness- when was the last time either of them had heard Shane laugh?

As Gus prepared his pizza, Shane looked around the saloon anxiously. The same crowd was there, but someone was notably missing.

Stella.

Stella would always show up at the saloon after her daily adventures… And he wouldn’t be sitting there now if it wasn’t for her…

“So, uh…” He cleared his throat nervously, trying to sound as calm and cool as possible, “Where’s Stella?”

Pam gave a low chuckle, “Oh ho ho ho~ Probably canoodling with Sebastian! Saw him whisk her off her feet on that motorbike of his after the Luau.” She leaned over to him, her raspy voice getting real low, “Wouldn’t be surprised if the two are romping around in the mountains up there.” She elbowed him playfully, “Eh? Am I right?”

Emily frowned at Pam and quickly countered, “That’s probably not true. Stella has been working on some project... With the community center? She’s probably busy doing that right now.”

Being rather perceptive, Emily had long ago picked up on Shane’s feelings for Stella, and she didn’t want Pam to trample all over them while he was still so vulnerable.

But Shane already looked defeated. He smiled sadly into his sparkling water. Of course. It figured. He never had a chance with Stella anyway, not after everything that he did. It would be absurd. And especially not since he left the Valley for so long. He was heartbroken, sure, but he knew it was for the better.

He really needed to figure out himself anyway before he started any sort of relationship with anyone.

He looked up at them and smiled, “Well, whatever she’s doing, I’m glad that she’s happy.”

Emily looked heartbroken for him, but Pam didn’t notice any of this, drunkenly throwing an arm around his shoulder and cheering, “That’s the spirit!”

\----------------

It was the first time in a long time that he actually left the saloon completely sober.

He walked through the woods back to his house watching the fireflies dance around his feet and listening to the crickets singing quietly from the reeds. Had it always been this lovely in summer? It filled him with an odd feeling of nostalgia and he realized that the last time he truly appreciated a summer night was when he was a kid.

He walked out on the dock on the pond by their ranch. He remembered all the nights he would come out here, dipping his feet in the cool water and only seeing a dark abyss staring back at him, but now…

He dipped his legs in and swished them around.

It was still there – the glowing algae.

So much beauty. So much beauty his depression had made him blind to.

He closed his eyes and thought about Stella…

He knew he should go see her. Let her know that he was back. It was the least he could do after everything she did for him. But he felt so confused about his feelings toward her… And he knew he was still so vulnerable. He didn’t want to do anything that could trigger a relapse.

 _“It’s okay...”_ His therapist had told him, _“It’s okay to take baby steps.”_

He decided he would see her when he was ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long wait between this chapter and the last.... Life got ahead of me but I am ready to start updating this regularly again. :)  
> Also, it might sound like from this chapter that Shane has made a full recovery... Never fear, my dear readers, for Joja and Morris are still in the valley and Shane's smarmy boss will be no less relentless. It's not quite over yet for our protagonist. ;)


	12. Joja Bluus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stella and Shane are finally reunited and Stella is blown away by the "new Shane", but will it be enough for her to realize her feelings?

It was back to work at Joja… And Shane was dreading this more than visiting the Stardrop Saloon. He could see his reflection in the glass doors of the Joja Mart entrance. Back in his blue uniform. Back to the same meaningless drudgery day in and day out.

He could already feel himself slipping. This was the ultimate test.

 _“I believe in you.”_ He remembered Stella saying to him. Those words had carried him throughout all of his therapy.

He took a deep breath, "Okay." Then walked through the automatic doors.

Sam was dancing around with his mop, as usual, but he stopped when Shane came in and gave him that characteristic devilish smile, “Shane! My man!” Sam came up and gave him a high five, as if they were old friends, “I am so glad you are back! I’ve been having to do double shifts to cover your inventory work and damn…” He cracked his back, “I don’t know how you do it!”

“You need to lift from your legs, not your-“

“Shane!”

They both turned as Morris plodded up to them. He was smiling, but they could both tell that he _wasn’t_ happy. Morris grasped Shane’s hand in both of his, with a grip was so tight Shane could feel them his rings digging into his skin; “It’s such a pleasure to have you back.”

Shane was sure it was a lie, but he thanked Morris anyway.

“You have a _lot_ of work to catch up on.” Morris playfully scolded him, smile still plastered to his face, “And you owe Joja a lot of money for your therapy fees! Ha ha ha!”

It was not a funny joke, and neither Shane nor Sam were laughing.

“Now, get back to work before I dock your pay.”

And soon Shane found himself lost in the aisles again…

_One jar of pickles. –beep-_

_Two jars of pickles. –beep-_

_Four jars of pickles. –beep- …_

_Ten jars of pickles. –beep-_

Slowly yet surely he began falling into the same monotonous routine he had been doing day in and day out for years under the sterile lighting of the Joja Mart. And just like before, as he restocked aisles, counted the inventory, mechanically scanned item after endless item with a "beep", his mind began to wander...

_One box of cereal. -beep-_

_This is so boring._

_Two boxes of cereal. -beep-_

_A beer would make this go faster._

_Three boxes of cereal. -beep-_

In the corner of his eye, he saw the little blue cans lined up in pretty little rows. He could taste it in his mouth and on his lips. He stopped what he was doing. Took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair.

This was dangerous. He wasn't even through his first day back and already he was thinking about when he could have this next beer. He needed to do something to keep from falling back into his old ways...

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a flyer: _Joja Video Advertisement Contest! 10,000 Gold Prize!_

Huh. Maybe that was something he could set his mind to.

\-------------------

Stella never really enjoyed her visits to the community center. It had that creepy vibe that all abandoned buildings had. It was always creaking and groaning, the wind blowing harshly through its gaping holes, brushing against forgotten rusted wind chimes that tinkled quietly around the cavernous space. Vines crept in from broken floorboards and holes in the walls. Water damage gave the whole building a moldy stench… But it was the evidence of fire damage that left the creepiest scars.

And just at the edges of her vision Stella could swear she saw odd little spirits, just dancing out of sight.

She shivered from head to toe.

“Okay!” She rallied herself, “Just get to the vault and pay your fee and then you can get outta here.”

She went to the old busted vault with a heaping bag of 25,000 gold. Of course she had considered giving it to Krobus to pay for that stardrop… But she decided this was more important. She plopped the bag of money onto the golden scroll and no sooner had she put it down when a happy little jumino appeared and collected it from her.

She took a deep breath, preparing for what would happen next...

The walls of the room began to loudly creak and sway, as if they were under great pressure and then, suddenly, the room burst with light. The walls glittered and changed, the vault bent and reshaped, rust and mold dissolved away and scraps of wallpaper seemed to lift from the floor and reattach to the wall.

And suddenly there she stood in a shiny, beautiful, fully restored vault.

This was not the first time she had witnessed a room in the community center undergo such a magical transformation but it always filled with the same enchanting feeling. Her heart racing, filled with childlike awe and wonder.

 _“Bus Stop”_ was written on the golden scroll in the middle of the room. There was a bus stop by her farm with no sign of activity. She wondered now if the bus line would start running again. It was an exciting thought. She grabbed her backpack knowing she wouldn’t be sure until tomorrow and started to head back through town to her farm.

In the town she spotted some folks that seemed to be filming a scene of some sort.

The man with the camera spoke; “Okay. Do you guys remember your lines?”

Stella couldn’t believe who was she was seeing. _What_ she was seeing. “Shane?”

He turned and looked to her and he was so different! His whole demeanor was so much less disheveled. He was sober, alert. He stood taller and looked so much brighter. The look in his eyes… No longer so tired.

\-----------------

Shane heard her voice before he saw her. There she was, in the flesh, the woman he had been longing for... "Stella?"

He wasn't sure how she would react upon seeing him. Would she be angry he didn't tell her he was home? Would she no longer feel friendly with him but instead angry with everything he put her through?

She dropped her bag, charged toward him, and clobbered him in a hug.

Shane could feel that he was beet red and there was nothing he could do to stop it. She clutched onto him like he might disappear if she didn’t hold tight enough.

“You didn’t tell me you came home…” Her tone expressed her hurt, “How long have you been here?”

Looking into her eyes was almost too much. The wild hair. The strong arms. She was exactly as he remembered her. Exactly as he had seen her in his thoughts every night before turning out the lights at his dorm in Zuzu City. And the way she held him...

He gently released himself from her hug, trying to keep himself in control, "I'm sorry," He apologized, "I should have told you right away. I've only been home a couple of days. I-" His voice got caught in his throat. The way she was looking at him... Had she always looked at him this way? 

“It’s okay, Shane. I’m just- I’m just so happy to see you looking so well.”

“Will you two hurry up!?” Clint huffed, “I haven’t got all day.”

\------  
  
Stella turned to see Emily and Clint standing on the path toward the river.

Emily waved, “Hey Stella! How’s your community center project going?”

Stella waved back, “Hey Emily. Pretty good, actually.”

Shane lifted the video camera, “Sorry!" He called back to Clint, "Let’s roll again- but Clint, will you remember your lines this time?”

“What are you guys doing?” Stella asked.

Shane fumbled with the camera as Clint and Emily got into position, “It’s a contest for Joja to make a video advertisement. The prize is 10,000 gold.”

“That’s pretty big money.”

“Yeah.” Shane shrugged, “But… I’m not really doing it for the money.”

“Oh?”

“I uh…” He scratched the back of his head, "Thought it would be a good project to set my mind to… Y’know… Therapist’s orders.”

Shane...? A _film maker??_

"Wow." Stella couldn't hide her surprise, "Shane, I-"

“We’re ready!” Emily interrupted.

Shane furrowed his brow, looking to Stella, "Sorry, Stella, could you wait a second?"  
  
She nodded.

He lifted the video camera, "Okay! Action!”

Emily expertly jumped into character, her cheerful demeanor replaced with a forlorn look, “I thought we had something special… I guess I was wrong.”

Clint, however, was stiff as a board, “I… I… Uh…”

“Cut!” Shane snapped. He put down the camera, struggling to hide his frustration, “That’s the tenth take, Clint!”

Clint grabbed at his head, “I’m sorry! It’s hard for me to remember my lines when her face is in front of me like that.”

Emily stuck out her tongue, “Should I look at you like _this?!”_ Then made a bunch of silly faces at him. Clint did not look amused.

While the two were distracted, Stella leaned over to Shane and whispered, “Shane, uh, you know that Clint has a huge crush on Emily, right?”

Shane just stared at her blankly for a moment, “Oh…" Then it clicked, "Oh!” He gasped, covering his mouth. He then burst into a fit of giggles, “Oh no!” He was trying to control his laughter so that Emily and Clint wouldn’t hear, but it was a losing battle, “I’ve put him in such an awkward position! Ha ha!!”

Stella was, once again, shocked. Shane was… laughing? And he wasn’t even drunk. She found she couldn’t help but laugh; it was infectious and she was just so happy to see him this way.

“What’s going on over there!” Clint snapped.

Shane wiped tears from his eyes, “Nothing!” He swatted a hand at them, catching his breath, “Nothing. I swear. Let’s try again,” Then he looked to Stella, “Hey, actually, why don’t you walk behind them. It will give the shot more authenticity.”

Stella frowned, “You think so?”

“Nope. But it will probably distract Clint so he can finally get his damn lines right.” He winked.

She had to say she was really loving this new Shane. She took position behind Emily and Shane let the camera roll…

\-----------------

_“I thought we had something special. You said you wouldn’t leave me for anything. I guess that was a lie.”_

_“No! It’s not like that. This is just something that I have to do. It’s very important to me…I_ _’ve just got to try new ‘Joja Bluu’ Cola!”_

Shane and Stella burst into laughter.

“It’s even more ridiculous to see it all put together!” Stella laughed.

They were sitting together in Shane’s room sharing a pizza and watching his commercial. His room was a still a mess but the smell of alcohol and sick was notably absent.

“If you don’t win that prize.” Stella said between mouthfuls of cheesy pizza, “Then I’ll eat my hat.”

Shane gave her a funny look, “Eat your hat? I would _pay_ to see that.”

She laughed at the joke then smiled as he struggled to get a particularly drippy piece of cheese into his mouth, “This is nice, Shane.”

He paused, his cheeks turning red. She loved how bashful he was. It was so easy to fluster him. Some things hadn’t changed.

She put a loving hand to his knee, “I’m so happy to see you doing so much better. I was so worried about you… We all were.”

He swallowed hard then cleared his throat, “I- uh… Thank you.” He looked away from her, “Thank you again for what you did…”

“Shane-”

He looked back to her.

“-I would do it a million times over.”

His face turned bright red and he quickly looked away again.

“Oh!” She laughed, prodding him in his side, “Stop being so shy!”

“It’s hard when you’re being so damn cheesy!” He shoved the whole slice into his mouth, “Worse than this pizza...”

She playfully kicked at him, knowing he was trying to rile her up, and he smiled in spite of himself.

Suddenly she remembered the day after Shane's night on the cliffs when she was lying on the floor, thinking of all the flattering things he had told her... How her chest had swelled... The feeling was there again. What was it?

Shane cleared his throat, “So uh… How’s Sebastian?”

_Sebastian._

And just like that the feeling was snuffed out like a candle.

Stella folded her arms and sank into the couch, “He’s… fine, I guess.”

“Oh? That doesn’t sound good.”

She threw her head back, feeling humiliated and ashamed, “He asked me to be his girlfriend.”

Shane looked puzzled, “Isn’t that… what you’ve wanted?”

“Yeah. But…” Her finger found her loose button on her overalls. All the other times she spoke about Sebastian in front of Shane he had complained about her being annoying: _“Ugh, I’m so sick of listening to your lovesick banter!”_

Would he still react that way? She decided to try and see: “I don’t know… It just didn’t feel right.” She said.

Shane looked down at the pizza, becoming very quiet, “Do you… uh… know why?”

“No.” Stella sighed, “I can’t put my finger on it. I… I really _, really_ like him… But I don’t know. Maybe we aren’t compatible.”

Shane mulled over this until finally he said, “Well, have you _actually_ hung out with him at all?”

“What do you mean? I see him all the time.”

“Whenever I saw you two together it was always flirting. Have you tried playing pool with him? Or any of his other games? Maybe next time you are at the saloon you should join their pool game. They are playing tonight, aren’t they?”

Stella was struck. Why hadn’t that thought occurred to her? She was always so busy trying to woo the guy she realized that she might have neglected to get to know Sebastian as a person… That might explain why their relationship felt so red hot but then when Sebastian wanted things to get serious she felt at a loss.

“Wow, Shane. That was… unexpectedly helpful.”

Way better than Krobus, at least.

“What?” He frowned, pretending to be affronted, “You think I don't know the arts of romance? You saw how well I played with Clint and Emily today.”

Stella laughed, “Yeah. I’m pretty sure you traumatized Clint.”

“Oh man. I feel like such an idiot,” Shane rubbed his head, “I should’ve known!”

“Shane-daddy?” They both turned, seeing Jas in the doorway in pink bunny pajamas.

Shane jumped to his feet, “Hey little lady, what’s up?”

“I can’t sleep.”

He picked her up, “Lemme help you to bed then.” He looked back to Stella, “I’ll only be a minute.”

She nodded.

As she waited for him she looked around his room. Now that alcohol wasn’t consuming his whole life she wanted to know what his _real_ hobbies were: there was a video game console. Some gridball posters.

Then she frowned; a 12 pack of Joja beer.

What was that doing here? Hadn’t he quit?

She got up and inspected the box. Thankfully it was unopened, but still, it was ringing alarm bells. There was a note on top of it with the Joja Co. letter head. She picked up the letter; it was from Morris, again. It was a welcome back gift.

Stella's ire rose and her fists crinkled the edges of the letter before she ripped it up into tiny pieces. She grabbed the box to remove it from his room. Just as she turned around, Shane quietly came back in. He saw the box in her hands and his face sank, “Oh… I… I’m sorry. I- I promise I haven’t been drinking. I was going to throw it away but I forgot when you came back with me.”

Stella was reeling, “He got you more beer? After spending all that money financing your treatment!?”

Shane looked away sadly, “Guess he wants me to pay back the bill somehow...”

Stella was livid, “Unbelievable.” She grabbed her backpack and crammed the box into it, “I’ll take care of it for you.”

“Thanks.”

She caught eye of his uniform laid out on his bed. She had been so happy to see him sober, to see him well, to see him as he truly was… It hadn’t occurred to her how easily this all could crumble. How he could relapse and fall back into his addiction. Especially at Joja with a relentless boss pushing it on him.

“Shane… Have you thought about quitting your job at Joja?”

He shifted his weight nervously, looking everywhere but at her, “Yeah… Of course… But…” He scratched at his head, “I don’t know… I’ve… I’ve just gone through so much and… I don’t know if I can handle any more big changes right now. I just want to take it slow… Also, I… don’t know what else I could do. I don’t know what other job I could take.”

Stella opened her mouth to argue – couldn’t he see what was going to happen!? Morris would keep chipping away at him until he cracked as evidenced by his latest “gift”!

But despite this she knew how daunting it felt to leave Joja. She remembered how even when she knew she _had_ to leave Joja Corp… She still couldn’t do it. Just the thought of it crippled her. It wasn’t until she had a clear out – the letter from her grandfather promising her the farm – that she felt she could finally walk out. So she didn’t argue, instead she sighed, “I wish I had enough money at the farm. I’d hire you in a heartbeat.”

His face lit up with that adorable blush, “Thanks Stella… Just tell me when.”

\-------------

After she gave Shane a hug goodbye and dumped the Joja beer into the nearest trashcan Stella went straight to the Saloon. She wanted to see Sebastian. Maybe, once again, they could repair things between them.

He, Sam, and Abigail were at the pool table as always. When she walked in, Sebastian was leaning over the table, getting ready to break the rack. She could see right down his shirt… She shivered, then clenched her eyes shut.

 _No. No lusting after him._ She scolded, reminding herself that she needed to get to know him as a _friend._

The trio looked over to her and as usual Sam was the first to greet her, “Stella!” He smiled.

Sebastian broke concentration and looked up to her. He was usually so good at hiding how he really felt but she could see that he was hurt. It broke her heart.

“Hey.” She said, humbled, “You… uh… got room for one more?”

The three looked at each other. Sebastian straightened up, giving her an odd look, “You… want to play pool?”

“Yeah.” Stella gave an awkward smile and thumbed the button on her overalls, “You like it so much, I thought I ought to get to know it.”

Sebastian tilted his head, unsure. But Sam was always keen, “The more the merrier!” He said, “Let’s do teams. Boys versus girls!”

“Ew.” Sebastian muttered, “I don’t want to be on a team with you.”

Sam looked heartbroken but the girls just laughed. Abigail rolled up her sleeve, flexing her bicep like Rosie the Riveter, “Let’s show these boys how it’s done!”

And so they all played pool together and it went really well! Shane's recommendation proved more helpful than she could have imagined. Before the night was over Sam had even invited her to join their next game day. Stella was beginning to feel more confident again and Sebastian, too, seemed to enjoy her company.

Maybe Shane was right. Maybe this was all they needed.

\---------------

Shane lay on his couch staring up at the ceiling. The urge to drink was the strongest it had been since the night on the cliffs…

_She doesn’t love you that way. She’ll never love you that way._

His conversation with her about Sebastian had solidified this fact. Only, it hurt even more to know that he wasn’t even on her radar as someone she could _potentially_ date. The way she talked to him about Sebastian made it clear… She might have liked him as a good friend but it hadn’t once crossed her mind that they could be something more. And of course. Why would it? He was the filthy town drunk with a bad attitude and a sorry existence. She cared about him, sure, but he just simply wasn’t dateable material. And that… really sucked.

God, how much he loved her. He hated how she had to find him at the cliffs like that. Even now it made his skin crawl to have been so helpless and raw in front of her. But seeing her standing in the rain after he was certain no one would find him, torch in hand like the shining beacon of a savior.

_She came after me._

The fact that she spent the whole night looking for him after he nearly broke her nose. The fact that she carried him all the way to Harvey’s. The fact that despite seeing him at his absolute worst she told him she believed in him.

He loved her so much.

The pining for her was reaching a painful pitch. How much it hurt to love someone and know they would never feel the same way… He wondered if Marnie kept any wine in the kitchen…

“No.” He scolded himself. He put pillows over his ears, as if to block out the sound of his mind whispering dangerous thoughts to him. He rolled over, trying to force himself to sleep.


	13. The Bus Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Stella sees the bus stop restored, she realizes a way she can help Shane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! For those of you who have been following along, I apologize for the long hiatus. The entire story is complete, so I will be posting regularly again. For those of you who have just found this fan-fic, please leave a comment! :) It's very encouraging and I love hearing your thoughts.
> 
> This is a short chapter, I apologize. But the next one is quite long and very eventful. Enjoy~

“998…” Stella counted, laying one gold coin onto a stack, “999… 1,000!”

Before her in a hundred pretty stacks of ten were 1,000 gold pieces.

She groaned, dropping her head on the table. Some of the stacks toppled over, tinkling to on the ground. She _had_ actually collected a nice little pile of cash… Until she donated it all to the vault. As lovely as it was to restore the Community Center she was starting to debate the practicality of it.

Wouldn’t the money have been better served elsewhere? She might have even been able to give Shane a job!

She glared at the small amount of cash, trying to will it into reproducing. But it just sat there glittering in the morning sunlight through the window. She used her arm to scrape the money into her bag, “Welp. It’s too late now.”

She threw on her back pack, grabbed her sunhat and wandered out. A few of her one time crops had born fruit and she wanted to invest in some more before Summer ran its course. She also had a game later with Sam and Sebastian. She smiled at the thought, wondering what kind of game it could be.

As she made her way toward Pierre’s Shop, she had almost forgotten about the bus stop…

“Stella!” Pam called out from the ticket machine.

Stella did a double take, confused at first, but then she remembered what the juminos had promised. She rubbed her eyes, not believing what she was seeing. A bus sat ready to be boarded, Pam leaning against the side mirror with a giddy grin, "Mornin’!” The older woman waved, “The old bus station’s finally gotten fixed!” She slapped the machine with a hearty pat, “Means I finally got my job back.”

“… You were the bus driver?” Stella asked incredulously.

Pam folded her arms, insulted, “What you suggesting, girl? I can’t drive a machine?”

“I- uh-…”

Pam laughed and waved her hand, “I’m just kidding, I know what you’re thinking but don’t worry. I take my job serious and you bet I’m going to cut back so I’m not driving drunk.”

Stella smiled, “Wow, Pam, that’s great!”

Pam beamed, “Well, if you think it’s so great why don’t I give you a lift over to Sandy’s? Sure she’d love to meet ya!”

“Maybe later. I’ve got some business to attend to today.”

“Well, alright then!” Pam whipped out a folding chair and threw on some sunglasses. She nestled in and opened up a rather risqué tabloid, “I’ll be right here, honey!”

Stella left, somewhat bewildered.

The juminos had fixed stuff around the valley, sure, but it never occurred to her _how much_ of a difference it could make.

…Could they help Shane?

Her heart began racing. Of course! If they could help Pam of course they could help Shane! Maybe they could fix something that would open up a job for him so he could finally leave Joja!

Stella raced to Pierre’s, eager to stock up on items she needed to fulfill the juminos requests.

_I know I can’t save you, Shane…_

_But it doesn’t mean I won’t try._

\----------------

Sunday was always a quiet night at the saloon. Emily was playing some odd game with some of the gems Stella had given her on the counter behind the bar. Gus was scribbling some new recipe ideas on a notepad.

And then Stella burst in; “Guys!” She shouted, causing both of them to jump.

“Stella!” Gus greeted her with his usual hospitality, “What brings you here on a Sunday?”

“The Community Center!” She gasped, “I- I think I can restore it!”

They both look puzzled but Stella didn’t care. She pulled out a notebook from her backpack, “See! See here!” She opened the book to a page of unruly scribbles.

“Uh…?” Gus smiled nervously, trying not to offend her. But Emily wasn’t so shy, “Is this English?” She asked, pointing at Stella’s chicken scratch handwriting.

“No! No it’s my plan! My master plan! I think I can get it all done in two weeks. I just need everyone’s help!”

At that moment, the door creaked open again. Gus looked baffled; Sunday nights were always quiet, where we all these people coming from? “Sebastian?” He asked, “Sam? What you two doing here? It’s not ‘Friday Night Pool’.”

Sam pointed at Stella accusingly, “We were looking for her! Where were you? You were supposed to play a game with us, remember?”

Stella put her hand to her mouth, “Oh my- … Oh, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot!”

Sebastian was simmering. He folded his arms and angrily puffed on his cigarette.

“But look!” She showed them the notebook, pointing at it frantically with her pen, “I promise you _this_ is more important! This… This could save the town!”

Emily leaned in, “Alright, Stella!” Chipper as always, “What do you need from us?”

Stella ripped a page from her notebook containing a list of items and handed it to Emily, “I need dying materials from you. And Gus," She pulled out another list for him, "Some quality ingredients.”

Gus took the list from her looking giddy, “Oh! This looks fun!”

Sam seemed to forget that he was annoyed. He was much more interested in the fun they were having, “Hey! Can I help!?”

Sebastian, however, stood near the door looking sour but none of them noticed.

Stella eagerly began filling them about restoring the community center and fixing other things that had broken around the valley. Then the saloon opened up again and Shane walked in. Stella lit up upon seeing him, “Shane!”

He gave her a tired nod, still in his Joja uniform. He sauntered up to the bar and fell into his usual chair. He took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes fell on the draft beer taps…

Everyone got quiet, all unable to mask their concern.

“Gus-” He tossed a coin on the table.

They all held their breath… Would he do it?

“-Sparkling water.” He said.

The room exhaled, everyone so relieved he didn’t order a beer.

“Shane…” Stella took the seat next to him, “What happened? You… You look terrible.”

He frowned at her in a way that was awfully reminiscent of the angry looks he had given her so many times before. But this time he softened, “I’m sorry… It’s just… work.”

She put a comforting hand to his knee, “You don’t usually work on Sunday, why were you there?”

Gus passed Shane his water and he slurped at it hungrily, “Morris is giving me extra hours. Wants me to make up the costs of rehab and what not.”

Stella closed her eyes, trying to contain her anger. She clenched her fist feeling all the more determined to restore that community center.

“Shane.” She said, “I promise, it will get better.”

He didn’t look convinced though.

“Shane?”

He looked away from her, but she could see that there were many things he wanted to say.

She took his hand in both of hers, “Shane, please, you can talk to me…”

Shane took a deep breath, “I… I want to believe that it will get better but… I don’t know.” He admitted, unable to hide his fear, “Working there is so… soul sucking. And now Morris seems to be extra demanding. I think maybe some higher ups have given him some heat because of how much I cost the company… And I just…”

She could see it. He was slipping. His eyes darted dangerously to the beer taps again.

“Shane. Look at me.” She gently turned his chin toward her, “Don’t give up hope. I promise, _promise_ it will get better.”

_Once I fix the community center. It will. I know it._

They looked into each other’s eyes for a good moment. Until finally Shane swallowed hard and closed his eyes, “Okay, I’ll keep trying…”

“I believe in you.” Stella reminded him, causing him to blush.

Sebastian could see what was happening. He rubbed out his cigarette, shoved his hands in his pockets, and left.


	14. The Community Center

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stella has finally restored the community center just as Morris gives Shane an offer he believes Shane cannot refuse. Confronted by his demons, Shane has to make a difficult choice.

Stella had completely forgotten about Sebastian. For the next couple of weeks she foraged for fiddle fern, fished for shad and sturgeon, and scoured her pastures every day to see if Peppa, her pig, had dug up any truffles. She collected sunflower, maki roll, and apples and hay from different villagers in the town.

And finally the day came that she was ready to pay her dues.

And how beautiful it had become. Stella stood in the community center after it was completely restored, starry eyed. The abandoned creepy building had turned into a lovely and inviting communal space. As she looked around she could imagine young Emily, Shane, Sam, and Sebastian running around in the different rooms. Evelyn quietly watching over them while rocking in a rocking chair, knitting in hand. Pam and Penny attending a cooking class run by Gus. Lewis and Marnie snuggled up in front of the warm fire.

And to think that Joja wanted to turn it into a warehouse.

She sniffled and the tears came streaming out hot and heavy. To think how much this little valley needed to be repaired… And not just the bridges or bus stops…

But the people too.

They all deserved it. They all deserved this space.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and headed for the door. Tomorrow… Tomorrow she knew, they would all find out…

And everything would change.

\-------------

Shane’s alarm clock buzzed. He dropped his arm on top of it, less dismissing the alarm and more smacking the clock hard enough to stop it from buzzing.

_It’s going to get better._

He willed himself out of bed and dragged his feet over to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

_It’s going to get better._

He put on his uniform and made the long walk to Joja, cool early-autumn air tickling his skin through his coat as he crunched along the leafy path to work, too early to see the sun. Too early to see anybody.

_It’s going to get better._

He entered the cold and uninviting Joja Mart. He walked up to the computer to punch in and stood there, finger poised, ready to clock in and he was just…

Frozen.

“It’s not going to get better…” He whispered to himself.

The dread climbed up into his throat. He remembered Stella at the bar promising it would get better… And he tried telling himself that everyday. Everyday for over two weeks that mantra got him out of bed and to work.

But it wasn’t getting better.

It was only getting worse.

The exhilaration of coming back after spending so much time in Zuzu City had worn off. He had returned to the same old drudgery day in and day out. Too tired to interact with anybody. Too tired to participate in any hobbies. He hardly had time to spend with Jas or Marnie he spent so much time at Joja. He had submitted the video for the competition and, well, that was that.

 _What can I do?_ He thought, _Quit?_

Somehow the thought of quitting felt impossible. Without thinking he punched himself in and went to the back to unload their latest delivery. As usual he began sorting boxes and stocking shelves. Tasks so mindless Shane lost all track of time. And this was his life, completely meaningless for at least eight hours a day… More so now that Morris was demanding he work over time.

His life was becoming nothing again.

He opened a box without bothering to check the label and was startled to find blue cans lined up in pretty little rows. Like one Pavlov’s dogs, he salivated. He lifted one of the cans and inspected it.

_Just one… Just one couldn’t hurt… Right?_

He dropped the can back into the box and closed it shut. He covered his face with his hand, trying not to lose it. How long? How long would it be until he sank back into his addiction again? He was starting to feel it was only a matter of time.

“Shane?”

Shane looked up from the box, trying to hide how anxious he was, “Morris.”

The man was standing in front of a lit up display of Joja seasonal Spirit’s Eve decorations that made his shadow to stretch down the floor to Shane’s feet. His face was silhouetted but Shane could see his teeth glinting in the dark, “Please, come to the back, I’d like to talk to you.”

\----------------

In the back was a small break room for employees to “relax”. It was a sad windowless space with a broken microwave, smelly fridge, grimey counters and one little table with two chairs. On the table were some boxes; a new product?

Shane stood near the door, arms folded. Was he about to be reprimanded? Fired? Part of him actually hoped he would be fired. Then he wouldn’t have to make the decision to leave for himself.

“Shane.” Morris smiled, “I’d like to offer you a promotion.”

That was probably the last thing he was expecting, “Uh… What?”

“You are such a hard worker! So along with inventory specialist you are now a quality control inspector!” Morris presented him a new badge to reflect this change, holding it out as if it were some kind of prize, “And, of course, this promotion will be reflected in your paycheck.” He winked.

“Oh.” Shane took the badge, “Thanks? So… What does the new work entail?” He had no idea what a ‘quality control inspector’ was. He wasn’t even sure if it was a real position.

“You check the quality of our new products before we put them on the shelves.” Morris explained, “Think of it like a taste tester.”

“Great.” Shane muttered, “I’ve been gaining weight anyway…”

“Hm?”

“Nothing.”

Whatever. At least it would make his work there a little more interesting.

“Anyway.” Morris pulled over one of the mysterious boxes, “Your new work starts right away.” He reached into the box and pulled out a glass bottle and clunked it down onto the table.

Shane’s heart sunk. _Now_ he realized what Morris was doing.

It was alcohol.

Morris didn’t seem to care as he poured a tall glass for Shane, way more than he could possibly need for a taster, “It’s a new product for our liquor department! Think of it like a gin and tonic. Our experts were trying to mimic the smoothness of sparkling water.”

Shane’s throat went dry as he watched the bubbles in the glass rise up from the bottom and break at the surface. It really did look like sparkling water…

Morris pulled out a chair for him, “Please sit down.”

Shane shook his head, “You know I can’t drink that.”

“Why ever not, Shane?”

“I’m an alcoholic. Did you miss the fact that I went to rehab?”

“Oh, surely one sip wouldn’t hurt?”

Shane slammed the new badge down onto the table, “I’m not doing it,” He turned to leave.

“Oh, but you _have_ to.”

Shane paused at the door, “What?”

“You still haven’t earned back all the money we paid for your treatment.” Morris explained, “And it will start earning interest soon. I thought this would be a good way to get those bills paid off quickly! What a shame it would be for you and your Aunt Marnie to get double the bill in the mail.”

Shane was shocked, “Are you… threatening me?”

“I’m only doing what our contract stipulates.” Morris said as a matter of fact, “Now, please, I’m _sorry_ that _this_ has to be your first product to test. But I assure you, you only need to take one sip.” He put up his hands apologetically, “And that’s that.”

“That’s that?” Shane asked.

“You have my word.”

Shane gave him a furious look… But he knew that Marnie only made enough to just get by… Which is why he took this job at Joja in the first place. So they could have just a bit more to live comfortably. She insisted that he go to get treatment no matter the cost. Despite that he was concerned about the bill, he went anyway. He couldn’t bear to think of her having to pay _twice_ the amount… All because of the stupid loan Joja had offered that was set up for them to fail.

It was just one taste.

Shane slowly and reluctantly took the seat. He looked at the bubbly little drink before him.

Morris pulled out a clipboard, “Alright, after you taste it-“ He adjusted his glasses, “You fill out a few survey questions that we send back to Joja. Since this is your first day on the new job I’ll fill them out for you, okay?”

Shane nodded.

“Go on then.”

Shane stared into the glass like he was staring at his inner demon. He slowly took it in his hand, lifted it to his lips.

Morris watched expectantly, unable to hide the thrill of it.

Shane could smell it; it was so familiar and so comforting. Just from _smelling_ it he could feel all of the tension in his back relax, the butterflies in his stomach settle.

_Just one sip…_

“Go on…” Morris quietly urged.

Shane closed his eyes and took a sip. The burn of alcohol was harsh yet familiar. It raced down his throat and immediately he could feel the sensation of intoxication rush to his head, evidence that he had lost his alcohol tolerance from being sober for so long.

“How does it taste?” Morris asked.

“Good…” Shane almost sighed.

“Is it sweet?”

“Yes.”

“Not too sweet though?”

“No it’s-“ _Perfect._

He found he was unable to put the glass back down.

“And the alcohol? It’s quite a high content, we’re afraid it might burn. Is it… smooth?”

Shane was quickly becoming lost in the feeling, “Yes…” he whispered, “Very.”

He watched the little bubbles popping. He wanted to feel the fizz on his tongue again.

“What would you say it tastes like? A gin and tonic?”

“I don’t know…”

“Do you need another taste?”

Shane didn’t even need to be urged. He took not a sip but a gulp; the sweetness, the burn, the rush of alcohol to his head. For the first time since he came back to the valley, everything seemed to feel _right._

“Gin.” He said, “Definitely gin.”

Without thinking, Shane hungrily downed the rest of the glass. He just wanted to feel it again… The tingling surge down his limbs to his fingers and toes. The way that everything loosened just a little bit. The way that everything just felt a little bit more manageable…

It was a high content. It was a tall glass. The rush of intoxication was fast and overwhelming. Pupils dilating, chest swelling, limbs loosening…

He put down the empty glass and stood up, “I- I should go…” He said quickly.

“Alright!” Morris put his pen down, “We’re finished anyway. Could you please dispose of the bottle?”

“Dispose of it?”

Morris pointed, “Sink’s right over there.”

Shane looked between the bottle and the sink, “The whole bottle…?”

“Oh, absolutely! It’s been opened. We can’t serve that.” Morris chuckled.

Shane looked between the bottle and the sink.

“Although…” Morris said slyly, “It is a shame to waste it, isn’t it?”

It was so obvious that Shane was caught in his web. He took labored breaths, as if he had run a marathon. He was in a losing battle with himself.

“Oh, go on then.” Morris slid the bottle to him, “You can have it for free, one of the perks of your promotion. Just make sure to drink it at home. I will not have you drinking on the job again.”

Shane stared at the bottle. He was trying so hard to _not_ to take it. Yelling at himself _not_ to take it. And yet… He found himself reaching for it…

Sam burst into the breakroom, “Guys!” He shouted, causing both Shane and Morris to jump, “You have to come see this!” He said excitedly, “It’s the community center! Stella’s done it! She’s gotten it restored!”

Morris gasped, “The what?”

Shane turned away from the bottle on the table.

“Wait!” Morris called after him, “You two cannot leave your positions!”

“C’mon, Morris!” Sam pouted, “No one’s gonna be coming in. Everyone’s at the community center!”

Desperate to get out, Shane followed after Sam. Morris grumbled and stamped his foot like a child but he too followed them out.

\-------------------

Folks were practically running up the stairs to the community center.

“Hurry up, Harvey!” Maru shouted from the top of the stairs, “You’ve gotta see this!”

Even Harvey had left his post at the hospital? There were balloons flying overhead. Mayor Lewis bought balloons? It all seemed a little over the top, but when Shane reached the top of the stairs even he found himself taken aback. Before him was the fully restored community center – no more vines, no more broken planks, and the clock was no longer stuck at “4 pm”, where it had frozen in time after the fire. Marnie was dancing out front, and Jas was playing jump rope not too far from her. The little girl lit up upon seeing him, “Shane!” She skipped over and gave him a big hug.

He smiled, “Jas.”

“You got off work, Uncle Shane?”

Shane glanced back at Morris who was huffing it up the stairs, “Sure did.” He lied, taking her hand, “Let’s go inside.”

Inside it was exactly as he remembered it, as if the fire never happened. There were fish in the aquarium, logs burning in the fireplace, Evelyn sitting on a couch knitting as always. Jas caught sight of Vincent and began chasing him around, filling the space with the same childlike laughter he remembered from his past. And everyone was there… Sam with mother and father, Abigail, Pierre, and Caroline… Emily and Gus stood by the bulletin board with Haley and Alex. When Emily caught sight of him she waved.

Before he could wave back Marnie put a hand on his shoulder, wiping a tear from her eye, “I remember… I remember you and Sam, Abigail, Sebastian and Penny… All when you were so small running all over this community center.” She hiccuped, snot running from her nose.

Shane pulled a rag from his pocket and handed it to her to blow her nose, feeling that she was being a _little_ melodramatic. And yet... He too couldn’t help but be enchanted.

He found himself looking into the past to a time in his life before the alcohol… Before Joja… Before he started feeling so sad. Back when he was happy. He caught sight of Stella standing in the center of the room with Mayor Lewis who was shaking her hand with a big smile.

_Did she do this?_

He remembered Emily mentioning Stella’s “community center project”… Had she been restoring the building?

Stella noticed Shane and they locked eyes. His heart pounded. The way she was looking at him… He wondered… _Did she do this for me?_

_No. Of course not what a selfish thought._

“My customers!” Morris gasped from the entrance.

Everyone turned to look as Morris dropped all decorum and glared around the room like an angry devil, “What is everyone doing _here_!?”

Pierre broke away from his family, heated and indignant,“How does it feel?” He got right up in Morris’s face.

“Woo! Fight! Fight!” Sam started trying to chant until Abigail grabbed him by his shirt collar, threatening to fight _him_ if he didn’t quiet down.

Stella looked concerned too, “Now now…” She raised her hands, trying to calm the two down, “Let’s be reasonable…” She tried.

The two shop owners stared daggers at each other until Morris smirked and turned away, “It’s of no consequence! I’ll just run a 75% discount sale and all my customers will come crawling back to me, you’ll see!”

“No…” Pierre shook his head, “ _Not_ this time.”

Morris faltered as Pierre turned to the spectators, “I remember when I first moved to Pelican Town this building was active and vibrant! We worked together to make the town a better place. There was a real sense of community.”

Marnie blew her nose loudly, moved by Pierre’s words. Lewis, too, took off his hat and put it to his chest as he listened. Pierre looked to George and Evelyn, “George, you always used to do crossword puzzles while sipping coffee in the kitchen.”

And, suddenly, Shane had a flashback.

Abigail was counting to twenty in the craft room and all the kids had scattered. With little time to think, five year old Shane quickly scrambled under the kitchen table, accidentally knocking George’s shin.

 _“Hey!”_ The old man had started.

But Shane gave him a desperate look, putting a finger to his lips, silently begging George not to give away his position.

_“Ready or not, here I come!”_

George looked between Abigail and Shane as the girl ran into the kitchen looking for him. Shane tried to curl up as small as he could under the shadows of the table.

 _“Excuse me, mister.”_ Abigail politely addressed George, _“Did you see anyone come in here?”_

Shane looked desperately to George, and the old man shrugged, adjusting his newspaper, _“Nope. You’ll have to try somewhere else.”_

Abigail left and George glanced under the table at Shane, giving him a wink.

Back in the present, George, now wheelchair bound, smiled, “The good ole days…”

Pierre turned to Emily, “And you, Emily, you wove that custom banner for the Stardew Valley Fair.”

Shane had completely forgotten about that. It was Emily’s first commission and she was so nervous. It was a big job for a twelve year old.

_“I can’t do it! It looks horrible!”_ She had cried in the craft room while Shane sat with her, trying to do his homework.

He had paused from his work and took the material from her lap, inspecting the unfinished banner carefully, _“What are you talking about? It looks great!"_

_“You really think so?”_

In the present Emily was looking at Shane. He wondered if she was remembering the same thing, “Yeah…” She sighed, “It was really fun.” She smiled at him.

“Willy!” Pierre turned to the old fisherman, “Remember that crab experiment that got out of hand?”

“Hehe… That I do," The waterman chuckled, "We showed up one mornin’ and the place was crawling with ‘em.”

Shane, Abigail, Sam, Sebastian, and Penny all exchanged looks. Penny blushed. Sebastian looked away as if he didn’t care while Sam and Abigail snickered under their breath. Even Shane couldn’t help but chuckle. They were ten years old and crabs were all over the floors. They chased Penny and Sebastian who were screaming in terror while Sam and Abigail urged the little crustaceans along, delighting in their panic. Shane had followed along behind them yelling at them to stop while trying to catch each little crab and return them to the aquarium before they got lost or hurt.

“But Gus saved the day with a brilliant idea…” Pierre went on, “A crab leg feast for the entire valley!”

Gus laughed, “I still dream of that garlic butter!”

And suddenly Shane could taste it. He remembered sitting outside the community center at wooden picnic tables, sad over the fate of his crabby friends but relishing in the taste of fresh, buttery crab meat.

“You see everyone,” Pierre addressed the crowd, “Our community is what makes Pelican Town special. When Joja Mart came to town we lost sight of that…”

Indeed. Shane was only sixteen years old and he wanted to start making money of his own to pay back Marnie for taking care of him over the years. He applied for work at Joja and slowly, too slow for him to realize, it began sucking his entire personality away.

His eyes got hot. He put his hand to his face and realized he was crying. He wiped at his face, hoping no one would see.

But Stella did. She had hardly taken her eyes off him…

Pierre turned to her, “Now... Thanks to Stella.” They all looked to her, “…We have a second chance.” Pierre gave her a quick smile then he turned to everyone else again, “I ask you all join me in boycotting Joja Mart!”

And with that Shane’s heart sunk.

Pierre pumped his fist in the air, “We have the power to reclaim our old way of life!” 

But if they boycotted Joja Mart Shane would be out of a job!

George chimed in, “I’ve lived here for too long to see this town go to ruin! You can count me in!”

Demetrius shouted, “I’m in!”

Gus next, “Me too!”

Caroline cheered, “Boycot!”

Robin, “No more Joja.”

Gunther, “It’s about time.”

Shane felt the color drain from his face. It was clear the whole town had turned against Joja. Morris looked to him. He felt like a mouse under the gaze of a cat.

Morris suddenly pointed at him, “What about Shane!”

And then all eyes were on him. Shane took a step back, wanting to hide in the shadows.

Morris swiveled around, “-And Sam!” He turned everyone’s attention to the other Joja employee standing with his family by the fireplace, “You say you care about your community, but _they_ would be out of a job!”

The villagers looked to Shane and Sam expectantly. Shane and Sam both looked at each other, lost for words. Then Sam turned his head to his mother and father. Jodie wrapped an arm around Kent’s waist and Kent nodded to his son.

Sam closed his eyes and slowly took off his Joja hat, “My dad’s home now…” He said softly, “I-… I don’t need to be the man of the house anymore.”

He tossed his hat on the ground.

And then, everyone turned to Shane.

_Oh. God._

He felt faint. He looked at everyone’s faces as they expected him to say something, _do_ something. But he couldn’t quit! Where would he go without Joja? What would he BE without Joja? Not only would he _never_ be able to pay off that loan but what would he _do_ everyday? Joja had become his entire life. He didn’t know who he was without Joja! He wasn’t ready to leave. He couldn’t leave. He-

He locked eyes with Stella. Unlike everyone else, her look was sympathetic, almost wistful. She gave him that same look she did that day when he stood on her front porch, a completely broken man.

_“I believe in you.”_

He cleared his throat and with it tasted the gin & tonic, the burn still fresh in his throat…

_“Just one sip…” It won’t hurt… Just one sip._

Guilt tickled the back of his neck. He could still taste it! He could still feel it in his body. Only minutes before coming here had he betrayed himself and drank poison.

…

_No more._

He couldn’t let Morris and Joja do this to him anymore.

He grabbed his hat and threw it on the floor, “Fuck. You.” He hissed.

“Excuse me?” Morris gasped.

“Fuck you and your dumb store. I don’t _care_ if I have to pay double my bill. I don’t want to be a worm under you anymore!”

Morris was shocked. Sam, who had witnessed much of Morris’s abuse toward Shane, joined in, “Yeah! We don’t want you here anymore!”

Caroline shouted from across the room, “Get out of here!” 

“Yeah!" Jodi agreed, "We don’t need your instant dinners or crappy produce anymore! We have Stella now!”

Even Gus, who was always so afraid of confrontation, folded his arms, fed up with how the man had treated both Shane and Sam, “It’s best if you get out of here.” He said sternly.

“Wee!” Emily cheered, “Let’s tie him up and railroad run him out of town!”

Gus immediately lost his thunder, “Now calm down, let’s not get too drastic…”

But Morris was already running to the door. The crowd followed after him jeering and booing.

Pierre laughed as Morris quickly shut the door behind him, “Don’t let the door smack you on the way out!” 

Everyone cheered. It was like the end of a film. Marnie threw herself onto Shane, hugging him and kissing him, “Oh Shane! That was so brave! I’m so proud!”

Shane was blushing like crazy, trying to push her off, “Okay! Okay great! Now get off of me!”

But she was relentless, practically swinging him around she was so happy.

“Hey Sam!” Abigail called, “They still have the old guitar here!”

They hooked it up and began to play. Gus went to the kitchen and prepared food and drink. Emily found decorations in the craft room. Very quickly a party had begun. Emily danced with Haley. Lewis with Marnie. Pierre and Caroline, Robin, Demetrius, Jodi and Kent. Even Evelyn and George had joined the boogie, Alex pushing George around on his wheelchair while Evelyn clapped along beside them.

Stella came up to Shane and poked him on the nose, “I _told_ you things would get better.”

Shane's heart was fluttering. He swallowed hard and asked, “Do _not_ tell me you did this on my behalf?”

“I did it on everyone’s behalf,” Then she leaned in close, taking his hand, “But…” She gave him a sly smile, “Maybe I was thinking about you a _little_ more than everyone else.”

Was she saying she liked him? Was it possible?

They looked into each other’s eyes and the noise around them became muffled. He felt his hands moving on their own. Slowly… carefully… He put his hands on her hips… Waiting for her to stop him. But she didn’t.

He looked at her lips. They were parted ever so slightly. He swallowed hard, leaning in closer, "Stella... I-"

“Stella!”

Pam yanked her out of his arms, “Come on! Join in!” They had made a conga-line snaking around the room.

Stella didn’t even look back at Shane as she was pulled in. He watched as she had fun with everyone else, as if that moment with him didn’t happen. Had he misread the situation?

He touched his lips which were still tingling. Not sure what to think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought they were gonna kiss, didn't you? :P Don't worry, my friends, we're getting closer~
> 
> As always, I hoped you enjoyed and please leave a comment!


	15. The Mermaid's Pendant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stella is told that she loves someone whose name starts with "S", and she doesn't know how to handle this information.

It was raining. Some might say not the best day for the beach but Stella knew that she could find lots of coral on rainy days and she was hoping to collect some for the Valley Fair the next day. She puttered about the beach, collecting one little pink coral after another until she looked up and realized she was being watched.

A man stood in the shade of the trees, watching her with icey eyes.

Stella yelped, dropping the coral in her hand and instinctively reached for her claymore sheathed on her back.

“I can see it.” The stranger said in a gravelly voice, “I can see it in your eyes. There’s a special someone in your heart.”

She slowly slid the claymore back into its sheath, “Excuse me?”

“I have an offer.” He opened his hand, revealing a beautiful blue spiraling shell. It seemed almost other worldly, “Mermaid’s Pendant.”

Stella wondered if it was from an actual mermaid.

“If you give that to your intended,” He explained, “They’ll know exactly what you mean.”

He handed it to her. It was small and weightless and yet it felt heavy in her hand.

“My intended?” She looked up but he was gone.

She stood in the rain, alone, with the strange little pendant in hand.

\--------------

“You know those fortune tellers are full of crap.” Shane said.

They walked through the Valley Fair together, following Jas around as she and Vincent ogled at different games and activities that had been erected in the Town square. Shane was carrying balloons and a large stuffed plush toy Stella had won for Jas. He whined the whole while about being a 'pack mule'.

“It’s not crap!” Stella shot back at him, “It doesn’t hurt to get a little guidance sometimes. Have you ever tried it?”

“No.” He admitted, “Was never really keen to hear about my future… You probably remember I was certain to not have one.”

With his hands full, she squeezed his arm, “Maybe you should try this year.”

He blushed, looking away from her, “I think I’ll pass thank you.”

They were standing in front of the fortune teller’s tent, “I’ll be right back.” She told him.

She waited until the little fortune teller invited her in before pulling back the curtain of the tent. It was dark inside and despite the walls being made of nothing but cloth it was quiet inside. The only source of light was a glowing orb in the middle of the fortune teller’s table. The orb was as big as the little fortune teller's head and she wore a blue hooded cloak that covered most of her body, all of which was making it hard for Stella to see what she looked like, “Please. Sit down.” The fortune teller squeaked, “But first…” She opened her palm.

Stella dropped some coin into her hand and took a seat. The Fortune Teller lifted her hands, “Now we can begin.” She began dancing her fingers around the crystal ball, “What is your inquiry?”

Stella reached into her pocket and put the pendant on the table. The fortune teller seemed to recognize it instantly, “A mermaid’s pendant.” She crooned, “That’s a very sacred artifact said to have been worn by mermaids themselves.”

So it _was_ enchanted.

“It was given to me by an old mariner…” Stella explained, “He said to give it to my intended.”

“Indeed.” The fortune teller agreed, “The mermaid’s pendant unites lovers and should only be given to the one whom you most truly love.”

“That’s the thing…” Stella said, “The old mariner said he could see it in my eyes. That there was someone I love. But…”

“But?”

“I- … I don’t know who he’s talking about.”

The fortune teller chuckled, “That is what the crystal ball is for, my dear… Now let’s look.”

Her dancing fingers became more frantic. Stella squinted into the smokey orb hoping to see any sort of answer.

“Ah yes…" The little fortune teller began, "I see you in the Stardrop Saloon… With a man by the name of-…”

Stella leaned in as the fortune teller squinted over her crystal in the shadows of the dark tent. But there was only silence for an uncomfortably long time…

“…By the name of…?” Stella asked, hoping to move her along.

“Ssssssss…” The fortune teller hissed.

“S?”

The fortune teller nodded, “His name starts with S.”

“Sebastian?” Stella perked up, “My future husband is Sebastian?”

The fortune teller lowered her hands, “That is all the crystal has to say.”

Stella’s finger played with the loose button on her pants. Was this their fate?

She swiped the pendant off the table, “Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

She exited the tent, her emotions a whirlwind. She cursed herself for not spending more time with Sebastian. She had gotten so caught up in the community center and helping Shane, she had completely forgotten about him… She couldn’t imagine that he would still be interested in starting a relationship with her. But then this pendant? Who would it go to?

“How was it?” Shane asked, still waiting outside the tent.

Stella quickly shoved the pendant in her pocket, “I think I need to talk to Sebastian…”

Shane raised his brows, “That bad?”

She gave him a playful punch, “Not funny.”

“Sorry.” He smiled, but it almost looked a little sad, “I couldn’t help it.”

“I meant to take your advice and really get to know him.” She said, “But then I got wrapped up in the community center.”

Shane seemed to be feeling for her. He nodded his head toward the back of the fortune teller’s tent, “Well, he’s right there if you want to talk to him now.”

Stella turned and sure enough there was the brooding goth, leaning against a tree with a cigarette.

“Yeah.” She shuffled her feet, “I ought to go.”

“Before you do.” Shane said, “Can you come by our place tomorrow? I want to show you something.”

“Of course!” Stella smiled before standing on tip toe and to give him a kiss on the cheek, “See you tomorrow!”

He turned bright red, “Agh! You’ll give me cooties!” He kicked at her, “Get outta here before your boyfriend gets jealous.”

Stella couldn’t help but giggle. But as she turned to face Sebastian the silly energy went away. She felt the pendant in her pocket and took a deep breath.

Here we go.

“Sebastian.”

The man looked at her curiously as she approached, “Stella.” He said flatly, before returning to sucking on his cigarette.

“We… I think we need to talk.”

“Do we?” He was obviously annoyed.

“I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you. I got so wrapped up in the community center, I completely forgot to make time for you.”

“Hm.” He finished his cigarette and snuffed it out with his foot. He pulled another from the pack. Chain-smoking, not a good sign.

“But the community center is finished.” She said, trying to lighten the mood, “And… And I’m ready to really take things seriously this time. I promise.”

He stopped mid-light of the new cigarette and gave her an incredulous look. He flicked his lighter shut and pulled the cigarette from his lips, “Wait. You are _still_ trying to make this work?”

Stella felt a little affronted, “Well… Yeah? I thought we had something.”

Sebastian looked baffled, “Are you kidding?” Then he frowned, “Stella. It is so obvious that you are in love with Shane.”

Stella was completely blindsided. He thought she was… _what?_

“Shane!?” She gasped, then she burst into laughter, “In _love_ with _Shane_?! What are you talking about! We’re just good friends.”

He raised his brow, “Wow. Are you _seriously_ that out of touch?”

She was not appreciating his rudeness, “I’m _not_ out of touch! Shane just… He needed someone to help him. Someone to believe in him…”

“And that someone has to be you?”

“Well who else would it be?”

“ _Anyone_ else, Stella!” Sebastian was almost shouting, “You are obsessed with him! Everything you do is for him. Don’t you see that?”

Was that… true?

She looked back to Shane. He was still standing in front of the fortune teller’s tent talking with Mayor Lewis. Jas ran up and tugged on his leg. He looked down at her and they exchanged some words before Shane jostled her prizes all into one arm just so he could use the other to take her by the hand.

So paternal…

“There.”

Stella snapped out of it, “Huh?”

“Right there.” Sebastian pointed at her eyes, “The way you were looking at him just now. You’re in love with him.”

The couldn’t help but hear the old mariner echoing in her mind: _“I can see it. I can see it in your eyes.”_

She opened her mouth to protest, but found herself speechless.

Was she… in love with Shane?

Sebastian could see she was confused. He sighed and lit the cigarette, taking a couple of hungry puffs before addressing her again, “Look. Stella. I like you. I like you a lot.” He brushed his hair from his face and gazed off into some unseen distance, “And… you have helped me learn to appreciate the valley in a way I couldn’t before. And I thank you for that.”

Abigail and Sam passed and waved at Sebastian to come join them for some carnival game.

Sebastian put out the second cigarette, “Once you’ve figured out what you want, let me know.”

He left. She watched him walk away from her, her heart yearning for him. But now, suddenly, there was another man in the picture…

And she didn’t know how she felt about _him._

\--------------

Stella had visited Marnie, Shane, and Jas many times before. She was no stranger to their home and visiting there was totally normal. Right?

Totally.

Normal.

As she entered the shop the bell rang against the door. Jas wandered in from the kitchen, looking nervous. Even though Jas and Stella had grown rather fond of each other, the little girl was clinically shy. She could hardly look Stella in the face, “Uncle Shane told me to tell you that he wants to show you something in the chicken house.”

Stella smiled warmly, “Thanks, Jas. I’ll go out there now to see him.” She went out back to their coop, walking past a small space for cows, goats, and some pigs. She stood in front of the coop and inside she heard Shane’s voice. She froze, unable to go through the door, and listened: “It’s the perfect home for you hens…” Shane said, “We’ll have the best eggs in the whole valley! Fresh and healthy, with rich golden yolks… Not like those pale, sickly Joja eggs.”

Was he talking to his chickens?

 _The dork._ She thought, unable to keep from smiling. She often talked with her chickens too.

Then he got quiet. Stella tried to will herself to open the stupid door when he began talking again: “You know, Charlie-" _Charlie? For a chicken? Is that a joke!?_ "-I was thinking. A guy like me is always teetering on the edge of despair… You know what I mean?”

_Oh Shane..._

Stella's heart swelled. His pain was her pain, only made worse by how much she wanted to help him. The pursuit to see him smile was all consuming! It was all she thought about; how can I help Shane? How can I make him happy??

Stella turned away from the door and pressed her back up against it, throwing her hands up into her hair. Her heart was racing. She remembered when he helped her bake Pink Cake, holding her arms and guiding the spatula along the rim of the bowl. She remembered on her front porch hugging him and smelling Cindersnap pine and maple syrup. She remembered in the Community Center his hands on her hips, eyes on her lips...

For crying out loud! Sebastian was right! She was in love with him!!

“Stella?”

She looked up and Jas was standing there giving her an odd look.

“Jas!” Stella gasped with an awkward laugh, “I- I was just going right in-“ She opened the door.

And there he was.

Kneeling on the ground, holding a chicken in his hands, and Shane's whole face lit up, “Stella!”

She saw him almost everyday but now, with her new perspective, it felt like seeing him for the first time: He was tall. Broad shouldered. Perpetual five o’clock shadow. Undeniably masculine yet there was always something so gentle about him. That ill-fitted jersey and ratty coat were so unfashionable but even they she had come to love. He was big. At least, much bigger than Sebastian. But who wouldn't be when your job was lifting heavy boxes all day? Only to come home and lift heavy bales of hay for Marnie's livestock. But he wasn't a cinder block, his body softened by a gentle padding of pepper poppers and cheesy pizzas. Like a giant huggable teddy bear.

And in that moment all she wanted was to clobber him to the ground and kiss him until he begged her to stop.

He gave her an odd look, "Are you... okay?"

She snapped out of it when one of the chickens pecked at her leg. She yelped and jumped, startling the poor chicken who fluttered to the other end of the coop. Stella noticed it was… blue?

Shane waved his hand to the coop, which Stella now realized was full of blue chickens, “Well, what do you think?”

She was struck, “Where did these come from?”

“Since Joja shut down… I ordered them in. Decided to start raising them.” Then he looked aside, scratching the back of his head a little nervously, “I felt like I needed some sort of income, since I –uh-“ It was clear he was struggling to find the right words, “…Don’t have a job with Joja anymore. And… I don’t want to feel like a leech on this world. I want to contribute somehow.” He then patted Jas on the head (who Stella had forgotten was there), “And, of course, pass on something to Jas here.”

It took a moment for Stella to compute what he was saying. Then she frowned, “You mean… Another job hasn’t opened up in the valley?”

He gave her a funny look, “No? Why? Do you know of a job opening anywhere?”

“But… The bus stop-“ She started; weren’t the juminos supposed to help him? She had restored the community center! Wasn’t everyone in the valley meant to have their happy ending now? It then occurred to her that she had _assumed_ that the juminos would have an answer for Shane. They never said they _did_ though. Her heart dropped.

Had she failed him?

The upset must have been all over her face because Shane gently took her by the hands, “Stella? Are you okay?”

She looked up into his eyes. He was so worried. The fact that he cared so much made her eyes water over. She couldn't help it! She had worked so hard on that community center for him, only to realize it didn't actually help, “I just thought-“ She wiped the tears from her eyes, a little embarrassed that she was reacting so strongly, “I thought when I restored the community center that it might open up another job. That you wouldn’t have to work at Joja… Not that you’d lose work entirely!”

He smiled, “Stella… It’s okay… You really _did_ help me… I…” He swallowed hard, “I don’t know what would have happened if I stayed working at Joja… I was trapped. I needed to get out. Even if it means being unemployed. And now look at what I’ve been able to do.” He gestured his hand to the pretty blue chickens, who flapped about with their silvery feathers. It was pretty. It was lovely. He seemed happy. She nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes, trying to get a hold of herself, “Yes. Yes Shane they are beautiful.” She said with a smile, “I’m so proud of you. You’ve come so far.”

But for some reason she simply couldn’t take it as an answer.

\--------------------

That evening, when everyone was asleep she marched over to the community center. It was closed but Mayor Lewis let her keep the key. She angrily fumbled with the key in the lock and threw open the door. The community center was dark but still lovely, clean, and cozy. Not at all like the dreary shell it had been before.

But Stella was furious!

She stomped up to the fireplace where the juminos had left their golden stars in a circle; one granted for each room she had restored.

“You were supposed to help him!” She shouted.

But the community center was silent. There was no breeze moving through the holes in the walls. No sound of creaky rafters or windy eaves. There were no curtains floating curtains or tinkling wind chimes…

And no sign of the juminos.

She sank to the ground and put her head in her hands. She knew the juminos had left. She knew it was over. The community center was restored and everyone had their happily ever after.

But… what about Shane?

She felt the pendant in her pocket poking into her leg. She pulled it out and looked at the pretty blue shell. She thought of the pretty blue Joja beer cans lined up along the bar counter. She thought of the pretty blue hens, with their shiny feathers and gentle crows.

_~“The mermaid’s pendant unites lovers, and should only be given to the one whom you love.”~_

Was _this_ the answer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, Stella IS painfully oblivious. But it is more fun that way, isn't it. ;)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment! We're getting closer~


	16. The Bouquet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane invites Stella to a gridball game with him but is too shy to admit that it's a date! It's about time for our happy ending. ;)

_“I don’t know you. So why are you talking to me?”_

_“Oh wow, Stella! How’d you know this is my favorite?”_

_“I just feel like, no matter how hard I try… I’m not strong enough to climb out of that hole.”_

_“Godfather. In name only. Aunt Marnie is really the one who takes care of her.”_

_“Sober looks good on you.”_

_“Hopefully… I won’t be around long enough to need a plan…”_

_“You cannot save me!”_

_“I’ve been coming here often lately… Looking down. Here’s a chance to finally take control of my life… These cliffs…”_

_“I believe in you.”_

_“Eat your hat? Boy, I would pay to see that.”_

_“Well, have you actually hung out with him at all? Maybe you should play pool with them.”_

_“It’s the perfect home for you hens… We’ll have the best eggs in the whole valley!”_

_“Stella? Are you okay?”_

Stella stood alone in the darkness, chest heaving, sweat dripping from her brow. In one callused hand she clutched her claymore, her pickaxe in the other. She had carved down, down, down through the mines. And she finally made it. Floor 100.

Before her was a chest. She sheathed her sword, secured her pickaxe. then gingerly stepped toward it. Placing her hands upon it, it creaked open, revealing something glittering inside. Stella blinked as her eyes adjusted to the bright light and when they finally did she blinked some more in confusion, not sure if she was seeing right.

It was a stardrop fruit.

She remembered Krobus explaining: _“When humans eat stardrops it reveals their innermost desires…”_

She gently lifted the glistening, indigo fruit. It seemed to twinkle, like the fruit itself held an entire galaxy inside. She was tired, she was beaten, her mind still racing with thoughts of Shane. It looked succulent and full of vitality. She didn’t even wait to open her mouth and take a bite.

It was sweet, but not too sweet. A little sour but just enough to round out the flavor. The texture was firm yet soft. the juices exploding in her mouth in a burst of sensation. Immediately she could feel its effects take hold.

Her bruises, her scrapes, her aching muscles melted away so that she felt as light as air. Her chest filled with warmth and peace as her mind floated up into the stars.

She began to see a vision. A sickly yellow. Blurry shapes began to form. One of them was Shane hunched over the counter at the Stardrop Saloon, a beer in hand, a sad look in his eyes. Despite the brightness of the room everything felt dark. Shane took a sip and Stella felt fire burning down her own throat. Such hopelessness, such pain, anxiety, hatred, and fear…

And then the saloon door creaked open.

There was a blinding light but out of the it someone appeared, walking toward him, holding a flaming torch.

It was her.

As she drew close to him she could feel the darkness slipping away; the pain, the fear, the sadness. She could breathe again. She could feel again. And she even felt happy.

The torch disappeared and they embraced each other and everything all at once felt at peace.

 _“I love you.”_ She said before kissing him.

And his voice answered back, _“I love you too.”_

\------------

Stella awoke to a throbbing headache and someone pounding on her door. She sat up confused. She was in her bed. She looked at the clock. It was 11 am and Balou was pacing about, looking hungry and annoyed.

What happened?

Stella brushed her hair away from her face, which was in a particularly knotted mess, as if she had been running around all night. Did she have some kind of acid trip? Was the stardrop fruit hallucinogenic??

She groaned, smacking herself on the head, “Never. Ever. EVER. Take. Advice. From Krobus!”

Someone knocked at the door again.

“Coming!” She tried shouting but it came out more like a croak.

She threw off her blanket, hopped in her slippers, groaning and moaning all the while because her whole body felt like she had been dragged through a ringer. Hunched over in her robe, she hobbled over to her front door.

“Yes?” She forced a smile as she opened the door despite feeling like death.

It was Shane. Gentle, lovely, beautiful Shane.

“Shane?!” She quickly tried fix her hair some but her fingers were so uncoordinated she was pretty sure she was only making it worse.

Shane looked, understandably, confused, “Sorry to- uh… bother you so early…?”

It was 11 am.

“No. No it’s fine.” Stella leaned against the doorframe, trying to ‘be cool’, and blew away some hair from her face, “Last night I uh-“ Ate a hallucinogenic fruit and proceeded to go on some wild acid trip where I professed my love to you? “-stayed up late… Working. In the mines.”

Shane looked unconvinced, “Uh huh.” He said, arms folded and skeptical.

She grinned, still acting like everything was normal, “Anyway. What brings you here? Lookin’ for some peppers? Pretty sure I’ve got a fresh batch in the green house!”

He thrust his hand out to her. He was holding a gridball ticket, “I- uh…” He blushed, so adorable, “Remember that Joja video contest? Well. It turns out I won.”

“Hey! Congratulations!”

He nodded but he looked nervous, “So yeah. I paid off the loan to Joja. Which was great but I- … I had some money left over so I- …So I-“ He took a breath in and then spoke at lightning speed, “I bought two tickets to a gridball game in Zuzu City and I was wondering if you’d like to come with me?”

Stella didn’t catch it at first so she clarified, “You’re inviting me to see a gridball game?”

“Yes.”

“Like a date?”

He turned as red as a pepper. He shoved the ticket into his pocket, “Sorry. I- I can ask someone else, sorry for bothering you-“ He turned to leave but Stella quickly grabbed him by the arm.

“No…” She chuckled, “Shane. I’d love to come with you.”

He looked like he didn’t believe it. He caught his breath and handed her the ticket again, “The game’s tomorrow so… Meet me at the bus stop at 5 pm?”

She smiled, “Sure thing.”

\-----------

 _You’re just going to a gridball game._ Stella tried telling herself. _You’re just going to a gridball game with Shane._

But it was so clearly a date. She didn’t remember the last time she tried to make herself look presentable. Even for Sebastian she just tried to tidy her hair some and tuck in her shirt. But this time… This time she wanted to look good. Shane deserved it. He had come so far and had so little self-worth. She wanted to look her best for him to really show him that she cared. To show him that he _was_ worth it.

After putting on an old dress shirt and skirt she had fished out from the back of her closet, she checked herself in the mirror. Would Shane like what he saw? She blushed in spite of herself and wondered for the first time: _How does Shane feel about me?_

He used to be such a jerk but as she wore him down he became so friendly. He was even a little shy, like Jas. Was he shy because he was nervous about his feelings?

It was 4:45 pm. She had to leave now if she wanted to meet Shane in time. She grabbed the bouquet she had picked up from Pierre’s that morning before she went out the door. There was one way to find out how Shane felt and Stella wasn’t going to be shy about it.

\---------

Shane stood nervously at the bus stop waiting for her. The bus engine grumbled behind him as some villagers boarded.

So. This was a date?

Stella made it sound like it could be. But still he wasn’t sure what to think. The last he knew she was in love with Sebastian. Stella and him were just good friends. Did something happen? Could she have changed her mind? He had been debating it ever since the day before and he hated being in limbo like this! He scratched the back of his head nervously, forgetting that he had actually put some gel in his hair to make himself look a little better than he normally did. He had tried to clean himself up. He felt dumb about trying so hard. Would she think he was being dumb? What if she wasn’t taking this as seriously as he was?

And then she came around the corner.

His heart pounded when he saw that she, too, had tried to clean herself up. Her wild hair somewhat tamed and he spotted a hint of some make up? Her lips were strikingly rosey. She wore a short skirt revealing those beautiful Olympian legs… He swallowed hard, hot under the collar, but he was still able to muster a friendly smile, “Glad you can make it-“ But was interrupted when she thrust a bouquet of flowers into his chest.

He looked down at them; fairy roses. Purple, thorny, sweet smelling, beautiful roses. Jas’s favorite.

Stella looked up at him with a silly grin and glittering eyes, “Do you like them?”

“Are-…” He cleared this throat, suddenly feeling his confidence deflating, “Are they for Jas?”

Stella frowned, “Why would they be for Jas?”

 _They’re for me?_ He opened his mouth to respond, but he was speechless.

Then Pam called from inside the bus, “Last call for Zuzu City!”

Shane's legs were jelly. Stupidly and awkwardly he grunted, “We should get going…”

“Okay!” Stella responded, chipper.

He quickly climbed into the bus, kicking himself for being such an idiot but Stella didn’t seem to mind. They sat in the back of the bus together, Shane clutching the bouquet, still confused and trying to figure out what to say. Pam put the bus in gear and they grumbled out of the city. Once they were on the road, Stella began prodding at him again, “Well. Do you like them?”

He knew he was blushing. He hated how obvious his emotions were, “They’re Jas’s favorite.” He said.

She poked him in the side. He hated it when she did that; he was always afraid she would feel how soft he was around the middle, “You are avoiding the question.” She stuck out her tongue at him.

He swallowed hard; his throat dry.

_I love them._

_I love them because I love you._

“They’re… They’re very pretty.”

\-------

Stella was growing frustrated. _"They're very pretty"??_ What the hell was that supposed to mean? Of course they were “pretty”! She thought giving him the bouquet would be enough of a hint but she was really underestimating how shy the guy was.

Let’s drop a bigger hint.

She leaned back in her chair casually, “So. Sebastian and I are officially threw.”

Shane stiffened. She couldn’t help but smile a little. Would he take the bait?

He cleared his throat again, “I’m sorry to hear.”

He was being polite and she didn’t mind, almost enjoying this little game they were playing. She shrugged casually, “Nothing to be sorry about. I think it’s better for the both of us.”

“That’s… good.”

“Besides.” She said, leaning toward him some, “There is… someone else.”

\-------

_Someone else…?_

Shane's heart was pounding so hard he thought he might faint. She was looking him dead in the eye. She basically had it written all over her face. How could this be real? It couldn’t be real. Could it? The flowers. The “date”. Everything she was saying. It was all too overwhelming. He took deep breaths. He remembered almost kissing her in the community center…

He covered his mouth his hand and turned away from her. He coughed some, “So. What do you know about gridball?”

 _You idiot! What are you doing!?_ He squeezed the bouquet until he felt the thorns press into his palms.

\---------

Stella was… Perturbed.

Boy was Shane hard to crack! Did he not like the flowers? Did she misunderstand his feelings? What if he didn’t feel the same way she did and she was just making things awkward?

She folded her arms and leaned back in her chair, looking out the window a little defeated, “No. I don’t know much about gridball.” She admitted. Then she smiled at him, hoping to turn things around again, “Why don’t you tell me about it?” Maybe getting him to talk about something he loved would help him open up.

And it did.

He was nervous at first as he started to explain the game rules. But then began telling her about who they would be seeing on the field that day, his favorite players, the stories of inter-team rivalries, and he began opening up. Stella watched him practically glowing as he excitedly told her about ‘the great upset of Spring 10’ and the underdog front runner whose entire career depended on _this_ game they would be watching.

Listening to Shane talk about gridball, she realized it was when he was happy and passionate about something that she loved him the most.

\---------

“Here, I got you another cold one.”

Shane handed Stella a pint of lager. As she took a sip of the cool refreshing beer she noticed Shane slip a can of sparkling water from his coat. She was proud that he hadn’t given into temptation.

Shane opened the can with a snap, tipped his head back and glugged some down before giving a satisfied exhale. He looked sidelong to Stella, “Pre-game nerves.” He said simply, “I’d usually have a beer to calm myself.” He shook the can of sparkling water, “This will have to do.”

The stadium lights illuminated the field as the sun was setting, submerging them in perpetual sunlight. Even though the day was ending the game was only beginning. Shane had really splurged, buying them front row seats. Stella never really had much interest in sports so she had never found herself in a stadium, more or less so up close and personal to the field. She always though guys who liked gridball were meatheads but now here in the stadium in the middle of all the excitement she started to understand why someone might like it so much.

But what was by far the most exciting was seeing Shane coming alive. She pressed on, wanting to see more of him; “So who is your favorite again?”

Shane jutted a finger toward a man who looked like a particular powerhouse, “Number Two.” Shane leaned his arms on the barrier in front of him, keeping his eyes on the pitch, “He’s the front runner for the Tunnelers. He was disgraced only a couple of years ago; he suffered an injury and had to leave gridball to recover. This is his first season back and he’s played pretty okay so far, but today… _This_ game. This game will decide if the Tunnelers can go on to the championship and as front runner it’s basically up to him to win the game. I think this is more suspenseful than the championship itself! This is his chance to prove he’s really come back.”

Number Two looked determined as he limbered up next to the field but even from a distance Stella could just see in the athlete's eyes the slightest hint of uncertainty. This win was not guaranteed. She could feel the suspense.

Stella slurped her foamy beer before asking “So, what was his injury?”

With that Shane got quiet. The can of sparkling water hung delicately from his fingers, “He uh- … Well it wasn’t really an ‘injury’… You see he-“ Shane cleared his throat, “A journalist uncovered that he had a drug addiction and he was kicked from the team. He’s gone to rehab though and now he’s clean.”

Stella _wasn’t_ expecting that kind of answer but it did help her understand all the more why Shane wanted to see him succeed so badly. Shane wanted to see that you could recover from an addiction. Maybe it would always haunt you but that didn’t mean it could stop you from achieving success.

Stella squeezed Shane’s thigh, “I’m sure he can do it.”

Shane gave her a soft smile but was quickly distracted as the teams went to their starting places. The ball was dropped and the games began. Shane was already cheering, jumping up and down almost like a school boy. Stella couldn’t help but laugh as he nearly spilled sparkling water all over himself.

The game went on and the two teams were evenly matched. Eventually, though, it seemed that the opposing team was getting the upper hand. The audience began to become less festive as the score became more and more stacked against them. Even Shane started to get a little somber, watching with sad eyes as Number Two walked off the field during a short break, wiping sweat from his brow, looking exhausted and somewhat defeated.

“Oh Shane…” Stella said quietly, “You said there’s still a chance though, right? If they score a long goal?”

Shane nodded, “Yeah. But… That’s a pretty rare thing to happen.” Then he took a deep breath and straightened his posture, “But that’s okay. Number Two tried his hardest and that’s good enough for me.” He smiled, “Not every game is like the movies. It’s the fact that he tried that counts.”

“You’re right, Shane.” Stella discreetly slipped her hand into his.

Shane blushed and for the first time the whole game he tore his eyes away from the field, looking at their hands. The sounds around them became muffled; Stella could just faintly hear a whistle blowing, signaling the game was about to start again… But Shane’s attention was still on her.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to say…” He started, looking her in the eye, “Thanks for sticking with me through everything… My anxiety, depression… You know… You’ve been a real good friend to me.”

_Friend?_

The word hung in the air like a stench. Did Shane really only see her as a friend? What was all this then!? Stella hated how selfish and hurt she felt about it. Shane noticed her turn in mood and turned his eyes back to the game, clearing his throat nervously, “So… uh.. What do you think of gridball?”

“Noisy.” Stella scoffed, letting her hurt get the better of her, “It makes me appreciate how peaceful back home it is.”

That wasn’t how she felt at all and she regretted it as soon as she said it. She noticed him shift his weight anxiously, reaching for his can of sparkling water like it was a habit instead of something to enjoy, "Oh yeah? I guess that makes sense. Me? I get bored with Pelican Town sometimes. But... I like that you're different. We balance each other out." He lightly kicking a piece of rubbish on the ground away from them, looking a little hurt.

It was a kind thing to say. But she was… heartbroken. This was supposed to be their moment, wasn’t it? Maybe she needed to bite the bullet and just-

Say it.

“Shane I-“

“AH!” He yelped, dropping the can from his fingers and looking at the field in shock.

“What? What!?” Stella gasped, turning to look.

Shane was pointing frantically at Number Two, “The Tunnelers are on the attack!”

In an instant, Stella had completely forgotten her negative feelings. She watched as Number Two, ball tucked under his arm, hurdled down the field at an incredible sprint. Stella gripped the railing, leaning over it to get a better view, “Is he going for the long shot!?” She gasped as the crowds around them began losing it.

“GO NUMBER TWO!” Shane shouted and Stella began jumping up and down and cheering too, “GO GO GO! DON’T STOP!”

And then-

“GOAL!”

The crowds lost it. People were throwing food like confetti. Balloons erupted from the stands all around them. Number Two threw the ball down into the end zone in a show of victory and his teammates rushed him, grabbing him and throwing them up onto their shoulders. The announcer began playing a triumphant song of Tunneler victory as the scoreboard changed to reflect the new score. The Tunnelers have won!

“YES! YES!!!” Shane shouted, losing it. Stella was laughing again; laughing and laughing and laughing. And then Shane turned to her, smiling and giddy. In one swift movement he took her by the waist with one hand, took the back of her head with the other, and kissed her.

Time slowed for a moment. His lips were soft with the slightest taste of sweet sparkling water. She felt his stubble prickle against her cheek...

But just as quickly as he had kissed her, he pulled away, looking at her in complete shock, his cheeks flushed red, “Oh!” He gaped, covering his mouth. He quickly turned away, “I… I’m so sorry… I got carried away… One- One too many-” But they both knew he had been drinking sparkling water. His go to excuse wasn’t going to work now.

Stella watched Shane fall apart, as if he had messed up somehow. Like he had been trying to hold himself back this whole time but had finally lost it. Now his cripplingly shyness was taking over once more.

But Stella just smiled, “Oh Shane…” She chuckled. She took his hand, interlacing their fingers, and gently guided him to face her. He looked down at her, flushed and wide eyed, fearful of what she might do next. She gently wrapped her arms around his neck and shoulders and kissed him again. She could feel his whole body stiffen in shock but then he melted, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close, leaning into the kiss with everything he had.

It was clear he had been waiting for this for a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is essentially the end - the next chapter will be an epilogue that refers to Shane's final heart event (where Marnie becomes nervous that he might have relapsed). Thank you so much for reading! I hope you have enjoyed it! Is there anything you'd like to see in the final chapter? Let me know in the comments below!


End file.
